D1 asked me to find wedding insurance. Anyone here got one? Any recommendations?
@oldfort, if you’re just buying wedding liability insurance to meet your venue’s requirements, it can be done online. There are several companies – WedSafe, WedSure, etc. It takes 15 minutes, max, most of which is spent looking for the exact wording in the contract with the venue about what the insurance certificate is supposed to say.
But if you want cancellation insurance, you may want to do more extensive research. Those companies also sell it, but I don’t know whether it’s any good.
A friend’s son used WedSafe, and although it was not a cancellation, they were faced with a situation where the caterer did not show up on the day of the wedding (I know, unbelievable) and the insurer paid out for the excess they spent to make everything happen that day.
The whole things-vs.-money question for gifts definitely has a cultural component and a class component. In my mother’s family, you give things. Most of my father’s family, who are markedly less snooty than my mother’s family, give money. In my future daughter-in-law’s family, you give money. It’s not boorish, it’s not embarrassing, it’s just what people do.
My wife and I were completely unaware of registering for gifts when we got married. My mother functioned as an informal gift registry – she decided what we ought to have, and parceled out responsibility among her family members. We did choose a china pattern. It was the one I liked, the last time my wife ever let me take the lead on a decision like that. Luckily, we didn’t get too much of it – apparently my mother liked it less than my wife did. Years later, we have good china for 150 people – some of it purchased, some given as gifts, some inherited – and exactly 10 dinner plates are “our” pattern.
Update on the situation I discussed: The NYT announcement is going forward, and we have a large room block at another hotel. A little resistance on both, but not too much after the initial clash. Everyone is trying to get along.
But you can’t ask for cash only without looking like a boor, so they have a registry with merchandise in it–
Actually, traditional wedding etiquette dictates no registry … it gives the impression that the couple is expecting gifts. Hey, I had one & D will have one … I am just passing it along. My thought is, no registry means people are more likely to give money.
D said yes to the dress Saturday, which is one more thing to check off the list. 
Got married in DH’s church. MIL’s friends/family asked her if we had a registry and, since we lived cross country, she found a discreet way to suggest a money gift.
Of course, that left my side, which brought gifts like crystal and a lamp (!)
As far as a discreet way to suggest a money gift. I have received wedding invitations that have said “No boxed gifts please.” I took that to mean cash only. I tend to give money/checks for a wedding gift.
^^^To me, that implies that anything other than $$$$ is unacceptable and comes off as rude.
@bestfriendgirl At first I thought it was tacky but then I noticed this on several different invites from different couples.
It took it as code word for “cash.” Personally I would not do that.
I know. But there are advantages to a registry – particularly the online kind. If you have an online registry, gifts selected from it will be shipped to where the bride and groom actually live, which is much better than having someone show up at a wedding at another location with a gift in hand, which some family member then has to ship to the bride and groom.
Back before the internet, my home town had some stores with registry (one that had a lot of kitchen items). So I had some lists there. We probably had half cash and half gifts. I got 3 crock pots, and was able to take 2 to the kitchen store (since they carried it) and any other duplicate items, and got a large picnic basket and a cooler. Still have many items from the wedding 38 years ago that we use. Didn’t choose china/crystal/sterling - we did that later. 3 months after the wedding we purchased our first home, and the wedding money paid for refrigerator, washer and dryer. We were very appreciative that parents paid for wedding, had a nice celebration/event, and in addition to memories had useful stuff.
DD’s gift registry on their web site explains how cash gifts will be used. They list some useful gift items. It is their wedding, their event. Much different time than before the internet and the millennials.
H was so attached to our toaster we got as a wedding present (it had a sensor to drop the bread) and couldn’t understand how to keep it working (EE). I finally got sick of begging the toast to go down (fiddling with it to work) and got one with the long slots and different settings (toast, bagel, frozen, warm)… H got upset so I gave it to DD. Then H was getting sick of the toaster not working, and I bought a new toaster identical to the one DD got. H didn’t complain at that point. I saved the toaster but will get rid of it when we downsize - H by then won’t care about it. This is how one stays married 38 years - you give and take, and not let rather insignificant things take on a life of their own. I don’t use the toaster as much as H, but it was very annoying to me for a long time.
H also didn’t like when I would get a new coffee pot. But heck, if it doesn’t work it has to get replaced. I didn’t even argue with him - I just replaced it; I make the coffee and I love morning coffee.
“They are having around 100 people and the total cost of the wedding is over 100K.”
@oldfort Do report back after this wedding. Curious as to what a $1K per guest wedding is like, especially as it sounds like it is not including paying for several normal expenses related to the attendants.
We didn’t register…and because if that…we have 12 each orefors wine and water goblets…which we didn’t want, haven’t used, and don’t like. People do what they want to do.
DD will register when the time comes. She will onlynregister for things she doesn’t have…or would like to have and wouldn’t likely buy herself. I seriously doubt she will register for linens, kitchen gadgets, etc. I’m not sure what she will register for…but she will want to give her friends and family some ideas in case they choose to send a gift.
What I have seen recently is that all of the shower gifts come off the registry…really after the shower, there usually isn’t anything left on the registries around here.
Bff’s son finally added to his registry. So in addition to the socket wrenches, sanders, and other home repair things on the original list, I could get him a mildew proof shower curtain. Or a paper towel holder. Or litter box filters. ???
No idea what they’re thinking. Neither is handy, they don’t own a home or do crafts. (Though they do have a cat. ) And both are headed to grad school, this fall. In differrnt states.
Maybe this is a new way to scream, “cash gifts, please.”
@doschicos - you and me both. I asked D1 to take notes. D1 said it is at an estate where everything is brought in. The ceremony is going to be outdoor with beautiful greenery and flowers already, but the mother insists on getting additional flowers and trees. I think everything is over the top for the wedding day. They are not having a welcome party or brunch in the morning.
LOL, my daughter’s registry was full of tools and cat stuff too!
I assume my son in law is the one who wanted the 5-drawer metal tool cabinet & Dremel cordless rotary tool. I doubt that the cats had much of an opinion one way or another on the enclosed litter box or fancy pet carrier.
But they also did list a lot of kitchen stuff-- and that’s pretty much all anyone bought.
Given that couples are getting married later on average and are usually on their own for awhile or living together and have established households, plus a trend towards less formality (no need for sliver flatware/fancy china patterns, etc.) it makes sense to me to need $ for experiences or home costs or tools and other non-traditional items. I have no problem with it. A lot has changed in the past few generations so it makes sense to me that gift registries change as well.
I want a Dremel.
But these kids aren’t handy or involved in any projects. The opposite. That’s why it’s so strange. And I can’t give a $6.99 plastic wastebasket for a wedding gift. (Ok, I could, but I won’t, not even a set of them, lol.)
How about the $6.99 waste basket filled with crumpled dollar bills? 
But, yeah, $7 items are pretty silly for the most part.
Well, @lookingforward - based on my son-in-law’s experience, listing a Dremel on a wedding registry is not the way to get one. Though I would agree that it is probably a gift that would have gotten a lot more use than the panini maker (which was a wedding wish fulfilled, but nowhere in sight when I visited the kids and stayed in their home last month).