Recently my boyfriend and i have been talking about moving in together in the Dayton, Fairborn, Kettering area. We both will be going to college he will be attending Sinclair Community college for some classes and I will be attending WSU.
My mom is 100% against me moving in with my boyfriend and frankly I’m unsure. I want to make both of them happy. I promised my boyfriend I would and I don’t want to break the promise but I don’t want to upset my mom either
I’ve calculated the expenses if we were both making $10 at 30hrs per week it didn’t look like much of a struggle, but I’m not sure how working 30 hours and being a full time student would work out. being at school then work im not sure how much of each other we would see just to maintain an apartment. everyone says it wouldn’t work and we shouldn’t do it and it would ruin our relationship. I don’t want that to happen. I would love to live with my boyfriend, pay bills effectively & stay in a healthy relationship, all the while maintaining my school work. Should I try it or live in a dorm?
please reply… feedback pleaseee
Does your school require freshmen to live on campus?
Will forfeiting housing now make it harder to get housing in future years, if/when you break up?
Consider school a full-time job. Do you have time for a full-time job and a 3/4-full time job?
What would your commute be like? Will it be long enough that you’d be likely to skip class? Will you lose study/work time in transit?
School is a 4-year intense experience that revolves around the student experience and providing everything needed for the student to thrive and make decisions and meet others who will be future colleagues. $10/hr jobs are not. I would advocate getting your head completely in school. If you want to go out with a boyfriend who is a student at another college, that’s fine. But make your community WSU, not coworkers and neighbors in “the real world”.
I would rather you stay out of college and just work, than try to balance the various communities and demands and “realities”. The problem with that, though, is that life starts to take on its own path, and the path back to college when you are older is much more difficult.
Why not commit to the dorms and the university for Freshman year, and revisit moving in together at the beginning of Sophomore year? You can still go out together without living together, and it gives you a chance to adjust and adapt to studies and have a place to be during crunch time near exams, while still allowing the freedom to be with your boyfriend when you both have time. You need to define yourself separate from your family and from your boyfriend right now.
If he really loves you, he won’t say no if you say you don’t want to live together now. Focus on college. 20 hours per week and college is doable. 30 not so much. And trust me, that looks like enough money but when you are paying all of the expense, you will run out of money before month. The stress will affect your relationship with your boyfriend and college.
Agree with @ItsJustSchool and @Sportsman88 : Especially your first year, your focus needs to be on school and not on a 30 hour/week job. You need to see exactly how much time college will take outside of class before you take that sort of commitment. And, do you realize how much of that $10/hour will vanish in taxes? Don’t do it.
30 hours/week is a lot of work. I agree with 20 as a good limit.