15 year old won't accept ADD diagnosis

Parents Forum
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<p>I was diagnosed with the exact same type I think.I had the inattentive version without hyperactivity. I still I have it, but I see it as a personality trait, I’ve never studied for more than 40 mins at one go, after 30-40 mins, I totally lose my concentration.</p>

<p>I had the luck of coming from a well off family, I went to the best schools, but I never reached my full potential academically, I repeated the 9th and 10th grade due to poor scores.</p>

<p>But in my country the university entrance criteria is totally different, you take the student placement test after you graduate, and that decides everything, your high school GPA doesnt matter one bit. </p>

<p>The computer places you into an appropiate university according to your test score.</p>

<p>In the student placement test, I got a very high score, putting me in the top third percentile, which landed me in the best university in the country.</p>

<p>You shouldn’t force him to take the meds if he doesnt want to, I don’t think meds are a solution to be honest, he should see it as a personality trait that he can change.</p>

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<p>We found it very interesting to ask our kids off and on what their expectations were. Sometimes I think having the kids verbalize their own expectations unprompted helped us understand them and what they find important or motivates them. My oldest always set his expectations alittle lower about sports, school really everything…and then would consistently exceed them. It is definitely his personality type. My youngest sets very high expectations about work, life, sports, school and sometimes we have to help him notch back alittle and get some balance in life. This has nothing directly to do with ADD or drugs, but I think understanding our kids perspective as they mature helps craft which battles are the battles worth fighting with our kids and may help the OP move to that next independence step in the parent/kid relationship.</p>

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<p>Halukan, your experience with ADD (and everything else for that matter) is a validation of reality for you as you are right now. Assuming the existence of people who are not exactly like you, I think it is safe to say that your conclusion that ADD is a fake disease created by drug companies to make money, is one of those YMMV kind of things.</p>

<p>You may even find that you change your mind over time as you encounter more and more people and situations in life. Only time will tell, but flexibility in thinking is a helpful personality trait that you can work on acquiring.</p>

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<p>Add is a made up thing that is absolutely ridiculous. Those who have add generally have lazy parents. Grow up and learn to deal with your “problem”.</p>

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<p>I don’t know if anyone else mentioned this (I didn’t see it as I scanned other posts quickly), but if he doesn’t want to use meds, he can try diet. We used the Feingold Diet, which began in the 80’s and has helped thousands of people improve their ADD/ADHD simply by changing the foods they eat. Check out [The</a> Feingold Diet Program for ADHD](<a href=“http://www.feingold.org%5DThe”>http://www.feingold.org) for information.</p>

<p>Also, I wanted to mention that you have to be very careful about having any child diagnosed with any behavioral or mental disorders. My DS was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ODD when he was 8 - he had terrible rages and mood swings. We started the Feingold Diet, and within 3 days he started to improve. Then we learned that he was actually allergic to everything they tested him for - foods, pollens, molds, etc. Once we got him allergy drops (not conventional medicine), he actually got better and was able to go off his diet. No meds at all, no psychological therapy, nothing. Now he’s getting ready to apply to colleges like Brown and Yale.</p>

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<p>^^ You are flaunting your ignorance.</p>

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<p>I agree that diet can affect behavior. When my D was younger we took her off of wheat & it made a huge difference. Still when she went away to camp, she went back on it & we couldn’t get her off again.</p>

<p>Only recently, when I found that I am gluten intolerant & encouraged her to change her diet as well, did she again take wheat out & says she feels better.
[AutismWeb</a> - Wheat-free, milk-free diet for autism and PDD](<a href=“http://www.autismweb.com/diet.htm]AutismWeb”>http://www.autismweb.com/diet.htm)</p>

<p>I also empathize with those who feel they should be able to do without medication - the media makes everyone feel like those with brain disorders should just be able to “buck up” and do without.</p>

<p>ADHD drugs don’t have a half life- ( in general) so a short trial period can be used to see if it even helps- but they are not a panacea and he still will need some external structure to help as he increases the learning demands.</p>

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<p>I love the diet idea. However that is another battle that I don’t think he will buy in to. He is not a very healthy eater and dosen’t agree there is anything wrong, so changes in his diet will be tough. He does worse in his afternoon classes, so I have wondered if it is something he eats for lunch. But it also might be that he reaches his limit for “keeping it together.”</p>

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<p>The analogy that my child’s psychiatrist used was glasses. Someone can be bright but have terrible vision. Give them glasses with a good prescription, and they can now read assignments and the blackboard. Next comes the hard work of having to study, which wouldn’t have been possible without the glasses. No one would say that this individual’s success is “fake”. Same deal with ADHD meds. </p>

<p>Posters who insist that this is a “made-up disease”, and that people should just learn how to manage their lives on their own don’t know what they’re talking about. Some individuals do learn how to manage their ADHD on their own, while others learn by using therapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy. Others find that prescription drugs do help.</p>

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<p>My oldest son was on ADD meds on and off from second grade on. Ritalin gave him rebound but Adderall really helped. Eventually, in HS, he wanted to go without the meds. We moved him to a small alternative HS where he got basically individual attention and he graduated HS. He refused meds and wound up dropping out of college. He is planning on going back next year and has asked me if I will help him get the meds for that time because he thinks they will help. He is 21 now. </p>

<p>We also did a course of neurobiofeedback for him when he was about 9 and I firmly believe that was very helpful and that it enabled us to keep him on very low dosage of the Adderall. In fact, I am going to investigate if it would be helpful to repeat it or do something similar.</p>

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<p>I wonder why some people have such an angry response to ADD. </p>

<p>I really don’t get the emotional response to this issue. How does it affect you that someone else may have a “problem”? Do you feel that the person who takes medication has some unfair competitive advantage over you or something? Otherwise, why would you even care?</p>

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<p>Btw, mini, I appreciate you taking your valuable time to share your well-intentioned and knowledgeable perspective on this thread. I see no agenda and I am a bit shocked at the accusation.</p>

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<p>We went to many psychs for help, but they really didn’t know what they were looking at. They went by the symptoms we were seeing and made a diagnosis - that’s what they’re paid to do, and it’s what they know. But in our case, they totally missed the mark. It was allergies all along and we just needed to fix the allergies. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it.</p>

<p>I had a feeling your S wouldn’t want to do the diet thing - it’s hard at this age. Teenagers don’t want others telling them what to do (rebels!), which is why he doesn’t want to try meds either. Maybe you could get him to compromise - try changing his diet for a couple of weeks just to see what happens. Take out the artificial colors and flavors, and the other preservatives that Feingold recommends, and see if it doesn’t help.</p>

<p>Also, you might want to keep a food diary, just to see if what he’s eating is making his symptoms worse or better, even if he doesn’t try the diet. Sometimes that’s helpful. You might want to try just taking out corn syrup and the artificials - that might be easier. I don’t know if that would be enough, but it’s worth a try.</p>

<p>Like I said, my S saw an improvement in 3 days, but sometimes it takes a little longer. His symptoms were worse at dinner time (hypoglycemia too) and in the fall and spring - pollens and molds.</p>

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<p>I love all of the ideas, diet, allergy to some additives (like red dye), counselling, behavior modification…they all help if they apply. The person that mentioned glasses is genious! Perfect example!
I think it was megan12 (sorry, can’t page back) that mentioned early diagnosis of psych disorders. Yes, it is a very slippery slope, and not one to go down quickly. Sureofsomething’s son is 15, which is a big difference between 8 and 15 for ADD.
Sureofsomething, I was wondering one more thing, would your son be willing to talk to another teen that takes ADHD meds and get feedback from them? The GC at the school may be willing to set that up with an appropriate student to have that discussion. Students with ADHD can have a stigma, but I have found that by HS, the only ones that are really mentioned by the other kids are the ones who do not have their ADHD under control. Your son may be comparing himself to the ones that stand out, not the ones that have learned to manage their ADHD already.</p>

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<p>First off, don’t you just hate snarky posts from kids with rather limited life experiences, whose responsibilites don’t yet include parenting? Now that I got that off my chest…</p>

<p>Yes, diet works for many. D2’s problems accelerated from tolerable to critical when she went vegetarian (I should say, junk-eterian.) She refused to consider the effect that was having. But, even as she got off that kick and accepted a balanced diet, it was clear she had issues.</p>

<p>Agree drugs are not always the only answer. Agree family must try to implement clever management and behavior mod, set limits and teach.</p>

<p>Also not mentoned, counseling for the parents, for several reasons- including to learn what they, themselves, are bringing to the table, so to speak.</p>

<p>We’re getting a certain amount of “can’t” and “won’t” here. Still no idea if he has counseling, if a generalist diagnosed him- or merely a testing specialist- what the real nature of his issues is, what strengths (beyond “smart”) he exhibits, what the parents have tried so far (besides trying to convince,) etc. No offense, but in many threads like this, the parent offers more specifics. For all we know, the kid IS just acting up.</p>

<p>Btw, just an aside. Years ago, I had a chance to observe an office where the MD specialist in behavior disorders routinely saw young patients to ensure they were ok on their meds. I was stunned that each “appt” was roughly 10 minutes. He’d ask, how are you doing, any side effects, that’s it. A string of kids in and out the door. That’s not counseling. That’s barely adequate management and oversight of a kid on Rx. Don’t be fooled that something like that is sufficient. IMO.</p>

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<p>I don’t know about other parents but when my kids were younger “You’re ADD” was a taunt thrown at kids who were goofing or did something silly. I’ve heard teen girls at our house pass by a full length mirror and exclaim, ugh I’m getting fat I need to find some Ritalin. Whether we parents want to accept it or not these drugs are culturally immersed with our kids and not always for the right reason and many neither understand the prescribed uses nor do they understand the seriousness of a situation where the drugs need to be used. Do I think some kids benefit from these drugs, absolutely. Do I think they are over prescribed, absolutely. Do I think that drugs alone will “fix” these kids,absolutely not. I think the posters who talk about behavioral modifications, diet modifications and lifestyle modifications (is the OPs son getting to bed at a decent hour, does he fall apart in the afternoon because he’'s tired?) in addition to well monitored drug therapy are spot on if the son is a willing participant. At this age short of sitting on him and shoving a pill down his throat he needs to be a participant. Perhaps some of our jibe posters are young and part of this culture.</p>

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<p>Do I think they are over prescribed, absolutely</p>

<p>It is more accurate to say they are * inaccurately* prescribed. I think that conditions that can be helped by stimulant medication & cognitive therapy are * under*diagnosed, but I would agree that there is a slim % of the population that finds their way to physicians who are quick to write scrip for whatever the patient wants, whether it be antibiotics for a cold or ritalin so they can stay up later.</p>

<p>Sleep is also something to look at, if you are tired all the time, if you aren’t getting good sleep, you aren’t going to be able to function well during the day. This can be true even if you go to bed at a reasonable hour.</p>

<p>Additionally many high schools start very early- 7:30 is not an optimum time for a physics class but that was my daughter’s schedule. They have found that teens have a sleep cycle where they work best if they stay up later and sleep in, but that isn’t how many high schools operate.</p>

<p>However ,since OP notes that son has most difficulties with after lunch classes, that really seems to point to diet/blood sugar. Would be interesting if he would even just write down what he eats.</p>

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<p>Testing was done by a Pshchologist. Referred him to the Psycharatrist for meds. Suggested a younger, hipper therapist for counseling, but nothing too concreste there so far. We have not contacted the school because we got the diagnosis in the summer. He has shown symptoms since elementary, but I am not big on meds and felt his academic performance was not affected. Then last year in 9th grade I realized academics was affected. Particularly in the afternoon classes. (first semester D in chemistry; second semester managed a C in Algebra with the help of a tutor.) (He is in some honors classes - has a 2.8 gpa. (got As and Bs in middle school.)The math teacher really was surprized by how innatentive he is. His a little immature, also young for his grade. </p>

<p>Yes, he is acting up in class–he is a distraction to others. One teacher e-mailed me to say his never having a pencil caused a big disruption. I tried to use the parent portal and nag/remind him, but did not necessarily confirm that each homework assignmnet was done. He gets to bed around 9:30 but may read in bed later. Seems to be a kid that needs his sleep. Gets up at 6:30. Has a tendency to low blood sugar. (runs in the family) Likes sweets and not necessarly fruits/veggies, but we don’t eat as much junk as some. (?) (Trying our best.)</p>

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<p>High quality fish oil supplements, regular exercise, increasing protein in the diet and behavioral therapy can help ADHD symptoms and don’t carry the meds stigma. (Studies are easily Googled.) My DD was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive after her junior year. We also do meds (lowest dose of Vyvanse). Fortunately, my DD was relieved to get the diagnosis because she was embarrassed and frustrated with her school performance.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

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<p>I can’t overemphasize the need for the right counselor, one your son clicks with. A good cousellor is your ally and can run some interference for you, work through the meds issues wth him, lighten some of the pressure on you- plus give feedback. At your son’s age, you can confer with the doc, sometimes have joint sessions. Perhaps you do this. Some kids like to think their relationship with the counselor is theirs alone, that they “own” it. That’s something the doc can work through with you. </p>

<p>Can’t tell if you moved to the hipper guy or it was only suggested. Sometimes, it helps to call a local college and ask their health clinic folks whom they recommend (because they deal with a close age group, decision-making and performance.)</p>

<p>Academic and social problems tend to jumble together. Behavior can cause peer issues. Peer issues can cause interruption to any traces of academic commitment. Pulling onesself out of the mess is sometimes inch by inch. We started to break every daunting task into teeny baby steps. Not ask Mr X if you can join the group, but next time you see Mr X, say hello. Often ADHD or similar kids literally don’t “get” what others expect or like or what builds a relationship. (In this respect, some reading on Aspergers can be helpful.) So, how can they see themselves?</p>

<p>Likewise, it’s so important he not feel he is damaged goods- in his own eyes or yours. This is why I said, see what he does do right. See if it’s possible to build on those skills, to use his confidence in those arenas, no matter how small that seems- and use those to enhance your relationship.</p>

<p>I am sorry you’re facing this. Good luck.</p>