I also think that a traumatic event is unlikely to make a good essay topic. I think essays about problems are only good if the writer herself somehow significantly overcame the problem. I don’t think it’s enough that it made her realize the importance of family, or patriotism, or whatever it might be.
For what it’s worth, I think it’d be kind of cool to have 2 people write about the same experience…but seen through different eyes…I’d put one sentence in ( ) at the beginning or end and say something like 'If you see this essay topic again, you’re not imagining it. My twin sister is covering the same topic!"
Faulkner did it in the Sound and the Fury. Your twins can likely get away with it too. 
When I first read that they were writing about the same event I assumed it was a shared family event, but nothing in the responses seems to indicate that. If it was a traumatic family event, I don’t see how one twin can claim dibs. But if it was a shared event from school or otherwise outside the family then it will look strange to have the two of them write about the same thing. They want to look like different people, not carbon copies of each other, and picking the same topic will not leave a good impression. I think sharing the topic as others have proposed sounds good.
If they are mentioning in their essays that both twins went thru this, then why can’t they both write “their story” from "their perspective?
If they’re not reading each other’s versions, then their stories shouldn’t match. However, they need to be sure to mention in their essays that both twins went thru this, otherwise the readers could think something strange is up.
Think about it…suppose the Life Event was losing everything in a house fire. Certainly no one would expect that only one family member was affected by that. So, no one would be shocked to hear each person’s version. That’s not copying.
Besides, schools have more than one reader. Chances are, the same reader won’t be reading both twins’ essays.
But, if both writing and submitting to the same schools is a continued issue, then each twin can submit to one of the shared schools.
Frankly, it sounds like only Twin#1 cares. If so, then it’s her decision to submit or rewrite something else.
The idea of “calling dibs” is not fair.
[QUOTE=""]
Stay out of it. It's between the twins and you do not want to take sides. So what if one confided and went to her teacher? She doesn,t own an event that happened to both of them.
[/QUOTE]
^ This. It’s not unusual for one twin to be the more “aggressive one”. That doesn’t mean she gets “dibs” on a shared life event.
I can see the concern but you can’t take sides. If it were me, I’d suggest they talk to each other as well as EACH write a second essay on a different topic. If in the end, they both feel this original essay expresses them the best, well, then they both have the right to send it. If the twin that brought this up doesn’t like it, well, then she can use the back-up essay. The extra work of a second essay is unlikely to be a waste as many colleges have multiple writing passages to do these days. The unused essay could likely be re-worked for another application.
It’s not actually a dilemma, because one sibling, twin or not, doesn’t get to dictate what the other will write about, where they apply to school, what they will study, or where they will eventually live and work. I would think that in this case, the fact that it’s a shared trauma and their being twins is a key part of the story that the essay will address. That should make it easy enough to the ad coms to understand why both chose the topic, if they stick to it. It’s also unlikely that despite being twins, that they will write about the trauma in the exact same way, and as others have pointed out, it’s really about the writing, not the event anyway.
You never should have gotten involved. I learned long ago to let my kids work out their own petty differences.
A final thought-two of my closest friends in HS were twins.They argued a lot at that age, but were actually pretty close. They deliberately chose different colleges to cement their individual identities, but ended up choosing the exact same major. They became each other’s biggest cheerleaders. One of them passed away quite suddenly age the age of 50. Her sister misses her every day and doesn’t really give much thought to her sister choosing the same profession. It would be pretty heartbreaking of D1 and D2 in your case have a nasty split over something that really doesn’t matter in the long run.
I trully appreciate everyone’s response. I would prefer not to divulge detailed info. But as a mother of 2 girls who have been attacked by the same person in their sleep (& what are the odds of this?), it’s been a very difficult 1.5yr.and a seemingly long healing process. I would not want to relive this anymore so I told them that I am not comfortable using it in their essay but after discussions with their Therapist I understood that this process is cathartic. I agree that I cannot take it away from them, as it has affected us(parents) /them/ our family in such a big way. DD2 kept to hereself that she is writing about it while DD1 has told me long before. This is not quite a ‘shared’ trauma but the steps taken towards healing is very much alike.
Best to you daughters in their recovery and college search.
I actually like SouthernHope’s idea of the sentence that mentions the twin’s essay, and it could be a great way to bring attention to a unique, though shared, experience. If I were an admissions officer reading endless ‘I lost the being game’ or ‘my grandmother died on my birthday’ essays, I would like to read how two people went through the exact same experience and see it differently. Or the same. Or mixed. Anything but ‘I lost the game but survived.’
Am I crazy for thinking the mom should stay out of this and the twins should just send their materials as is, or make the decision to change the essay independently? Either way, these girls need to work out their relationship and their college applications without mom’s help.
And I wouldn’t assume the topic is bad just because two girls picked it. That’s for the girls and the ad comms to decide.
I can understand that writing about a traumatic experience may be cathartic, but catharsis is not the purpose of a college admissions essay. Obviously this has to be handled diplomatically, but I continue to think this isn’t a good essay topic.
I’m with Hunt on this. I recommend that you get Harry Bauld’s book on writing the college essay and have the kids read it and re-assess. It costs about $10 or less and is easily worth ten times that amount. Also available on Kindle, so you can have it instantly. It can be read in less than two hours, I think.
An essay about an assault -in your own room?- raises a number of questions, especially if it is two separate assaults at different times (I’m getting that impression from your “what are the odds” comment). And the point is that you don’t want the admissions reader’s mind wandering around sorting/speculating through the aspects of that topic that you won’t be able to sufficiently address in the essay itself.
Possibly the topic can be written about in a way that will be “successful”, but I don’t think that is the way to bet.
Good luck.
I also agree with Hunt. Our family went through an extremely traumatic event at the end of summer after my son’s freshman year. The event itself was terrible, but the following 16 months were in many ways even worse. Our family will live with the repercussions of this event forever.
My son didn’t write about this family tragedy as an essay topic. While my son’s situation may have engendered a feeling of sorrow in the AO’s mind, it was not how my son wanted to define/depict himself on his college application. If you would like your daughters to be able to show that they have succeeded despite living through a horrible situation, have the guidance counselor at their school address it. My son’s guidance counselor put a very short note in my son’s report addressing what happened and letting the AO know that my son’s success in the face of such a terrible family tragedy was amazing.
I also think that journaling is cathartic. Your college essay shouldn’t be about catharsis.
Being attacked in their sleep, as traumatic as that was, is NOT the kind of event what college Admins want to read about.
Admins want to find reasons to admit a student, not reasons to feel sorry for their circumstances. .
Sending in essays that refer to those events would be a mistake, UNLESS they have responded to them in some positive way that has helped them and/ or others- for instance- volunteering for a child abuse hotline, or raising awareness of this issue in their community, etc, etc…
Your D’s may be the world’s most gifted writers, but I can’t imagine a scenario where after reading these essays, any of the Adcom’s will be able to focus on all the things that make your girls wonderful and why they’d be a fantastic addition to their campus. I think the focus will be on the trauma and NOT on your D’s work ethic, intellectual gifts, ability to be a good team member or colleague, etc.
Thank you… THANK YOU everyone… I feel more "equipped’ now to have a talk with the girls tonight. I am sharing all your input w/ my husband as well. As the 2 of us can’t agree either on what to do.
It may be that they each need to write an essay about their traumatic events, before they can move on to write essays on other topics. I agree with other commenters, your daughters should write several essays.
There is no harm, and perhaps a great deal of value, in writing the essays. After they’ve written them, though, I would ask them to consider that their applications may be read by people who have never met them. With that in mind, would the overall application paint an accurate picture of the people they are? If they met a stranger for the first time, would they lead off talking about the attacks?
If your family has a good rapport with the girls’ guidance counselor, you should make certain he or she knows enough of the background to handle any calls from colleges, should the girls end up using the essays. Their experiences will likely affect their reactions to different campuses.
<<<
But as a mother of 2 girls who have been attacked by the same person in their sleep (& what are the odds of this?), it’s been a very difficult 1.5yr.and a seemingly long healing process.
[QUOTE=""]
[/QUOTE]
What are the odds of this happening? I bet it’s not that unusual. Someone who has access to the home at night and has an evil intent will attack those who are vulnerable. In many cases, the attacker is a relative, family friend, step-parent or step-sibling.
I don’t think colleges will find it odd at all.
So sorry that your girls went thru this and are still going thru this.
If they want to write about it, that is their decision. I’m guessing that they’re highlighting how they are moving forward after this horrific event.
I can understand it being personally helpful for your daughters to write about what happened to them, however, I’d be concerned that using the essay space for that would result in a lost opportunity to highlight something else. When my son was applying to schools he first decided what image he wanted to present, then he built his app to reflect that. He used his essay to show/expand on things that weren’t covered elsewhere.
I’d be concerned that trying to control whether or not D2 is allowed to write about the incident could have emotional repercussions. I would imagine she felt a loss of control due to the incident itself. I wouldn’t permit anyone to take the control of where, when, how, and with whom she shares information about it from her. As a parent, I would advise her about which situations it may be to her benefit to dosclose it and which ones the disclosure may be detrimental to her.
Have you read their essays? Are they focused on triumph over tragedy? Are their entire essays devoted to that one topic? I don’t know how long the Common App essay is allowed to be, but is it possible that their incidents be only a portion of their essays?
If their stories are focused on “woe is me,” then that probably isn’t a great topic.
I’m not being insensitive, I promise you… I was an assault victim at age 4.