Jitters

dramamama3 · September 26

My daughter is getting the last minute jitters and now is doubting that she has what it takes. She is afraid to submit her prescreens and is giving up before it starts. I think she wants it so badly that she is psyching herself out. Any advise or any words of wisdom?

MTSthistime · September 27

No words of wisdom unfortunately, but I am seeing the same with my son. He doesn’t think his prescreens are good enough and wants to redo, but I don’t think he will ever be really satisfied with them. Probably a normal step in the process, and I’m hoping once he hits the send button he will relax and know he did his best.

dramamama3 · September 27

@MTSthistime it is good to hear she is not alone . Good luck to your son. I agree about not being completely satisfied with them. But it’s not about perfection which is really hard when your child is a perfectionist . Thank you
#hitthesendbutton 😀

actorparent1 · September 27

I would recommend doing some research and finding some safety schools, either BFA programs that don't require an audition or strong theater BAs. And maybe even a couple of liberal arts colleges that have other majors that she might be interested in if she decides not to do MT after all. That way she can go into the audition season and give it her best shot, confident that she has good backup options even if the auditioned BFA programs don't work out.

dramamama3 · September 27

@actorparent1 thank you. She has three safeties she loves and would be happy to go to any of them. She is applying early decision to her dream school so I think the thought of a no from them is stuck in her head . Today she is much more upbeat .

Knowsstuff · September 27

Rejection is part of the game. But let her know that programs take what they need that year. If they already have some tall blond and blue eye girl then she can be the best but they might be looking for a short brown hair girl also. It's not always about who's the best. Every program will have specific needs usually based on what shows they might be thinking of doing that next year or two.

dramamama3 · September 27

@Knowsstuff thank you. That’s true just like when auditioning for a show a girl may be the best but is too tall for the male lead so it goes to someone else. Just because she doesn’t get in doesn’t mean she isn’t talented just not what they are looking for . Thank you 😀

StarWarsDad · September 27

The jitters will always be a part of the MT life even after college. I always say jitters are good, if you didn't have the jitters, then do you really want it?

Prescreens are rough, because no one likes to hear themselves sing, plus with the added pressure of the nature of MT you'll always think you can do better.

The important thing to remember is that they chose this path because they are absolutely in love with it. Self doubt will never go away, but hopefully neither will the love they have for this.

dramamama3 · September 27

Thank you @StarWarsDad . That was written perfectly . 😀

CaMom13 · September 27

@dramamama3 (and anyone else in the same boat) - we used an MT coach and one of the things that was nice about that was having someone OUTSIDE the family and friends circle who could judge a prescreen as "good enough" to send. It cut down a lot of back and forth for us. I don't think my D would ever have agreed to send in her prescreens without that external okay because they were never "good enough" for her. Filming prescreens was honestly the worst part of the application process for us. I wish your jittery child good luck and calm nerves!

yellahamma · September 27

@dramamama3 My D was always going to be a MT major- until her junior year in HS when she decided her dance skills would not get her into her dream school. Nerves got the best of her and she went a different direction. Now an Acting BFA freshman, she said one of her instructors told students they are not looking for perfection in the audition room- they are looking for potential. I think that hit home with her. Best of luck to your D and to someone seeing her potential.

Knowsstuff · September 27

@yellahamma... I was going to write that.. Lol . My daughter went to a known performance art high school. When we asked years later why she was picked for MT the director of the program said potential.

But went into a bfa theater design program for two years but missed academics. She transferred to another school and is in another direction but using art in everything she does.

We know kids that are in touring Hamilton groups in Chicago and a few that got to NY and off-Broadway. Some that auditioned for Broadway. But too many that left the field after one semester to one year of a BFA. These kids already did it in High school to an extremely high level(off book with markings in two weeks then 10 shows) and I think got burned out.

My only suggestion is have a back up plan. It's a hard field to make a sustainable living.

Good Luck.

dramamama3 · September 27

Thank you everyone for the pep talk . The cast list for her schools fall show just came out and she was cast in the lead role so she is feeling good again!!!!

Knowsstuff · September 27

Congrats.." Break a leg"... (no don't do that 😉)

dramamama3 · September 29

Prescreens submitted and she is happy with them! Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement!!!

uskoolfish · October 3

I think jitters are normal for the process. But if your child is sending out mixed signals about pursuing MT because she finds the process unsettling, it is a legitimate concern. I think it's time to have a discussion that pursuing MT will mean that there is always going to be auditions and it is never a straight path. Even if someone is lucky to experience a lot of bookings in their life as a performer, there is not stability like other professions. Shows close and you need to move on and start the process all over again. Auditioning, worrying about money again. Not everyone wants that instability and challenge in their lives. It's not about being fragile and learning to toughen up in time. It's a different way of life that works for some people but not others.

theaterwork · October 20

^^ 10/10 what @uskoolfish just said. My daughter switched from MT to another major this year ( junior yr)
Decided the lifestyle was not going to be for her and it was causing her unreal anxiety and she was miserable. She was finding college MT & the prospect of graduating and being tied to it financially also was not what she wanted and it is SO different from just doing it for the joy of it like in middle/high school. She went to a PA high school so was also burnt out from constant performances. She has sang and performed since age 5.

She also decided she did not want a future of being judged & cast on so many factors she had no control over (besides talent. ) Looks, political issues and toxic favoritism etc. she could not fathom having to constantly start over like stated above . Always auditioning for the next job since in most cases the jobs are short term.

I was the parent that you probably are.. “ my daughter will never leave MT” ... and here we are... so don’t think it’s not a possibility in your child’s future later. No matter how much of a theatre person your child is or how much of a theatre family your family is. I am / was that family also. I can’t begin to tell you the amount of time ,money and devotion my family has given to theatre in general! It’s possible your child may bail. They may not , but a LOT happens in the beginning of college life. Just go in knowing your kid may leave with a degree in something else and that’s ok. My daughter has found she is good at so many new things she never had time for before or ever given a chance to do. Sorority activities and fundraising for their charity , she is a social media director on an on campus magazine, did an amazing internship for a theatre festival this past summer etc. where she legit learned more then any college class by far. She has interned at a casting agency as well last semester. So her resume is filling up already .

do I hope she still performs or at least sings on the side? Yes , as I know she is an amazing singer but she must figure it out herself and how to fit it in when regular life will get in the way. But I know if she truly loves it she will find a way to fit it in somehow plus still have a job she is more comfortable in with future sustainability.

vvnstar · October 21

@theaterwork - your daughter sounds like she is doing really well. I just thought I'd mention that several of our Ds friends did internships during college summer break with digital marketing agencies in NYC that do social media marketing for Broadway shows. And at least two of them were able to gain full time employment with one of these companies upon graduation. It sounds like something that may be right down your daughter's alley. So if she is interested in doing another internship next summer, she may want to research and investigate this.

themomager · October 21

yes anything is possible and there are MANY directions that all kids can go in! It's all good! Perhaps choosing NOT to pursue this path at this stage would be hard for these kids to look back with the regret. So many students choose NOT to pursue their major after college. It drives me crazy that our kids feel so much pressure at age 17/18 to stick with a performance career as if their life decisions are black/white/right/wrong/yes/no. Life just doesn't work that way, nor should it!

theaterwork · October 21

@vvnstar that does sound like her thing! I will tell her to look into this.

@themomager I have thought about that too... the regret factor. We discussed this ad nauseam when she said she was switching and she is firm in that even though she does not want her degree in MT , she can still audition for things when she wishes to . We all know an MT degree is not required for auditioning and she seems content with just having her theatre minor which she has already . Plus Lord knows if she graduates and changes her mind again she can always go off to nyc and throw her hat in the ring with everyone else. What’s good is she will have her other major/ degree floating in the background if she did that.

themomager · October 21

I meant the regret as something that would be hard for our high school students who might be doubting if they are good enough to pursue it in college. I think it would stink to let fear get in the way and always wonder what if! Your daughter has already been exposed to the BFA thing, been there/done that in college and got enough of a taste of this as a career path. This is exactly what she should be figuring out at her age! She has gained enough skills in college to hit the audition circuit either way at this point. And sounds like the best of both worlds to me, given that she'll have a degree in something else.

Jitters

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