17 Year Old going to Toulouse, France---advice?

Parent Cafe
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<p>Hey everyone! I know a lot of the parents know me, so I’d thought I’d ask for some advice. This time it has nothing to do with college!</p>

<p>I will be going to Toulouse France for three weeks in July. I will be there for Bastille day! I will be an upcoming senior and I am living with a host family. This is not an academic program, but simply a home stay. I have never been to Europe! I am going with a program. I have been to a lot of states (Wyoming, Colorado, South Dakota, Montana, Most of the east coast, Ohio, Kentucky, etc), and I’ve taken a cruise to Grand Cayman/Mexico. My parents have never been to Europe; however, my father went to Israel with a program when he was 16 in the 1980’s. My grandfather was born in Sicily and came to America when he was nine. I am half Italian and half Jewish/Eastern European. I am Catholic however. </p>

<p>Anyways, I am in Honors French 2 now. I will be taking Honors French 3 my senior year. I tend to get B +'s in French; however, I usually fail the final. My speaking is quite terrible, lol. I can basically describe myself in French, but I cannot have conversations in French. This def worries me! I am a lot better with writing/conjugating though. I am going for a different cultural experience. They told me they should speak at least a little English. If they do not, I will be playing charades a lot! I am staying with two 17 year old twin brothers. I haven’t contacted them yet, I am suppose to wait for them to contact me. The whole family is super athletic/skinny/blond, they were riding bicycles by a lake in the picture. I am on the swim team, but I am not athletic at all. They did interview me and I told them I wasn’t, so I’m worried they be a little too outdoorsy. I do go hiking in the Georgia Mountains from time to time, but nothing severe. I am not outdoorsy at all. I am the type who rather go to amusement parks and visit tourist attractions. When I show the pictures to friends at school, they all laugh. I am not into art museums much either, but I’m going into this with a open attitude. </p>

<p>They told me that most French families travel a lot, and I should visit more then one area/countries. Spain is not far, and even Geneva/Monaco/Torino aren’t that far by American standards. It takes me 10 hours to get to South Florida from Metro Atlanta. I have grown up in the suburbs of South Florida/Metro Atlanta, so it should be a cultural shock. I really want to visit more countries if possible. What should I expect? I know cities are a lot closer in France. They also live in the city of Toulouse, not the suburbs.</p>

<p>Should I worry about safety? My grandmother honestly thinks something bad will happen. She is very against me going. However, I will be going to college in a year and this should prepare me well for real life. How do the Southern French treat Americans? I know there is a stereotype that the French hate Americans, but how much of that is true? If someone speaks French to me should I just respond in English? I cannot keep a conversation. Do locals speak English?</p>

<p>I am worried about food as well. I am a picky eater, I honestly think I am going to loose weight. What type of food should I wear? How about attire? I was told that the French do not wear shorts. Is this true? All I wear in the summer is shorts, lol. How about alcohol? I know the drinking age is 18, but I was told they will serve wine to me. Should I expect to be offered a lot of alcohol, I know this is France!</p>

<p>I have never been on a flight for so long either. I am flying with a chaperon and with other kids to Paris and then I’m either taking a plane/train to Toulouse. However, I will never see any other American kids during the program. I will only contact the program in case of emergencies. I have flown by myself before, but that’s usually to Florida.</p>

<p>How much spending money should I bring? I was told to bring a credit card, but I want some Euro’s on me. </p>

<p>Are there any main attractions in Toulouse? Any other advice/suggestions appreciated. I am very excited, but a little nervous as well. Thanks!</p>

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<p>My nephew just returned from an academic term in Toulouse, and he loved it. He travelled a lot while he was there; to Paris, Barcelona, French Riviera, and Croatia. Beware of pickpockets, especially in Barcelona, as they are the worst in the world.</p>

<p>He said that the food was great. He also had an easy time getting around, as there was good bus service, and also loaner bicycles that he could use. The only part of town to stay away from is several blocks around Rue Bertran de Born, which is the red light district.</p>

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<p>This sounds like a wonderful trip and a great adventure. While it is normal to worry and wonder, you have nothing to be too concerned about and it will undoubtedly be a great experience. </p>

<p>My guess is that some of most of your host family members speak fairly fluent English. Many Europeans begin English in early grade school, so they are quite fluent by high school. As far as your encounters with non-English speakers - that’s what you are there for - an immersion into the French language. You’ll be at the top of your French class when you return. </p>

<p>I find most French people to be very friendly and eager to help Americans. I’ve never had a single experience of rudeness or anti-Americanism. Most other cultures want to show off and promote their country, and the French are very proud of their country.</p>

<p>French food is fantastic and it’s not all haute cuisine. They make good use of vegetables, fruits and other ingredients, very simply prepared, especially in southern France. In the riviera, there is a strong Italian influence, so you’ll see pastas and pizza. I just cannot imagine anyone not enjoying the food in France!</p>

<p>When we travel to Europe, my sons don’t pack many t-shirts with obviously American logos. They wear polos and more subdued pattern t-shirts. Otherwise, teenagers dress similarly, though perhaps Europeans dress up a bit more - take some collared shirts in case you need them. Shorts, khakis, jeans and more fashionable sneakers or shoes will be fine.</p>

<p>The most important item you should take is a debit card. You can use it at ATMs in all of the countries you visit to obtain euros at the best rate. We always get euros from an ATM at the airport when we arrive, because there is no need to get them ahead of time. Have a parent call the bank prior to your trip to make sure that an extra fee (1%-3%) is not applied to the euro-dollar conversion. If your bank charges a fee, they may negotiate it down or waive it if you make the case that you are a student traveling on a budget.</p>

<p>Have a great trip!</p>

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<p>I would not worry about wearing American brand clothing even with apparent logos. In fact American clothing has a certain amount of cache with the French. We have a few friends in Paris who regularly come visit us in the US to go outlet shopping(American clothing is EXPENSIVE in France–I swear that I could make a fortune selling Levis at 120 EU each in the metro!). Levi’s, American Eagle, Ralph Lauren, Hollister, Gap and Banana Republic are all popular. Anti American sentiment is generally directed at American governmental policy, not American culture or individuals.
Looks like you have plenty of questions that will be answered after a few enjoyable days in France. Have a great time!</p>

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<p>Thanks everyone! I wear mostly Aeropostale, American Eagle, Old Navy, Kohls, etc. I own two polo’s, but I have never liked them. I will probably bring them, but I tend to dress very casually. I hardly own any button down shirts. I never need them! In the summer, I usually wear shorts and t shirts. I also wear a lot of flip flop/sandals in the summer, but I will bring some sneakers. I would like to go to mass at least once in France. How dressy is church in France? </p>

<p>Also, I’ve had friends/family who have been to Paris and they seem to get a different experience. They did encounter some Anti American sentiment. Even the woman who interviewed me said this is true in Paris, but that the rest of France is quite different and I shouldn’t have a problem since I’m not going to Paris. Paris is basically the New York of France. My drama teacher went to Paris during the 2008 election and she said it was Obama-valley. </p>

<p>My biggest concern is not being able to communicate, but I’m sure I will be fine.</p>

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<p>Because I help pack for my kids, I’ve always tried to notice what other young people wear, especially in France and Italy. As a rule, people tend to dress more fashionably there, so if your style is a bit edgier or fashion forward, you should feel very comfortable. Make sure that you pack a good pair of walking shoes; flip flops won’t cut it on hilly cobblestone pathways and while hiking. I do avoid clothing that it obviously American because we prefer to blend in. I don’t think it’s to our advantage to look like tourists when walking in the city.</p>

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<p>My daughter worked at a summer art program near Toulouse several summers ago that had relocated to Toulouse from another part of France. One thing she had not expected was that it was extremely hot in July so be prepared for that. Toulouse itself was lovely, no problem flying in and out of there to Paris or London, or train to Barcelona. Europe in general is very expensive at the moment, as the exchange rate is heading upward and seems to be around $1.42.</p>

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<p>I am starting this post by saying you should definitely go on the trip. Americans can be very insular and it’s great to have an opportunity to broaden your horizons and meet different people and experience different cultures.</p>

<p>Since it’s the summer time, and most French are getting ready for their August vacation, I expect people will generally be in a good mood…and even people with anti-American sentiments will not give a US teenager a hard time.</p>

<p>However, you should also know that there is a large north African, Arab population in France. </p>

<p>It is possible you will encounter people who are both anti-American and anti-Jewish…so be careful about who you are talking with when noting your Jewish heritage. </p>

<p>You might want to consider this time as a great opportunity to not be such a picky eater, and attempt to try at least 1 spoonful of everything that is offered to you. The French can be very particular about wasting food…so…try to insist on only a small taste at first so that if you don’t like something, they won’t be faced with throwing out your plate full of food. . So…if you really don’t like the food the family is serving you and find yourself famished…try to kindly ask them for something like plain eggs/tuna/pasta/bread – if you’ll eat them – because all are easily available in France, and you’ll get protein and carbs which should give you some nourishment!</p>

<p>Teenagers in France wear shorts.</p>

<p>Have a great trip – and report back to us about your experiences.</p>

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<p>Thanks everyone! The trip is already finalized and everything is payed for. I grew up in South Florida and I tend to go there every summer, so the hotness won’t bother me. I personally thought Wyoming’s dryness was way worse than Florida’s humidity. I will def try new foods in France. However, I know the portions are a lot smaller in Europe. </p>

<p>How late do people in South France usually eat? I’ve heard many different things. I had a friend who went to Paris with the same program and she didn’t eat until 11PM sometimes. I usually eat around 5/6PM here, so it will be a change.</p>

<p>Is there anything I should expect differently in Toulouse? Does it have a lot of Spanish influence? How is it different from Paris and Northern France besides the cuisine/dialect?</p>

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<p>I am very familiar with Toulouse, but am hesitant to answer every one of your questions. The thrill of this kind of trip is discovering the answers on your own. Suffice to say, dinner is usually 8PM, but the main meal is noon to 2:30 or 3:00 approximately, especially if you are living with a French family. You will be served wine with meals and if you don’t want it, feel free to decline. If you like, you can have a little with meals. While French women don’t wear shorts in a city, they do wear them at or near a beach or resort. In any event, you aren’t French. You are American and can dress as you like. Skirts are popular instead of shorts. Have a wonderful time!</p>

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<p>Thanks Vitrac! I am a guy, so I won’t be wearing skirts.</p>

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<p>oops, sorry Early! Not that there’s anything wrong with it!</p>

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<p>Don’t worry about anti-American sentiment… As a French friend says, ‘it’s not that the Parisians don’t like Americans…Parisians don’t like <em>anybody</em> including other French people.’ My S-I-L spent a semester in Toulouse 30 years ago and still has close friends there so I think they are friendly. French will sound different in the south than in your classes; give your ear a little time to adjust. Expect to make mistakes. </p>

<p>Keep a little walking around cash in your pocket. Keep a copy of your passport’s first page with you but leave your passport at the house. Try to write up a blog or keep a notebook so you don’t forget what you have done – the days blur after a while – and if you can post it, grandma might not worry about you. </p>

<p>Say ‘bonjour’ whenever you enter an establishment; it is rude not to do so. A big smile goes a long way. If you can find shorts that reach your knees and Topsiders, you will look fine. Go a bit more prep…it passes muster anywhere. Pack less than you expect to need; do bring a pair of long pants (khaki chinos, say) for church. Take your dress cues from the brothers. </p>

<p>Bring a gift, nothing too fancy/expensive, for the guest-mother. Offer to help with the dishes, esp. as not everyone in France has a dishwashing machine. Expect the living quarters to be smaller than you are used to. Taste everything…esp. the chocolate croissants! Expect wine with meals. </p>

<p>Let your motto be ‘yes, I will’. Yes, I will try that. Yes, I will go there. Yes, I will be a part of this. </p>

<p>I envy you.</p>

14

<p>I haven’t been to Toulouse, but I have visited southern France (mostly Marseille) many times on business trips.</p>

<p>You won’t encounter very much if any anti-American rudeness. Heck, I’ve never even been treated rudely in Paris. In my experience, the French seem about as friendly, helpful, and polite as anybody.</p>

<p>In the south of France once you get off the beaten tourist path you won’t find all that many who can speak good English. But you can almost always figure out how to get by.</p>

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<p>Except in the evening. After about 6:00 PM you switch to saying “Bon soir.” But Novelisto is right. You should never walk up to someone, say a clerk behind the counter, and just start asking questions. Always greet them first with "bon jour or “bon soir.”</p>

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<p>Don’t wear any food at all. Just wear clothing. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist).
But picky eater or no, the food in France is great. Things that routinely taste much better in France that what we get in the US: bread, croissants, quiche, crepes, many fish dishes. Pizza is about a toss-up.</p>

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<p>There’s a book called Postcards from France by Megan McNeil Libby that you might like. It’s out of print now, but look in your library. She sent little articles home to her hometown newspaper during a year’s stay in France, which were made into her book. There are lots of things in the book that might help you. </p>

<p>Manners are very important in France, so try to be very polite. I think you need to add madame or monsieur after your greeting: Bonjour, madame or monsieur. </p>

<p>As long as you are polite and helpful and grateful for what they do for you or offer you, they will not judge you if you are not athletic or just like them. They are offering to host you as a cultural experience for their family. Just try to be a polite and helpful visitor. Maybe you could memorize a couple of polite phrases in French so you won’t have to worry about forgetting when you get there. Get a little French phrase book to help you too. </p>

<p>You are lucky to have the opportunity to visit France!</p>

16

<p>We will be getting the whole family gifts from America. I will be polite, but I’m sure there are other mannerisms which are different. I will fine out once I’m there. Thanks for the great advice everyone!</p>

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<p>Hey everyone. My Toulouse family canceled, so they had to fine me a new family. My new family is located in Northern Normandy. I will be going to Brittany first along the coast for a week and then back to the family home in Normandy for two weeks. Is there any new advice I should know about these regions? Is the water cold/rough in Brittany? How far is the nearest country from Northern Normandy? Thanks!</p>

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<p>My advice is just to go for it. You’ve got nothing Toulouse!</p>

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<p>^ You mean Normandy now lol</p>

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<p>Hello, just wanted to give everyone an update. I ended up going to Brittany and Picardy, France not Toulouse b/c my family canceled. I’ll just copy and paste what I wrote on another thread… </p>

<p>France was a complete disaster. At first, I was suppose to go to South France (Toulouse) but my family had to cancel because they were moving. They ended up finding me a family at the last minute. The family and I had zero interests, it was a terrible fit. The family lived in a small village of 99 people in Picardy (2 hours north of Paris), but the first week and a half I was in Brittany by Carnac. Their grandfather had a vacation home. The father picked me up at the airport because he wasn’t going to Brittany and he brought me to the train station. At first, I wasn’t going to have a chaperon, but then they told my parents someone was going with me on the train. Well no one ever did. We were racing to make this TGV bullet train. He didn’t even let me call my parents to tell them I arrived b/c he had a meeting to go in the city. As soon as I got on the train, it started moving and I had no idea what to do. He never told me I had an assign seat as normal trains in France had open seating. I had taken 2 years of French before going, but I could only describe myself in French and not have conversations. I cannot even understand anything in French. My teacher stopped teaching us speaking after first semester of French I. French has always been more about grammar and writing in my school. I did receive a 95% last semester of French of this year, but it was just because my teacher was easier. </p>

<p>The TGV was 3 and a half hours. No one spoke English. A nice mid 30 year old Frenchmen helped me to my seat as one could tell easily I was a foreigner. All I knew was that is was the 5th stop. I could not fall asleep because I could easily miss my stop and then I would be screwed. I never slept on the plane or anything because I could not fall asleep. When I got there, I met the kids. They were all boys: 16, 15, and 11. I was a year older.</p>

<p>In Brittany, the mother and the younger brother and his friend lived in a flat while I lived with the two brothers, 16 year old cousin, and friend in a town house. The mother never checked on me ever. She could not even speak English. The 16 year old host student and his cousin spoke good English, but no one else did. The father spoke good English as well. He told me I had a “horrific American accent the first day I met him.” As soon as I got to their townhouse, the kids asked me what I thought of a song which was about getting high and drunk. I do not drink or do drugs, so I was def startled. I cried the first night. I was very overwhelmed and it was just a bad fit. I tend to get along better with girls as well, they almost gave me a family in Lyon with 9 brothers but I told them I like girls better. </p>

<p>The French teenagers were very perverted to say the least. They were playing with themselves in front of me the very first day. All they did was talk about sex as well. The cousin told me he wanted to sleep with all the women in the world, but in different words to say the least. They smoked weed, cigarettes, and hookah. They drank a lot of everything, except beer. God, I will never drink whine ever again. Each day they went to the beach and tried to find girls, but who were 13-15 years old. It was awkward to say the least as those our children who are my younger brother and cousins age. At night, they would go to the beach and smoke weed and drink with the new girls they met that day. I had never even seen weed before going to France. I have friends who smoke it, but I never put myself in situations where I would be in the same room as people smoking it. I am pretty liberal, but I have conservative beliefs about drugs in general. All the teenagers smoked cigarettes in France. I never felt so alone in France in my life, all they did was ignore me at night when they drank/smoke. They would sit in a circle and just pass the vodka/whine around and the blunts. Even the 15 year old brother was smoking. They kept on pressuring me to do it, I felt very uncomfortable. They went skinny dipping in the ocean as well. I did do some things I shouldn’t have, but I don’t live my life with regrets. I wanted to tell the organizer of the company, but I didn’t want to get the kids in trouble. The cousin who supplied the weed said that his parents would hang him from his balls if they found out he smoked.</p>

<p>The family was a super conservative, elitist family. The kids would get drunk and go to mass the next morning which was personally frustrating and a slap in the face to God. A drunk French kid told me he wanted to ***** on the American Flag. It was very anti-american the whole time, the stereotypes were very true. They thought France could beat America in a war, ■■■■■. They thought I was shy at first when I am quite the contrary in my normal setting. The kid went to a private boarding Catholic high school in Rouen. They looked down upon public school kids like myself and the middle class. They lived in a mansion which was hundreds of years old. The Nazi’s lived there during WW2. They had very different ideas about the Nazis, which I took offense to. When we went back to their home there was nothing to do. When we went to the Omaha Beach, the father said every tombstone should have crosses and that there shouldn’t be any Jewish stars of David at the American cemetery. They knew I was half Jewish. His grandfather was racist and the kid admitted it to me. Mass was exactly the same, but in French. I saw no holy water or kneeling though. I went to church twice in France, but I went for the culture experience. I haven’t been to mass in America since my confirmation in May, 2010. </p>

<p>I did get to see actual WW1 trenches at a Canadian memorial. I saw a lot of English cemeteries from WW1 as well. I took the train with the kid and we went to Paris/Versailles by ourselves. I know there not as safety cautious as Americans. My mother would never let me go to NYC by myself. I really didn’t see as much as the other kids who went to other countries and traveled all over France. They had a much better time. I had no internet access even though I brought my laptop in Brittany. The kids cooked and cleaned, but were still very immature. The kids hobbies were hunting and surfing, we were complete opposites. The French were very big on their WW1 victory. There were English memorials in every village. However, I felt as though there wasn’t much compassion towards French Jews. </p>

<p>I went bike riding with the kids one day and they left me and I got lost in the middle of no where. I was told I was stupid many times. I didn’t know any European presidents and the father was like “My 11 year old knows all of them.” The brother denied me on facebook. I added one French girl who I met and she made fun of my all over her wall. It was disgusting to look at. I tried to hug the 11 year old goodbye and he said he hated me. Outside of Paris, no one spoke English. My French never improved because I never even had the basis of the language to begin with. I met some nice English girls at the beach in Brittany who were my age and a 5 year old English boy who I babysat for his nanny. I met some nice Germans who spoke much better English then the French. I feel as though some people have that foreign language skill and I don’t have it. I met two nice French girls, everyone else was very rude to me. I felt if I was a girl I probably would have been liked more. I saw no Americans for the most part except for in Paris. I saw Harry Potter in France with no English subtitles which was quite the experience. They use sugar instead of salt/butter. All they eat is Nutella and they don’t eat peanut butter. The food was TERRIBLE. I lost 6 pounds while I was in France. I was very hungry most of the time. The guys would all drink out of the same liter of coke, it was discusting! </p>

<p>Overall, I hated my France trip. I will never step foot in that country again. My parents had never even been to Europe even though my grandfather was born in Sicily. I saved up all my money and my Christmas/b-day gift to go there and it was just atrocious. I was very polite and nice to the whole family. I should have tried and spoke more French, but like I said earlier, I had no understanding of it what so ever. I know not all French are like my host family, but I would still never go back after this experience. When I cleaned for them, all they did was make fun of my work and make me do it over and over again. I tried to go in the program with not expecting anything because I do tend to have high standards, but there is nothing else I could have done differently. I was really looking forward to it because I spent so much time and energy into this program. The kid was never coming back to America, it was just a one way thing. I would die if I had to spend another 3 weeks with him.</p>