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No Happy News at My Desk...


Replies to: No Happy News at My Desk...

  • AlumotherAlumother 6109 replies130 threads Senior Member
    Thank you all so much for the support - without this I might have driven my family absolutely insane. So they, unknowing, thank you.
    Does she have schools besides these four Ivies and Berkeley? Or should I say some match or safety schools?
    That's what I, along with DadofB&G, kick ourselves for. No. She doesn't. We looked at Tufts and Northwestern - she didn't like them. I know now we should probably have looked at Duke, Vanderbilt, Emory, and Rice - but she is a redhead who sunburns from even looking at a bluesky, and I was(was)unaware of how much of a crapshoot we are talking about. I didn't know that 1470 was a weakness in SATs, she only took them once....and she didn't study on her own...Princeton Review not so great....

    But we did what we did. And now of course even though she is proud she says the problem with Berkeley is that everyone will be from California, even though she was the one who told me that if she didn't get into the Ivies she would just as soon stay in CA. Yes, our weather is the best, BTW. But the Regents is great. And she is the kind of kid who is undaunted by numbers, or distant professors. All along I have told myself that Cal in some ways is the best fit for her to challenge her desire to be the boss of the world. (As an aside, when she was little, I had to periodically allow her to be the "boss of the day" to survive).

    And I am still holding on to the thought that my alma mater, the alum of my name, will give us a break. Although even if they don't, I love Princeton, I always will. So if anyone else has a kid who gets in and is undecided, send him/her my way for a conversation.
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  • overanxious motheroveranxious mother 302 replies23 threads Member
    UC Berkeley is seriously COOL...and w/a Regents it's really awesome...

    The WLs just plain stink...I know: been there, done that...my S got a flat-out rejection (how to make a WL feel better: get a rejection instead) from Stanford in December...not sure the sting will ever really go away. He got 4 acceptances in the last week...I like the 4 acceptances a whole lot more than the rejection...

    So, think about Berekely and a pox on all those elites who play mind games w/our our kids (and hence torture us)...you know what's the best thing about all this? How cool the kids are about acceptances as well as rejections...S is happy about his choices, but recognizes there's as much luck in the "yes's" as there was in the "no"...how did they get to be so level-headed and together when they're only 17 & 18???

    As for me: I vote celebrating to the max (let that cyber-champagne flow!) on the good news (Berkeley/Regents is definitely worth celebrating!)...and more of that pox on all those elites who aren't smart enough to accept our kids!

    Here's a hug for your daughter...we don't know each other, but the hug is full of love and admiration for her job well done...
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  • AlumotherAlumother 6109 replies130 threads Senior Member
    So tell us your acceptances. Even if it's someplace my D got waitlisted to - I will congratulate you and celebrate for you.
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  • momofthreemomofthree 1416 replies70 threads Senior Member

    I recall far too well the year my daughter was applying to schools and hated the three safeties she got into, money or no money, and was waitlisted at the other three choices, Swarthmore, Harvard, and Princeton. She called upon two faculty members who wrote impassioned letters for her to Swarthmore and after some time passed in May, she got in to Swat. It was a really scary time for us, as she was sure she would be miserable anywhere but Swat.

    From my investigations of Berkeley, there are so many opportunities available for students, it is a fabulous place. But my heart goes out to you as you wait to see what happens next. . .it can be so tough. Fingers crossed for Princeton!!!
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  • MarylandMomMarylandMom 240 replies15 threads Junior Member

    I am all too familiar with the emotions in your home tonight and I sincerely feel your pain for your D. We send our hugs your way and know that this will pass quickly. She will realize how wonderful she is and how very happy she is to have the opportunity and honor that she has achieved. Congratulations to her!!! (and remind her how lucky they would have been to have her in their student body) My D was rejected by Brown (after an ED deferral) and waitlisted at Cornell. But she does have 5 acceptances (Bucknell, Vanderbilt, Syracuse, Wake Forest and Tulane) to choose from with really nice aid as well. I know our Ds will excell this fall at whichever school is lucky enough to get them :):):)
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  • MotherOfTwoMotherOfTwo 2045 replies65 threads Senior Member
    Please don't focus so much on the "SAT" angle, as your daughter's scores are very good. If you look at the decision threads of the Ivy League schools, it seems like just as many students with SATs in the high 1500's and even 1600 and with almost perfect SAT 2s were rejected as those with lower (but still very good) SATs similar to your daughters. The more I look at those threads, the more the process really does seem like a "lottery" or a "crapshoot." I know it is easier said than done, but please try to relax a little bit during these most stressful few days!
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  • sybbie719sybbie719 20827 replies2024 threads Super Moderator

    Big huggs and a cyber cone for you in your favorite flavor.

    COngrats to you daughter on Berkley and the regents scholarship (good news, good news)

    Sorry to hear about the wait list (just a temporaty setback) It was nothing she did because all of the Ivies had a bump in applications with the same limited amount of slots for admissions. She needs to think about if she want to take a place in the wait list. It is not over yet as you haven't heard form the last 2.

    We hate for anything to hurt our kids, next year as you see that blur of red hair flashing by you happy as a lark today will be a distant memory.
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  • DadofB&GDadofB&G 228 replies11 threads Junior Member
    Alumother, I feel your pain, but really, to an east-coaster Berkeley has real cachet! Your D has already met with a huge success - Congrats.
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  • sacsac 1528 replies19 threads Senior Member
    Alumother -- I am sorry for your daughter's disappointments today. In a few days, you might suggest she take a look at the Cal Regents website. It brings great things -- a professor assigned to meet with her, a group of other Regents scholars, networking, social events that range from Salsa dancing to an ultimate frisbee team. I know because I spent much time on that site last year and many days trying to talk my son into accepting his Regents and going to Berkeley. (Too close to home for him). His friends who did go to Cal love it. As I did, too many years ago to count. Also, while most of the undergrads will be from California, she should also realize that the graduate students come from all over the world because the Berkeley faculty is world class.
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  • wish_it_was_aprilwish_it_was_april 556 replies47 threads Member
    Here's one more mom saying Congratulations to you and your D! But while I say that, I also understand how you may be aching.

    When my D applied, she got into her first choice school with merit money, but the rejection and waitlist that she also got from two others still hurt. Much as we say it is a crapshoot, or that they admitted their ballet dancer who was great at math during ED, and that it is not personal, it still can feel that way to our kids, and to us.

    But my D got over it quickly, and yours will too! Berkeley is a really big one! I hope her disappointment/shock soon turns to happy anticipation!
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  • momrathmomrath 5997 replies39 threads Senior Member
    Alumother, I know it must be excrutiating to wait for those last two decisions. . . In the meantime, focus on Berkeley. I lived in San Francisco for 13 years after I graduated from college and many of my friends and colleagues were Cal graduates. A fair number still lived in Berkeley (This was the 70's and those little Mission style bungalows were quite affordable. Alice Waters had just opened Chez Panisse.) All I can say is that it's a wonderful school, a wonderful way of life, and a wonderful launching pad for whatever comes next. I just learned that a niece of mine is going to Berkeley for her PhD (social work) so maybe I'll have occasion to visit again.
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  • texastaximomtexastaximom 1063 replies17 threads Senior Member
    Alu--good thoughts for you and your D that the last two drop, and a big congrats on the Berkley Regents! wOOt!
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  • SBmomSBmom 5697 replies28 threads Senior Member

    I am thinking of you and your D. I know the disappointment you are feeling. I want to mention that there are two possible outcomes to a kid like yours going to Berkeley: (1) she could spend a year there, then transfer anywhere in the world if she didn't love it, (2) she will love it and never want to leave.

    Neither outcome is bad!!

    Keep your fingers crossed. Your D has a fighting chance at any school and there are two to go yet.

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  • cangelcangel 4054 replies73 threads Senior Member
    Alumother - I'm thinking of you and your daughter and beaming you good wishes. Ice cream is always a good choice when things are down, but Berkeley is a great choice, too. Congrats to her.
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  • achatachat 2112 replies33 threads Senior Member
    Congrats on Berkeley. Fantastic school. Good luck on Princeton and Stanford.
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  • garlandgarland 16154 replies202 threads Senior Member
    Echoing what everyone else has said-- I feel for your D's disappointment, but to go to a great school like Cal, with money and perks, would be pretty fantastic, too.

    And if she came so close at H and C, that legacy at P might just push her over.

    but if not, start planning something special she could do for a summer program or travel with that money saved from her scholarship.
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  • Little MotherLittle Mother 1866 replies24 threads Senior Member
    Congratulations on your D's acceptance to the Regents program at Cal. Many kids would give their eye teeth to be in her shoes. She applied to the top schools (didn't notice any second tier schools in your list) and should be proud of her accomplishments. Start celebrating! There are no rejection letters in that pile!
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  • twinmomtwinmom 2703 replies123 threads Senior Member
    You can't imagine how many kids in the northeast would LOVE to go to Berekely - just about impossible to get in! Best of luck to your daughter and congrats on her Regents.
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  • lorelei2702lorelei2702 2089 replies36 threads Senior Member
    What an amazing crop of kids are applying this year! I look at people I know who did go to the schools these kids cannot get into, and I KNOW the competition was never like this. Your daughter did everything she could do, a real super achiever. The playing field will be considerably different in the real world when this bunch of students graduated, because MOST of the best and the brightest will not come from the traditional schools. Everything will have changed in terms of how we all perceive college admissions and what they mean. Your daughter knows she is appreciated, loved, supported, and destined for her own great things. You can all be proud.
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  • kronakrona 7 replies0 threads New Member
    Early this week when my son was nervous I hugged him and told him that whether he is accepted or rejected he is the same wonderful person with the same talents, abilities and great future.
    When he was accepted at a school he really wanted to attend I told him I loved him and was proud, but would have been so even if he had been rejected.
    This is the second time through this process and both my kids were accepted at great schools but I think it a very hard and negative experience for kids and in some ways they are exploited by the colleges. I wish there was an alternative possible.
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