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Need your Insight

SivSiv 6 replies2 threads New Member
Hello all!

Grateful to read all the discussion here, thank you.
I've been lurking for at least 2-3 years and am exploring the possibility of sending our kids to BS.

We have 2 kids. They currently are in international school in Asia with IB curriculum. DD is almost 13 going to 8th grade, DS is 11 going to 7th grade after this holiday (he is on the young side). DD is making improvement this semester although didn't get Honor Roll. We always say grades are not everything and what matters are motivation, perseverance, the will to keep on improving etc etc. DS got Principal Honor Roll this semester and has been getting Honors and Awards (Math, Student of the Year for several years). Dad was Ivy League alumni.

Our situation is slightly different but to make it short, dad and kids are citizen while I'm not. My question is how is it possible to send kids to BS while we live across the ocean? Is it even possible, at all? How often do parents need to pick up kids or is there option for kids to travel on their own safely? I'm trying my best to convince dad to let them go. I know application will start soon so we either do it this year or the following but I feel there are a lot of questions, logistics and mental preparation we need to sort out. Dad is not eager to let them go far and that's another thing I should do.

I wonder how do those International Students do it? I do have a sibling and several relatives but would like to at least know we can safely send them without having to put responsibilities on our families. I'm not even sure if members here know the answers because everyone lives in the country but I try anyway :)
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Replies to: Need your Insight

  • seekersseekers 140 replies4 threads Junior Member
    edited June 20
    Lots of international students attend boarding schools. Living overseas is not a barrier to entry. There may be logistical challenges, but there is plenty of support from a community of people who have dealt with those challenges before (families and school administrators). If you think about it, some kids whose parents are on the far coast of the US won't fly home for every break... so for long weekends dorms and dining halls may stay open, and a healthy fraction of kids stay on campus and have some fun activities together. For longer breaks, sometimes kids who live far away will stay with a nearby friend (and sometimes the administration helps facilitate that). And the schools will often have a mass transportation option for bussing kids to an airport when the school is closing to make travel connections easy. Your family members will be lucky if your kids want to stay with them... they'll have plenty of options, and won't be a burden.
    edited June 20
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  • SivSiv 6 replies2 threads New Member
    Thanks, I guess I need confirmation but I know it is possible. I myself was away from home when I was 14.

    I think it's more for the parents to be mentally prepared in letting their child go. I am hopeful that my daughter will be ready to enter G10 along with DS for G9 so we have a year to work on application. When I think of school I have warm butterflies, it was the magical time of life, living and spending time with friends as boarder will only strengthen that relationship. If only they knew!

    How does everyone handle school communication?

    Where we are, we use Managebac. Parents can see what units they are learning, homework for certain day, grades, and children communicates with their teacher using the same platform.
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  • Happytimes2001Happytimes2001 2235 replies18 threads Senior Member
    Many of the international kids are very successful at BS. Not only in the classroom but in leadership positions, sports and clubs. Kids travel with handoffs at airports to buses, trains etc. International kids often spend short holidays with friends or day students.

    Most BS, don't have a system in which you can see every grade. ( At least the ones we know of). Kids are expected to do their work and teachers have the means to send warnings or notes to the parents via advisors or faculty if something isn't going well. I think sending a kid to BS means you have faith in their skills not to micro-manage them. My kids are very reticent about us managing their schoolwork or even asking questions. I'm fine with that as long as the results are great. I don't know what other parents do. I do know that the workload is high and my kids are busy so it wouldn't really be feasible even if I wanted to follow them. ( I never did even in grammar/middle school). We do emphasize report cards (grades and comments).

    Based on that question, you might want to check with others you know who have gone to BS. I have a friend whose kids are at public school and she insists on checking all of her kids high school grades. So it's a parenting decision. You might/might not like that at BS, kids are fairly independent so the school might not respond to too much parental involvement. I'm the opposite of that. So maybe someone who used to check grades prior to BS can chime in.

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  • SivSiv 6 replies2 threads New Member
    Thank you for your comment.

    I definitely concur that we should let them handle school on their own. DS is naturally good with time management and is independent, DD however sometimes underestimate time then rush towards the end. We have been encouraging her to improve on this.

    From reading the forum and visiting schools websites, I am amazed at how mature the kids are, far more mature than I was in my time.

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  • vwlizardvwlizard 381 replies36 threads Member
    Many schools set up their own parent portals. I can see all of my kid's grades, but I really try just to check every once in a while. If grades are slipping the school will want the teacher and advisor to address it with the student. I think parents only tend to be notified so that there are no "surprises" and to let them know how things are being handled. As a parent with kids at both BS and LPS, I much prefer the BS system. It allows me to just be an encouraging and supportive parent rather than the study police.
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  • hopefulswimmer58hopefulswimmer58 56 replies8 threads Junior Member
    So many international students arrive at school with no parents, and fly from their country in by themselves! It can be challenging but a huge growth experience. Just about all of them fly home during breaks by themselves, but some parents help them move in or out their first year. They can also stay with other friends during breaks (usually Thanksgiving).

    Our school does not have any way for the parents to monitor their kids work, but, their advisors do stay in touch and talk to the kids for just about anything. If there are any issues, it should be relayed back to you.

    Parents also get sent grades and comment half way through each term, and at the end. Again, communication with teachers, students, and parents is generally very good if they have any issues with classes, adjusting, etc.

    I will warn though, that issues go to advisors first and if they cannot be fixed or are too big a deal, the parents will be notified. Not a bad thing, and helps the kid grow mature and solve their own problems!
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  • SivSiv 6 replies2 threads New Member
    Good to know. I don’t know which ways are good, parents able to monitor their kids or relying on advisor to send notifications when there are issues. I think this may give me heart attack and by the time we receive such email, the issue may be somewhat deep to resolve.

    There was an instance this year at the beginning of online learning when my DD was slacking off, rather than doing all her assignments as asked she chose and picked which ones she wanted to do. On half term I got the report essentially saying “minimal” effort on Design and Foreign Languange. Fortunately from that time on she was able to catch up and as we said to her, she would have been on honor roll had she been diligent and serious(she was off by 1point). Hopefully this concept stays in ber mind.

    Having said this I also realize their education is getting more complex and as I told them, we have other things to do we can’t always show or tell them what to do, they need to go to their teachers/advisors if there are anything unclear.
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  • CateCAParentCateCAParent 610 replies7 threads Member
    Our school is set up like @hopefulswimmer58 ‘s. I am a fan.

    Kiddo will report if a test doesn’t go well, and the advisor reports trends. So we know enough to feel involved but not too involved. I wish I read more of the papers after they are done - just so I know what he is working on. But honestly I just have to ask him. I don’t.

    At our school, freshman grades “don’t count” (not sure what this really means since I assume they are on your transcript going to colleges), which allows kids to learn how to self-regulate with minimal penalty.

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  • Golfgr8Golfgr8 1663 replies24 threads Senior Member
    To the OP: Many kids from overseas (38%) at our school. Really nice international “vibe”. Many kids with a variety of parent citizenship situations. There seems to be a group of parents from Asia who communicate about school via We Chat. There is a strong Parents Network with information for all families, as well as Host Families and Green Keys. If you are concerned, you should look at schools that have a large international student demographic and also look at what programs/traditions/supports are in place at the school to foster a sense of “community” and inclusion.

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  • UltimaCroixUltimaCroix 10 replies2 threads New Member
    @Golfgr8 Perhaps 38% POC or Domestic POC? Percentage of overseas kids more like 15-16%.
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  • SivSiv 6 replies2 threads New Member
    What is POC?
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  • SivSiv 6 replies2 threads New Member
    I was doing some thinking and was wondering about the effect of this covid on many non american students who perhaps couldn’t go back. Ours are fortunate they wouldn’t have this worrh but I imagine it will still be disruptive to their learning if they are sent to my brother and be totally on their own without the support staff at BS. The planner in me is trying to think this through, it is an interesting thought process.

    Thank you for your information @Golfgr8, 38% is quite a large student number. I will go back to school websites to learn about the nationality percentage. I had also attended a short TSAO webinar lately.

    Can’t believe how much reading and researching I have done and this is only the beginning
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  • CalliemomofgirlsCalliemomofgirls 439 replies19 threads Member
    @Siv -- Just wanted to reply to your question POC = person of color. Also, @Golfgr8, I do agree with @UltimaCroix that I think you might have been giving a different number. International is like 14% I believe from their website. I only point it out because this seems to be an important statistic to you, @Siv so don't want you jotting that down somewhere and then a year from now wondering what happened when you arrive to campus to an 85% domestic population.
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  • Golfgr8Golfgr8 1663 replies24 threads Senior Member
    Thanks for your post @Calliemomofgirls and @Siv - My mistake, as I was in the process of answering someone’s DM @ diversity and I included that estimated %, instead of the % of international students!

    FWIW, I will say that there were @1 16- 20 % international students in the class/grade that could be named as friends or acquaintances. Not sure about the school in total.
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