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Freaking out that my kid WILL get in?
cj9623
21 replies1 threads Junior Member
At the risk of sounding ridiculous, is anyone else freaking out about the possibility of their kid actually getting IN to the BS they've been dreaming of.... and then having to actually LET THEM GO!? Parents of BS kids, how do you deal with not spending their birthdays with them? How do you cope with not seeing them for weeks or months? Does it get easier? I know it's an amazing opportunity for my kid, and I know I'm being a little presumptuous here, but I want to be prepared. I think I'm going to need to be medicated on M10. LOL
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Replies to: Freaking out that my kid WILL get in?
I didn't even cry until about 2 weeks after drop off....my daughter had to make a book covered with ephemeral items....she showed me her finished product and on it was a sticky note my son had written when he was going out for a run...super simple, but so him. I lost it. Bawled like a baby.
I'm not going to lie and say it's all cake and balloons...but he FaceTimes several days per week...and every time I see him in his element, it makes it easier knowing this was the perfect decision. I see such growth in him in areas I never thought he'd expand...I even see more appreciation from him for his family & home.
He comes home holidays...I went up Parent's weekeand we are going up again on President's Day weekend. I think the longest we've been apart is about 6-8 weeks. I miss him most after immediately I see him & get to spend time with him...it's more apparent then the void his absence brings to our family. But then we settle back in to routine and almost nightly FaceTime sessions. And again I see how he's flourishing and it's all worth it.
Go ahead and freak out....we'd worry if you didn't! But I think you'll find that it ends up being easier than you expect.
We went from a no way family to yes yes family. After all we have to let our own kids make their own choices. What do we know about future.
So, when he came home from an assembly at school and told us he planned to apply to PEA, we used the same line, “ we won’t stand in your way”. If you apply, get accepted and get FA then of course we support your decisions. Of course- we never believed all that would happen. So March 10th, 2010 all our lives changed dramatically.
Fast forward 8 years later and I can’t imagine having done it any other way. The BS journey has been a crazy ride for us all. It led all 4 kids to attend, me to move across the country (couldn’t stand being so far away) so many memories for all. Our youngest graduates in 2019 and our families BS journey is coming to an end. Now to decide who to follow to college... (halfway joking)!
As for freaking out about getting in, I was the odd parent here who was praying her kid did NOT get into his first choice college. Of course, he did. You just deal with it. Remember, it’s all about them, not us.
His sister, 8th grade, has applied for next year. She's our baby and, well, I would love for her to stay home and go through high school sports and prom and drama with us here. But, alas, it isn't about me, and it's what she's wanted since she was 7. I'm not sure how it will play out. If she gets in and goes, I'll join you for a drink on March 10...and again on Aug 26.
What keeps me up at night is the financial commitment that we’re going to make if he gets into his school(s) of choice on M10. Today’s average BS tuition is 3x what it was when I graduated 25 years ago, and that is an extraordinary amount of money for any family. Even though we have resources to pay and have a strong commitment to providing a top notch education, I would be lying if the figure did not give me pause. Regardless of whether a family is FP or on FA, it is a significant sacrifice for any family to make (unless maybe you are some kind of celebrity and worth 8 or 9 figures)! The money parents spend on BS means giving up savings that would have padded your retirement, or remodeled a section of your home, or provided a much needed new car, etc. Even the logistics of taking time off work to transport back and forth because breaks start on a Friday and end on Monday – it all adds up! All these things run through my head, but in the end I am rooting for him to get in on M10 because I know that is what he wants, and that it is the opportunity of a lifetime for him.
When my oldest one was 4 or so, she had left her blanket at home. We had gone to a vacation spot almost 2 hours a way for the weekend. She couldn't sleep without it. Of course, when we discovered it upon arrival, I turned right around myself and traveled the 2 hours back to get it and another 2 hours back to the hotel.
I guess I was thinking of that. If DD forgot something she really needed 2 hours was about my limit, but I knew I could go down and back in one day--if ever she forgot something...like forgot to give us a hug and a kiss or forgot boo boo again at home and needed it.
Some do, others don't. Two years ago, we had an opportunity to compare FA packages of 7 schools. You can PM me if you want specifics.
Our D is a senior at a top BS. It was her decision to apply and to go. We were strongly opposed. Eventually gave in based on the opportunity. She has been intensely challenged and has risen to the challenge. She has loved every minute-mostly the freedom to make her own way. She is a school leader, an athlete, strong academically and considers her school her home. She has great college offers with more to come, we expect.
Knowing how much she has grown and how much she has loved it, I still can't swear we would do it again. It does mean giving up being a significant part of their lives, of making memories, of sharing moments, of imparting values. She turns 18 in ten days...and we won't be there. Their daily school schedules are way too full to be interrupted.
Her middle school learning partner-they were on their own elevated track together-stayed behind at the local school, has been the big fish in a small pond, and with his outstanding statistics, all being relative, was admitted early to Harvard. One and done. Boom. And he stayed home. We can't take back the time we did not get to share with our D She will soon leave for college and as our 4th child, we know that is the final launch. Don't feel badly about freaking out and wondering if it is really what you want. It is still your decision too.
Birthdays are difficult and she just had her sweet sixteen and not being there with her made it a rough day. The most difficult time for me though is sitting down to dinner and missing all of her activities. I’m a single Mom and she is an only child so the dinner table is a lonely place and I don’t have any other kids activities and events to occupy my time.
That all being said, I would not change this path if given to do over again. She has flourished in her new environment, grown into this amazing young woman, and is receiving an education well above what she would here at home. She has made life long friends and “sisters” and her school has become home to her! This experience enhanced her independent nature and challenged her to grow and it’s shown me how strong we both are and it’s pushed me to take my newly found free time to go back to college and get my degree. I wouldn’t change any of our decision, though I wouldn’t mind living a little closer!