@SOSConcern - that dress is breathtaking. How great that it worked out for her.
@SOSConcern - what a gorgeous dress. Very brave of her to order such a form fitting gown over the internet.
My H got a text from a cousin asking if we were coming to her kids wedding. We had RSVPed months ago but they used postcards as the RSVP and it seems many went missing.
@frazzled1- I know the traditional invitation always came inside in the 2nd envelope. We have received invitations in this style and those didn’t have the wedding website listed on the front of the invitation. In those cases the invitations were also engraved on high quality paper and included all the extra cards with all the details of the day and weekend and a response card with stamped reply envelope. On the other extreme we have received a lot of invitations in recent years that were the single page from some of the online sources. They are pretty but aren’t quality paper. Some with artwork done by the bride or groom. These mainly have all the details on either front or back and direct you to RSVP via the website. I think there is no right or wrong way.
Regarding gift registry- I am not a fan of the fund the honeymoon sites. I don’t have a problem giving cash but I do balk at being asked to fund a kayaking excursion. I don’t know why I feel that way since they can take my check and find the honeymoon.
S and Fiancé are not the quickest wedding planners. I don’t think they have secured the venue. They have time but I wish they would just commit to the place and secure the date. My H and I went over our list of guests trying to slim it down. I eliminated most of our friends and kept on the relatives. H kept the friends and eliminated the relatives. Obviously we see things differently.
H and I decided to give a cash wedding gift early. I just put the money into DD’s checking account, and will tell her when she is able to return my call. It helps with their deposits. DD is making decent money, and FSIL has savings and a tax refund, but they are being a little bit nervous Nellies. So the cash will help ease their minds.
Speaking of invitations - if you’re not using the interior 2nd envelope, do you just put all the parts of the invitation in the main envelope (invite, separate reception card, rsvp card, and information card)? Seems kind of messy/disorganized. Is there any particular order to all this?
2nd invitation question - this is more of an etiquette question: the wedding invite lists H&I as the hosts (the traditional wording). The return address on the envelope will be our home address. The address on the reply envelopes…can the reply envelopes be addressed to D and her fiancee? They’ve live together and it would be easier if they kept track of the responses. I don’t want to anger the etiquette gods (namely some of my older and proper relatives!).
Re the second question: I agree that it’s easier if the people who are doing the seating chart get the responses. Presumably that’s the bride and groom, since together they know everyone invited. But we’re going to have all the responses come to us, then hand them over at some point. With our two older daughters, they asked us to keep track, and it was fun to get a pile of responses in the mail every day.
Maybe this is a good time to repeat the hint about numbering the reverse of the response cards and keeping a list matching guest names to the numbers. A surprising number of guests for d2’s wedding responded yes or no without including their names. Some even mailed back the card without indicating their names OR whether or not they were attending.
My sons save the dates have been sent. I’m having a hard time being excited about the wedding because we have so many other things going on, a relocation and my daughters college graduation.
We live near the venue…and DD does not. Many of the guests are our friends who DD wouldn’t know where to seat. I think she and I will be doing this via FaceTime together when the time comes. The responses will,probably be mailed here as we are hosting the wedding.
I just sent an email to the MOH who I know is going to be a terrific help! Thank goodness!
Thanks for your responses. We all live near each other and the venue. I’m really not looking forward to the seating chart. I still remember the extremely stressful night 35 years ago when my mother and I sat down to do this for my wedding (my mother stresses over everything).
We will be marking all the response cards to identify anyone who sends it in blank.
Another tip: on the response cards, keep the “yes” or “no” answer straightforward. My nephew recently got married and the response options on the card were “happy to be there” (yes) or “will be there in spirit” (no). Several people who were coming checked off the second response because they interpreted that as they’d be there in a spirited way. I guess they thought that was a more enthusiastic way to say yes. Bride and groom had to make several phone calls to clear this up.
Anyone used the newish online seating apps available? Seems like it would make the process easier, especially sharing/working on it with multiple people, although it doesn’t make it any easier to decide where to stick gossipy Aunt Mary or boorish Uncle Ned.
Well, I’m now seeing the upside of our limited guest list! We have 10 guests at 1 table, and 2 tables of immediate family. H’s side gets one, mine gets the other. Easy peasy. I will pass on the tip of numbering the response cards. They are now designing their invitations and I hope the response/information cards are simple and straightforward. But, no one has asked me!
Our venue is giving us a template which we need to complete…with the meal choices on it.so…that is what we will do.
Also, our venue has tables with 6 or 8 or 10. So the number of folks at the tables will vary a little.
How do folks feel about buffets vs. plated & served dinners? We have no elderly relatives and FSiL’s grandmothers, who may or may not attend, are mobile. D1 prefers a buffet thinking it will be easier to accommodate the various food sensitivities/preferences of the wedding party and guests. I support D1’s choice, but for some reason she’s worried. FSiL is very laid back and happy to go along with whatever she wants.The guest list will be pretty small, likely < 30, so no long lines waiting for half an hour to get food.
The issue with a buffet is often how much food to offer and how much variety. (Somewhere, I just read about this.) If it just means self serve, it can be a great idea, offer more choice.
On a lighter note my godson’s wedding registry on The Knot is all home repair equipment- tape measure, sanders, etc. They don’t own a house and aren’t likely to, soon (both are waiting on grad school decisions, all out of state.) Maybe it’s some odd placeholder, for now.
We have been to many nice buffets for weddings. It has worked fine for all those we have attended and I believe it is often a bit cheaper as well. As long as the venue replenishes the serving dishes, it’s fine – if they don’t it can be disappointing.
It’s the norm in my family that someone makes a plate for a less mobile person. I like buffets cuz I can what I like and waste less.
I’m a fan of buffets, personally. I like to have a range of options to choose from. I guess that’s also why I like the “small plates” concept that’s been the trend at restaurants for the past 6-7 years. I never really understood why some people frown on the idea and think plated is more chichi. There are ways to handle a buffet without folks having to wait in long lines.
The talk of buffets has me remember H and my wedding 38 years ago. We had a buffet (well stocked) but the line snaked in front of our head table. It was a bit weird eating while they were eyeing our food (300 people).
Most of the wedding is DD and FSIL’s friends. I imagine family will sit with family and their friends will sit with their friends. I believe it will be a buffet, and they will have reception/finger foods and drinks between wedding and dinner. They have the hall for 4 hours. I believe they want some pictures done immediately after the wedding.
I will hear/see more in a few weeks on my visit.
Buffets take up space. This may be a consideration.
My daughter and her fiance are planning a relatively small wedding, and they only visited relatively small venues. Although some of these venues offer buffet service, that option didn’t end up working for them. For reasons that had to do with space, number of guests, and the desire to leave room for dancing, both of the venues that ended up being their “finalists” said that a sit-down meal would be necessary.
Your mileage may vary.
At all the buffets I’ve been to in the last few years, the event’s staff did a great job of keeping the lines shorter, calling up a few tables at a time. For 30 people, it sounds so easy.
I like both. If the plated dinner is nicely thought out, without “filler food,” that’s great. If it is protein plus obligatory starch and veg sides, yawn. With a buffet, you have the problem of people shoveling all kinds of bits and pieces of food onto their plate, where they mingle poorly in an unappetizing mess. Buffets have to be carefully thought out, too.
Really, in an ideal world I would opt for a plated dinner of 6 small eclectic courses. That’s what I like to do when I have a dinner party for foodie friends.