2 Year Old Burned to Death Inside Hot Car

Parent Cafe
81

<p>ebeee, would you have gone on all day without giving your child or dog a second thought? not considering them? because you know that if you forgot the dog or child, you would have most likely, as a resonable person would do, thnk about your loved ones periodocally throughout the day and a light would have gone off that you didn’t do something</p>

<p>Would you acceppt from your teen who is supposed to call, oh I forgot, I am stressed…if we let people just forget the really important stuff like this, that is pretty darn scary</p>

<p>next person who hurts their kid can say, oh I forgot, I am soooo busy…I forgot seems to be a mantra…</p>

<p>When my Ds were at their preschool, or with the babysitter or having a play date, I thought about them, what were they doing, were they having fun, were they eating or being picky</p>

<p>That is what I don’t understand and never will, how this “mother” didn’t think about her kid and go UHOH…</p>

82

<p>Why in the world would thinking about her child necessarily automatically trigger an “oh my god, I left her in the car” response? You’re acting as though she hasn’t already gone through the worst punishment possible for a mother. </p>

<p>The woman is most likely going through hell right now, and you are awfully judgmental. She will never get over this, let that be enough.</p>

83

<p>"Let’s be candid: most people in fact don’t call their baby-sitter multiple times a day - I know my wife and I didn’t. Our sitter wouldn’t have called us if we didn’t show one day, either. "
This surprised me. I’ve always called and don’t know a single working mom (I’ve been one all of my parenting life) who doesn’t call multiple times a day.</p>

84

<p>I have so many disparate thoughts about this case:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>When a person is very busy, things can slip completely from one’s memory. I know, how can YOUR KID slip, but that can happen.</p></li>
<li><p>Part of the problem is that the kid is in the back seat. The front seat might be less safe accident-wise, but surely parents wouldn’t forget them as much.</p></li>
<li><p>I have long felt that being a school principal is the toughest job there is (three separate constituencies, teachers, kids and parents to keep happy). Being an assistant principal must be nearly as tough, with thousands of details to keep track of.</p></li>
<li><p>We are probably harder on mothers who make this mistake than on fathers.</p></li>
<li><p>Can we set up redundant systems to help prevent this kind of thing? Babysitters routinely calling parents who don’t show, or ?</p></li>
<li><p>I would guess that mother is in her own personal hell, with her marriage at risk.</p></li>
</ol>

85

<p>I rarely, if ever, called during the day. I chose child care settings I trusted and had no need to interrupt their day “just to check”. I would have called if my child wasn’t coming for the day.</p>

<p>My husband once forgot the youngest at the YMCA nursery. I think he is absentminded, not evil. I once forgot a preschool pickup after getting a call to pick up an older sibling at school, getting them into the doctor, and standing in line at the pharmacy. </p>

<p>I can’t imagine leaving a child in the car all day. Still, there is a reason accidental is a word.</p>

86

<p>It realy surprises me that anyone wouldn’t call. Not a judgment and no remarks about trusting one’s care, just genuine surprise. Perhaps because long commutes of 1 1/2 hours in each direction or more are common here, but I could never go that many hours without saying hello and seeing what’s up. Even when the childcare was my husband! As I said, I don’t know any mothers who go the entire work day without checking in, but if one is not in the habit of calling, then it wouldn’t be out of the norm to not do so. I agree that this was a horrible accident that likely only would have been possible in the chaotic period of beginning the school year. I can’t imagine how a marriage could survive this.</p>

87

<p>It is sort of off-topic, but this question of calling or not is fascinating to me. I would suppose that the kind of setting (center, day care home, care in your home) would make a difference, and length of the child’s day, distance from your work, and the established culture of both the workplace and the careplace would factor into it. I do call home just to check on them now that they are older and I have one of those 3 hours round trip commutes. When they were little it was only 5 minutes from home to sitter to work.</p>

88

<p>If it DIDNT trigger an OMG moment, what does that say about the mom?</p>

<p>I mean, those of us who forgot something had something trigger us</p>

<p>I watched another child when my D was little, it was her buddy and I got paid, and it was a very safe situation, but the mom or dad would check it at least once a day each, and I didn’t find it intrusive or a pain or showing a lack of faith or trust in me…if I could chat, I would, if not, I would say, hey, heading to the park, will call when we get back</p>

<p>If you have a babysitter or childcare situation where calling in is treated like you are “bugging them” you need to find another one</p>

<p>As for being judgemental, gosh darn, what a thought!!! ANd I am just as hard on the dads, where was he in this, did he not call to check on his child</p>

<p>As for not calling the sitter, egad, as a child minder, that would be pretty arrogant to not bother calling to say you were not coming, she is not your maid, she is someone who is often responsible for your child, and even if she says, eh don’t call, it is respectful and creates are more professional relationship if there IS communication</p>

<p>If that mom had a more professional relationship with who ever was watching her child, with a pattern of calling to say whether she was going to bother to show up, then it maybe this child would be alive, because people would have actually talked to each other</p>

<p>a phone call doesn’t take but 30 seconds</p>

89

<p>Can I just ask questions about priorities? Can I ask – is there something screwed-up and wrong when a parent can afford to drive a big Mercedes with tinted windows and provide breakfast for the entire staff of the school, and commensurately, afford full-time, on-demand child-care, bung their child in there all day without a second thought? Is this what some of you are wondering – is this a case of parental self-absorption (“gosh, the thrill of having the whole staff thank me for bringing breakfast, I am so nice to do that”) and hyper-involvement in a high-powered career?
The child sacrificed her life for that career, yes accidentally of course, but as a result of something. Is that the point we are making?</p>

<p>Not sure I disagree with that point.</p>

<p>Hmmm. Clearly this is not the same thing as a momentary lapse in judgment (one of those ‘glad the guardian angels were on duty’ things) or a logistical problem – like the parent who posted about paying for gas. We have all had those times, no parent is immune to the worry and anxiety. This, and the McCann case, are just different somehow.</p>

<p>An aside: I drive probably the most unsightly vehicle imaginable. It is an 8-yr.-old Honda Odyssey, it has been through 4 overseas moves and a terrible hailstorm. I won’t buy a new one though (damage is cosmetic, lol). I have kids to put through college, that’s the priority. No Mercedes for this parent.</p>

<p>In Germany, I was at school every day in my beat-up van picking up kids from afterschool activities – my own kids and each day a handful of others. Those kids’ parents all had BMWs, Mercedes, and Porsches (very wealthy community). But they couldn’t be bothered to take them out of the driveway to pick up their kids. </p>

<p>I bet a lot of you are like me – there are just some things that are hard to get past, maybe we don’t sense the parents put the kid as priority one. Lifestyle, prestige, career, being thoughtful for colleagues instead of one’s child, where does it end?</p>

90

<p>It’s easy to be self-righteous.
It’s easy to judge others.
If you think you’re perfect - you’re wrong. You make mistakes, too. Categorizing others’ mistakes as “unthinkable” just proves you can’t think outside of what you are able to perceive of your own experience. Whenever any one says something like

I never disagree. A self-proclaimed inability respond to additional information or argument is generally sincere and accurate. For those still able to be convinced by evidence, and not totally wound up in an aura of self-proclaimed perfection, acknowledge that the human mind is fallible. 90% of our actions at any point in time are automatic - not weighed and considered.</p>

<p>There are lots of people out there who decide to do bad, anti-social things. The criminal justice system exists to deal with those people for the protection and benefit of society. Sometimes very bad things happen due to human fallibility. Using the criminal justice system to smite them so as to make the rest of us feel better is vengeance, not justice. My heart goes out to these parents who have made a mistake which will haunt them the rest of your lives. As to the self-righteous and judgmental types who demand a pound of flesh in addition – may you never be judged as you have yourselves have presumed to judge here.</p>

91

<p>Well said, kluge.</p>

92

<p>Yes, well said.</p>

<p>When I was pregnant with my first child, the enormity of the responsibility that was coming would sometimes overwhelm me. I was worried about accidental drownings, bike accidents, kitchen burns, etc.- and the kid hadn’t yet hatched…</p>

<p>My mantra (which still runs through my head) was, “Please don’t let me make a decision that endangers this child…” </p>

<p>I make mistakes. I hope to catch them before they turn into catastrophes.</p>

93

<p>Anuddamom-
PLEASE don’t turn this into a career woman vs. real mom issue.</p>

<p>Who cares what kind of car any woman drives and what condition it is in? Who cares if a mom stays home, works part-time, full time, or has a high-powered career? None of that has any impact on how good a parent you are and whether or not you’d be more likely to neglect or forget about your baby.</p>

<p>Most women who work do so because their families need two incomes to survive. They can be good mothers just like working men can be good fathers.</p>

<p>Regarding calling the daycare:
I’ve had an executive level career for over 20 years and worked full-time throughout my children’s lives. We were fortunate to only use one daycare provider during the 11 years. H took the kids to the daycare and popped in during the day to see them since he worked close by. I took them to daycare about 20 times during the 11 years, and probably called 30 times to check in if there was an issue such as teething or a recent illness, rash, etc.</p>

<p>I can imagine that a busy mother who is not used to the drop off could forget she had her baby in the car, particularly if she was travelling a regular route. It does not forgive the negligence of forgetting however. It is a tragic situation, but the baby was not a gallon of milk as a previous poster stated. This is a mother who, while busy, had a habit of leaving her baby in the car unattended. She used bad judgement and was negligent on a regular basis. Now she is in hell and as a fellow human and mother, I feel sorry for her, but she is paying the price for her reckless behavior.</p>

94

<p>If out of anguish and abject grief, the guilt ridden mother in this situation committed suicide, would that be almost as good as sending her to prison?</p>

95

<p>poetsheart-no that would leave a grieving husband and a motherless child. (I think she has another child)</p>

<p>A fitting punishment would be for her to be required to talk to other mothers of young children about her experience and her negligent behaviors. It might save another child’s life.</p>

96

<p>Call me self righteous and judgemental, I don’t care</p>

<p>this mommy had left her child alone in her car before, but this time it was fatal</p>

<p>mom was on autopilot, according to her friend, autopilot when it came to the life of her daughter</p>

<p>"Tara Phillips, an employee at Compass School in Loveland, told police that on Aug. 21, Nesselroad-Slaby came to pick up the older daughter at the school and told the child to hurry up because the baby was in the car. The next day, Nesselroad-Slaby came in again to pick up the older child and stayed for about 10 minutes to watch the class act out a story, the report said.</p>

<p>“Mom didn’t go to check on the baby,” Phillips wrote in her statement to police.</p>

<p>Phillips also told police that she had been informed by a former Compass School administrator, Debbie Wolf, that both Nesselroad-Slaby and her husband had been confronted last winter about leaving the baby in the car.</p>

<p>Wolf told police that she later spoke to Nesselroad-Slaby, requesting that the child not be left alone in the vehicle. She said Nesselroad-Slaby apologized, and Wolf said she never heard about any further incidents, the report said."</p>

<p><a href=“http://news.cincypost.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070907/NEWS01/709070372[/url]”>http://news.cincypost.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070907/NEWS01/709070372&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>its like drunk driving, most people caught have actually done it more than that one time</p>

<p>at minimum she should take parenting classes</p>

<p>I am not saying prison, but there needs to be SOMETHING…her pain is nothing compared to what her baby went through</p>

97

<p>“Brenda Slaby admitted to investigators that she never thought of the child from the point where she changed lanes at Eastgate Boulevard.”</p>

<p>“Oh, my God! I just want to die,” Brenda Nesselroad-Slaby said. “I’ve got to be the most incompetent person on earth.”</p>

<p>“Stupid doughnuts,” Nesselroad-Slaby said. “How could I not think of my daughter?”</p>

<p>think I just need to go away,” Nesselroad-Slaby said to her husband. “I think I just need to go away. I can’t face anybody ever again. I just need to go away.”</p>

<p>awful lot of talk about herself…egad</p>

<p>I am not a vengful person, but if don’t put our babies first, who will?</p>

98

<p>What benefit to society would putting this woman in jail be? Would she be less absent-minded? Wouldn’t our tax money be better spent on other things? </p>

<p>She messed up and it cost her her daughter not to mention probably everything else good in her life. She’s going through pain and grief and blaming everything on herself and because she’s talking about what an incompetent person she is and how could she forget about her daughter this is her somehow only talking about herself? We need to understand this was an ARTICLE. Who knows what other verbal cries of grief this mother has uttered to her husband, mother, father, friends and other reporters who are no doubt hounding her for the next juicy morsel?</p>

<p>She killed her child and it was an accident. I think that if this were truly an accident and there are no signs of foul play then she’s already living in her own personal hell. There is no reason for my tax money to be spent on her living in a cell when the world is now her prison. She says she needs to go away because she can’t bear the thought of facing anyone ever again - unfortunately for her you can’t run from your mind and regret is worse than an expensive jail cell. </p>

<p>Her family is probably in deep despair right now. Would a trial, conviction and prison time really let anyone who matters heal from this awful tragedy? Or would it just make people who haven’t suffered at all from this feel better about themselves?</p>

99

<p>Baby’s Heat-Related Death Ruled As Homicide
Last Edited: Friday, 07 Sep 2007, 9:38 PM CDT
Created: Friday, 07 Sep 2007, 9:38 PM CDT</p>

<p>Kansas City said there were two heat related deaths this summer and one of them is now being called a homicide. A 19-month-old baby was left in a car and died from her injuries</p>

<p>The baby’s family members said they were angry about her death because no one has been charged yet.</p>

<p>On Friday the family got the death certificate and found out it’s been ruled a homicide. 19-month-old Ariana Hughes died July 27. She was brought to Children’s Mercy Hospital, but her parents never told anyone that the baby had been left in a car.</p>

<p>It was later that the official cause of death was heat exposure. The victim’s great-aunt said several days later, the mother confessed to family members that she had left the baby in a car for 14 hours.</p>

<p>She claimed it was a miscommunication between her and her sister: each thought the other had gotten the baby out of the car seat and brought her in the house.</p>

<p>According to a news release, KCMO police are investigating the death. The family said they’re planning to go to the police station to try and make another statement and ask why no one has been charged.</p>

<p>(incompent- that is how the mom described herself…I am not saying prison, but to just let it slide is not right…she should not hide away, she should go public…to maybe save another babies life from parents who forget about the most precious, innocent, vulnerable human in their lives)</p>

100

<p>News Archive</p>

<p>Baby death risk if left asleep in car seats</p>

<p>A group of scientists have warned that babies should not be left alone in car seats when asleep as there is a risk they can stop breathing.</p>

<p>Researchers from the McGill University Health Centre in Montreal, Canada, found that babies at risk from choking themselves when falling asleep sitting upright as the reflex to keep the head up is still developing.</p>

<p>Children under a month old were four times more likely to die when seated than those aged 12 months, an analysis of death rates in Quebec over nine years found.</p>

<p>This was because the reaction to snap your head to an upright position even when asleep develops slowly, although there remained a risk to all young children the study suggested.</p>

<p>“Our results reveal such deaths are not particularly common and represent only three per cent of the total number of unexpected deaths in the first year of life,” said lead researcher Dr Aurore Cote.</p>

<p>“But we did find an excess of infants of less than one month of age dying in a sitting position in the unexplained death group. Time spent in the sitting position might be relevant.”</p>

<p>Car safety devices which keep the baby lying flat were not thought to cause a problem and Dr Cote stressed that the use of any baby seat was preferable than none when travelling with an infant as they “significantly decreased” infant mortality in crashes.</p>