<p>^I wonder if those two made a different impression on the folks who took them in.</p>
<p>You need to verify the story. Just because she said she was kicked out does not mean this is what happened. It could be true that she has unreasonable or mean parents. Or she could by relating it through her own bias, and refuses to follow her parents’ rules.</p>
<p>You need to know the truth.</p>
<p>If she has abusive or otherwise ill-equipped parents, how is calling them to verify the girl’s story going to work? They’re not going to say “Yep, we beat her but we kicked her out because we just like the child we had together better.” To 'prove" she is being truthful, what independent source do you tap?</p>
<p>My first question would be why she can’t stay with a same gender friend or another family member. In my experience, it is entirely too easy for an older girl to manipulate a younger guy, and I’m sure he isn’t able to see it. Whatever the trouble is, I don’t blame you for wanting to protect your son from being involved. Friendship is one thing, being used is another.</p>
<p>I’ll just echo previous posters’ sentiments that I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that she has taken actions to deserve being kicked out. It certainly could be a case of dishonesty or truth-bending - it would not surprise me at all if when they sister ran away, she told people that she had been kicked out, for instance, because that’s how she was at the time. </p>
<p>That said my mom at one point took in a friend of my brother’s who was kicked of his house because a cigarette hole was found in the shower curtain - IIRC, he wasn’t the only smoker in the house. He was an incredibly pleasant guy, lived with us for a long time, and honestly we were sad when he moved out because he was such good company. I guess maybe people have different sides but I have a hard time imagining this guy having done something egregious enough to get kicked out.</p>
<p>Update, girl is staying with her grandmother. I think there was pre-college tension that escalated. Red Alert over!</p>
<p>Thanks for letting us know, OP. Sounds like a MUCH better solution for all concerned.</p>
<p>Regarding the age difference: I would just keep parenting a 16 year old. And, in your mind, make decisions as if the girl were also 16. You would not take-in a 16 year old, you would send her home to her parents. Most of all: her-older-kid-problems should not be part of your son’s life. It’s a burden he does not need to bare. And I think you (still) have some power here.</p>
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lol, probably not what he’s looking to bare 
I think that would depend on the situation. In general.</p>
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<p>Not necessarily.</p>
<p>If there was a possibility that she was being abused, or if the parents really had kicked her out, some people might consider taking her in temporarily, until other arrangements could be made, rather than returning her to a dangerous situation or dumping her into the foster care system.</p>
<p>An 18-year-old who is not financially independent is in an even worse situation because he/she doesn’t have access to the foster care system. The 18-year-old, if healthy and a high school graduate, does have the option of enlisting in the military, but this is a long-term solution to what may be a short-term problem.</p>
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<p>We took in a 16 year old and a 17 year old (my ex). The 16 year old’s dad was in prison, mom was abusive, and stepdad was an alcoholic. She lived with us for 2 months before her mom bothered to call and see where she was.
The 17 year old was kicked out by his drug addict dad a week before Christmas. He stayed with us for a month or so until we found other arrangements. </p>
<p>People are so quick to paint everything with a broad brush.</p>