<p>“There’s no punishment for this that will cure anything. Jailing the mother won’t make other mothers pay more attention to their kids. Nothing will bring back this poor child.”</p>
<p>I absolutely agree, MomOFour. There are two legitimate purposes for legal consequences: deterrence and rehabilitation. How will either of these be accomplished in this situation? Aren’t the logical consequences more than enough? This woman will never get over this.</p>
<p>Yes, I saw that she is from a state without a law for this - which is tragic in and of itself - and also one of the reasons that she is not and probably shouldn’t be facing any prosecution. If she lived elsewhere, I think a bigger case could have been made for reckless endangerment, based on the fact that she was already warned several times about leaving the child alone in the car and the fact that she did so again at the donut shop. Even then, based on what I know of this case, she’s been punished enough for a lifetime.</p>
<p>It really should go to intent. Let them crack down in a big way on this on the other end -to penalize those (of any socioeconomic status) who intentionally leave a child alone in the car. The states that do not currently have laws like this in place should pass them.</p>
<p>I hadn’t heard that the number of these deaths has increased since the car seats are no longer allowed in the front. I know that that law has also saved lives (accidents, air bag injuries), but that is really sad, nevertheless. :(</p>
<p>Annudduhmom: </p>
<p>Interesting you brought up the Maddy McCann case because I was quite flabbergasted by the parents’ behavior when the case first broke. They leave a three year old alone with baby twins in a hotel room, ground floor no less, in a foreign country and go out to dinner. Supposedly, one of the parents went to check on them every half hour or so. Such parental casualness, I’ll admit, was unfathomable to me. </p>
<p>It reminded me of an incident when S1 was about a year old and we were living abroad. There were two other expat couples we knew who had children the same age and one weekend we all went for a weekend long outing. All six adults were eating dinner together at the hotel restaurant when the captain came to our table to report a baby had been crying, screaming actually, in one of the rooms for the past 20 minutes and did anyone know anything about this… After the couple left to see to their baby, the other four of us just sat there with our jaws open. They had left their year-old son alone, in a travel crib, in a strange hotel room, thinking he would just go to sleep, stay asleep, and be fine. This happened to be in Kenya, where excellent nannies were very inexpensive and we and the other couple had brought our “ayahs” with us. We both offerred to have their child stay in our room with someone to watch/hold him until dinner was over. What amazed me was that the couple was not even embarrassed to have made such an insensitive and boneheaded decision. </p>
<p>Then I read about the McCann story and wondered if there is a fashionable casualness about childraising among the Brits — the moms not wanting to seem like overprotective hoverers even in regard to the little ones. What’s the take in the UK on this?</p>
<p>McCann update</p>
<p><a href=“HuffPost - Breaking News, U.S. and World News | HuffPost”>HuffPost - Breaking News, U.S. and World News | HuffPost;
<p>PRAIA DA LUZ, Portugal — In a shocking twist, the mother of a 4-year-old British girl missing since May was named a suspect and called in for questioning Friday by police along with the child’s father, after traces of blood were found in their rental car. The girl’s aunt said police suggested Madeleine McCann might have been killed accidentally and offered the mother a plea deal if she confessed.</p>
<p>Kate McCann was questioned for more than four hours in a second straight day of interrogation into the disappearance of Madeleine in southern Portugal.</p>
<p>Her husband, Gerry McCann, followed her into the police station in the southern Portuguese town of Portimao for a separate round of questioning. Friends and relatives said the mother told them she had been named a formal suspect and was offered a deal if she confessed, and that Gerry McCann was told he would likely also be named a suspect.</p>
<p>“They tried to get her to confess to having accidentally killed Madeleine by offering her a deal through her lawyer _ ‘If you say you killed Madeleine by accident and then hid her and disposed of the body, then we can guarantee you a two-year jail sentence or even less,’” Gerry McCann’s sister, Philomena, told ITV news.</p>
<p>A police spokesman, Olegario Sousa, confirmed to The Associated Press that police had named a new suspect, but would not say it was Mrs. McCann. He cited privacy laws in declining to comment further.</p>
<p>The couple strenuously professed their innocence Friday.</p>
<p>The day’s developments marked a dramatic turn in a case that has pulled at the world’s heartstrings for months, ever since Mrs. McCann ran screaming from a hotel room saying her daughter had disappeared. The McCanns, both doctors from central England, said they were dining at the time in a hotel restaurant, but returned frequently to check on Madeleine and her twin 2-year-old siblings.</p>
<p>Since then, the McCanns have toured Europe with photos of Madeleine and the child’s stuffed animals and clothing, even meeting with Pope Benedict XVI at the Vatican. Celebrities including J.K. Rowling and David Beckham made public appeals that helped the family raise more than $2 million.</p>
<p>The money, controlled by an independent auditor, is meant for charities that aid in missing children cases.</p>
<p>Until Friday, suspicion had focused on a British man who lived near the hotel from which Madeleine disappeared and who was the only formal suspect. But police said new forensic tests done on evidence gathered months after the girl vanished found traces of blood in the couple’s car, according to Justine McGuinness, a spokeswoman for the family.</p>
<p>The new evidence _ including the traces of blood missed in earlier forensic tests _ was uncovered by sniffer dogs brought from Britain.</p>
<p>McGuinness said the police allegations against Mrs. McCann didn’t add up, since the rental car had not been acquired until 25 days after Madeleine’s May 3 disappearance. Gerry McCann called the allegations against his wife “ludicrous.”</p>
<p>“We will fight this all the way, and we will not stop looking for Madeleine,” he wrote on the couple’s Web site on Friday.</p>
<p>Even as public opinion reeled from the new allegations, there was fresh criticism of police for taking so long to build their case.</p>
<p>John Corner, a McCann family friend, told the British Broadcasting Corp. that the listing of Mrs. McCann as a suspect gave him “an uncomfortable feeling that the police are not looking outward” for Madeleine’s abductor.</p>
<p>But Sonya Sceats, an international law analyst at London’s Chatham House think tank, said police were allowing the evidence to lead their investigation.</p>
<p>“It’s all turned on the DNA evidence. It only became available very recently, and they are moving in response to that,” Sceats said by phone.</p>
<p>Under Portuguese law, formal suspects gain certain legal protections, but police also have more latitude to question them. Police also have to show suspects any evidence against them.</p>
<p>Clarence Mitchell, a family friend and former spokesman for the McCanns, said Friday after speaking with Mrs. McCann that she found the police questioning _ which included an 11-hour session Thursday _ “grueling.”</p>
<p>“It’s very intense, but she’s remaining strong and determined to prove that they had nothing to do with their daughter’s disappearance and they are innocent victims of the crime,” he told the AP.</p>
<p>Asked about a plead deal, Mitchell said: “It is my understanding that during the police interview with Kate McCann, senior police officers told her lawyer that that if she were to confess to killing Madeleine accidentally it would help her case when she came before the judges for sentencing and that they would probably consider a relatively short sentence of three to four years _ in other words, a plea bargain.”</p>
<p>The McCanns’ cause, and the couple’s apparent strength in the face of adversity, has hit a nerve among millions, who have followed their lives as they cared for their two other children and went to church in Praia da Luz, the seaside town where Madeleine disappeared, and where they have stayed ever since. Photographs of the bright-eyed, fair-haired girl have been posted throughout the world.</p>
<p>The publicity has helped lead to numerous reported sightings of the girl, from as far away as northern Europe and Morocco, amid speculation she might have been taken by an international pedophile ring.</p>
<p>Just after Mrs. McCann entered the police station Thursday, another family representative read out a statement from her appealing to what she called Madeleine’s abductors to “do the right thing.”</p>
<p>“It is not too late. Please let her go or call the police,” she said.</p>
<p>The only formal suspect until now has been Robert Murat, who lives with his mother near the hotel from which the girl disappeared. He has always maintained his innocence. Sousa said Murat’s status as a suspect had not changed.</p>
<p>jazzy, I have several friends, both ‘natives’ and ex-pats, who have lived in the UK and have never heard of anyone thinking that this type of non-childcare arrangement is anything less than negligent, and certainly not the norm. I remember reading an article when this first happened and the sister of the mom involved stating that this couple had had real trouble conceiving and, as a result, did not feel comfortable leaving their babies with a sitter! How absurd! Of course, they had no qualms about leaving them all alone in a hotel room but a sitter? Far too risky. The behavior of some people just makes me shake my head in amazement.</p>
<p>It is not about “cure” it is about stopping</p>
<p>this mom had left her kid before</p>
<p>seems everyone has excuses for her. </p>
<p>I can’t even imagine not thinking about my baby ALL DAY</p>
<p>I go back and forth. On one hand, it’s hard to imagine how. On the other hand, I always feel like there’s too much that everyone on earth except that one person could never know. I don’t know what these people were thinking or what they’re feeling or why they did what they did. But I think you’ll find that most people don’t want to directly have a hand in their child’s death. Less people maybe, than the prevalence of these situations would suggest. And so I have to believe on some level, that it’s something that went horribly wrong and could have been prevented, but not something I’m in the position to judge. </p>
<p>That’s different than saying we shouldn’t condemn the decisions independent of the person. But obviously people who seem to in other respects be capable of meaningful human interaction, people who were not ill-intentioned, find themselves in these situations. And they probably didn’t one day sit there going “wow, someday I think I’m going to be THAT person.” This is not like a predictable thing that this individual aspired to while the rest of us sat there going “not me no way.” That just doesn’t make sense to me I guess.</p>
<p>Running with scissors is dangerous. Inability to assess risk. They don’t seek to avoid the situation.
.</p>
<p>Leaving your child on other occasions alone in the car shows poor judgement and negligence.
The focus of my day when I worked or stayed home was my children. It is pure crap that people play this forgetfullness card. It shows that their priority is not their child. The child is totally dependent upon that mother and her actions led to her death.<br>
Yes, the mother is grieving. But it is still this child’s life and I believe there should be punishment. If someone makes the “mistake” of driving drunk and killing their child, they should be punished as this woman should.
If you can’t remember to take your child to daycare, then there is something seriously wrong with you. You will never convince me otherwise.
My children are my first responsibility, mothers and fathers MUST remember their children, there is no excuse for forgetting.</p>
<p>Keymom; when my kids were little, gas stations didn’t have credit card swipers and you had to pay for the gas inside the station. Negligent or not, many times I instructed my mature-for-her-age 4 year-old (strapped in her child seat) to entertain her baby brother (strapped in his childseat), while I left the locked car and ran in to pay for the gas. It was a calculated risk; we all take some risks with our kids. (And I am considered an overly-protective mom by most!)
In regards to the parents in this and other similar cases; HAVE SOME COMPASSION! This tragedy occurs due to two things: airbags make it dangerous to put kids in the front seat. And out-of-sight sleeping /quiet babies plus distracted parents can cause tragedy. Why punish the poor parents who have to live with the death of their child? There but for the grace of God go I (and you!)</p>
<p>Kluge, I agree with your post #54. Well said. And anxiousmom, I agree. I’m sure the mother is devastated and that it was not intentional.</p>
<p>The story that occurred in St. Louis a couple of weeks ago was the result of two parents rushing around trying to combine child care with busy jobs. Both parents were under the impression the other parent had taken the child to the daycare center. (Parent 1, the Wash U. doctor, ran out of time to drop child at worksite daycare before her meeting; she called parent 2, a medical researcher at Wash U, to meet her, drop the child at daycare, and park the car. Dad missed the middle part of the instructions, and didn’t see the child in the back seat when he parked the car). The mistake here was two parents who rushed around like headless chickens, with their child lower on the priority scale than getting to a meeting on time. Inexcusable, but par for the course in a world in which children are just one more responsibility among all the others.</p>
<p>In the Cincinnati case, mother knew she had the child in the morning, and husband had nothing to do with it. If she had thought about her child at any time during the day, she would have realized the child was in the car. The mistake in this case is that the mother didn’t even think about her child during the entire course of the day. That is even less excusable than the St. Louis case.</p>
<p>Child-rearing is hard, hard, hard. Endless sacrifices are required. Accidents will happen, but the chances of them happening are greatly increased when parents think they can just wrap the kids’ needs around their own schedules, instead of the other way around. </p>
<p>I am tempted to yell “Prosecute!”, but I would hate to be on the real jury, because I believe this woman was just doing what many others do every day: treating the kids like just one more thing to check off the to-do list. </p>
<p>And yes, I did lose one of mine in a shopping center. Those were easily the worse 5 minutes of my life, and 14 years later, I still have guilty visions of the poor little guy standing all by himself with a scared look on his face in front of a dept. store entrance. But I don’t think that is the same thing as forgetting that my kid is in a car with me.</p>
<p>If your child is the most important thing in your day you will not forget them in the car like an extra gallon of milk you forget in the grocery cart.
My children (now 21-15) were all in the backseat even before airbags. To say because they are not up front with you they could be forgotten is ludicrous!!!
I had a newborn and a 15month old and I had to get one son to morning preschool and another to afternoon kindergarten. The whole gang got out of the car each and every trip as I walked their brother in to school. In Wisconsin winter too!!!</p>
<p>I think it is up to the legal system to determine this case. Yesterday I spent a whole morning in a hotel room waiting for DH. Was sick of my book and very tired from a bad night’s sleep. I saw this poor mother sobbing in the police station countless times, then the McCann case with the media speculating ridiculously with no official statement out yet. Various “experts” with no connection to either case giving their opinion. Then, the worst yet, a young college girl interviewed on all the major media about her skimpy outfit that Southwest thought was in appropriate.<br>
The highlight of that one was Matt Lauer tiptoeing around the question of whether her outfit was giving everyone walking up the aisle a full crotch shot.
She is now, of course, going to sue Southwest.</p>
<p>Back to this topic. When my son was in elementary school, I would take him to school and then my daughter to preschool. I had a very stressful part time job and a travelling husband. Often I was operating on little sleep. She was very quiet in the car. On more than one occassion I would start to go to my job after the elementary school. She would pipe up “Mom, don’t forget to take me to school”.
Nowadays, I am self employed and depending on my day, sometimes take my dog to work. We live in a mild climate, no scorching heat or super cold days. I always drive with his leash around my neck so that when I carry my things into the office first, I will remember to go back for him. I do this because I often get phone calls on the way to work and am talking on the phone when I get there. It is easy to go in and start my day, forgetting to go back for the dog. Especially since I do not take him every day.
So…I can understand how this woman could have forgotten her child was in the car and feel for her. She must have been under a lot of stress to begin with and now she has to live with this the rest of her life. Let the legal system decide what should happen.
All those great parents who have never forgotten their kids should just know that they are good parents and not need someone else’s tragedy to feel superior.</p>
<p>Oh. My. God.</p>
<p>W T F is wrong with people?</p>
<p>wow, we use stress to explain away a whole lot don’t we</p>
<p>I was stressed so I hit my kid
I was stressed so I drank
I was stressed so I forgot about my child and she boiled to death in a car because I didn’t care enough to think about her ALL DAY</p>
<p>for those that say, have compassion, this woman had no compassion for her child, if she did, she would have thought about how her childs day was going, was she eating, sleeping, learning more words, but no, she had to get those donuts and then seems to not have thought about her baby, because if she did, she would have remembered not giving her a kiss goodbye, dropping off her bag of stuff, and chatting with the sitter, a whole series of events that would have occured</p>
<p>she sure rememberd to lock her door, pick up the food, etc</p>
<p>I don’t feel much compassion for this mom sorry, call me cold, but she did this to herself, and any mother I know, and father, would at least once during the day think about how there kids are doing</p>
<p>and yes, when my children were in a co-op program, I was in the parking lot talking to other mom,s and realized I left my phone in the building, so I asked the mom to watch my car while I ran in to get it…well, my clever D, who was in her car seat, reached over and locked the door, my purse was in the front seat…</p>
<p>I was mortified…we got her to unlock the door…and I learned to always have my keys in my pocket…</p>
<p>Yes accidents happen, but to just go, eh, let it go, when this person left her 2 year old to suffer such a horrid death because she forgot for 8 hours is just not right</p>
<p>This wasn’t a momentary lapse, this was a day long not caring about her child, and seems before she had done this on purpose, maybe not as long, but those times it was intentional</p>
<p>I am speechless at the horror of this. Everyone deserves empathy, if not compassion, but I don’t think anything can excuse or even explain this level of lapse except perhaps some organic or neurological disability. Right before my aunt died of brain cancer she behaved this way. Thank goodness none of the consequences were this dire.</p>
<p>Ebeee
Sorry, why was she under such stress??? What was so horrible in her life that she was too stressed to remember her CHILD!? So much of our stress is self created. Do we really need to be working both those jobs? Do we really need to be doing everything that we are? Can we cut back on some things so our children are our priority especially when they are little.
Now if my sister-in -law whose daughter had leukemia and her husband was newly diagnosed with Parkinson’s had forgotten her child in the car, you might convince me that stress was a factor.
Forgetting because you are under the stress of being a working mother is not an excuse
And I don’t need to feel superior, that is not the basis or motivation of my thoughts. It is my feelings of outrage for this poor child.</p>
<p>keymom: I am so sorry about the illnesses of your niece and brother-in-law. It certainly does seem unfair that your sister-in-law was hit by so much. My good thoughts to all of you.</p>
<p>I agree. The child is the victim here. So sad.</p>