I am not sure what D & FSIL want on the invites, but I honestly do not need to be listed. I think if they want to say in some way that a parent is inviting them, I would want both sets of parents included. H & I did that when we got married, even though his parents only kicked in a small amount (beer & wine - my parents covered liquor, which was a heftier bar bill than the in laws had - and everything else associated with the wedding). I just think that if you are going to include one set of parents, it’s nice to include both. Again, though, I don’t care if parents are included on the invitation, anyway. The kids are the ones getting married, and the invitation is for their wedding. (I’m not much of a stickler for tradition, though … I addressed invitations to John and Sally Smith 34 years ago, when the norm was Mr. and Mrs. …)
@marian…yes…it would be Mr. And Mrs. Glenn Thumper. Sorry for that confusion.
But really…I think we will use our first names. So it will be “Glenn and Suzy Thumper request…”
WE are hosting this wedding. Not the groom’s parents…well…at least not at this point. That is why we will be requesting the pleasure of everyone’s company. If they pay for something for the wedding…then they will be hosting it too…and their names will be on the invitations.
TBH…I think the wording doesn’t matter as much as the invitation information about the bride and groom. Our little part will be in a way smaller font than the names of the bride and groom.
No parents are going to be listed on my D’s invitation. It’s going to say “please join us as we are married” with the information. It’s going to be a very informal type of wedding.
After much debate our kids went with “MOB (First name Last name) and FOB - (First name Last name) invite you to celebrate the marriage of their daughter “Bride’s name” and “Groom’s name” son of Runnersmom and H of Runnersmom” Her parents are divorced and mom never changed her name. FDIL’s last name is already hyphenated and she will not be changing it. Apparently the invitation originally said marriage of FDIL to S, but FDIL didn’t like that - sounded like someone was giving her to him, so they opted for “and”.
In this day and age I rather like the idea of not specifying a host. So it could say “You are cordially invited to the wedding of Bride and Groom.” Or if you want to list parents names, it could say “You are cordially invited to the wedding of Bride, daughter of Jane Smith and John Jones, and Groom, son of Jane Doe and John Roe” (Assuming each parent has a different last name, as we do. If not, it could be Jane and John Jones.
If the situation is complicated by step-parents, it might be easier to just leave all of the parents out of it, assuming that it was okay with all of the parents.
I don’t think it matters who is paying. I have a relative whose wedding was paid for by her grandparents. The invitation didn’t say that the grandparents invited everyone.
The one thing I DEFINITELY wouldn’t do is list the parents as Mr. and Mrs. John Jones. No anonymous women. 
ETA: one of the things I like about my proposed wording is that it sidesteps the whole “who is paying” thing. It could be any or–most likely–all of them, including the couple.
D and SIL worded theirs “Together with their families, Brides name & Grooms name request the pleasure of your company at their wedding celebration.” They thought that was good wording to include everybody.
DH and I are hosting this whole,event…from start to finish. The bride and groom aren’t paying anything…and the groom’s parents haven’t indicated they are either.
WE are hosting this wedding…and that is why we will be the ones requesting everyone’s presence.
Our bride and groom agree this should be the case…and that is what matters.
If they were paying for the wedding like @zoosermom or @CottonTales kids…then we would graciously let them invite folks as they chose to do. But they are not.
See? There are all kinds of things to consider! Thanks for all your input. It’s good to know that the traditional wording works, but we will probably modify it somewhat – it feels weird not to include the groom’s family somehow.
@thumper1, the kids didn’t pay for the whole wedding. It was truly a family affair with everybody chipping in, some more than others. The bride’s grandmother, mother, grooms father, mother and step father as well as the bride and groom all contributed. That’s why they did the wording the way they did.
Thanks @CottonTales
That makes sense!
That’s a nice wording, @zoosermom, but how do the bride’s and groom’s names get onto the invitation?
We had arguments in our family @CottonTales, about whether it’s OK to use a term like “wedding celebration” instead of “wedding” or “marriage.” It’s a very nice wording, but we wondered whether people might think they were being invited to something other than the actual wedding.
Their names are going to be across the top
Jane Smith and Bob Jones
[art work]
Please joint us as we are married
Saturday, June 16, 2017
6:00 in the evening
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
New York, New York
Food and fun to follow
with a small note at the bottom
Please RSVP by June 16, 2016 at
JaneandBobtietheknot@weddingsite.com
S & DIL used the following wording for their invitation. They planned and paid for the wedding themselves.
Together with their families
Bride’s full name
and
Groom’s full name
invite you to join them in celebrating their marriage
I am hosting the wedding reception, but I am including my kid’s father’s name in the invitation. It will be Ms. Oldford and Mr. kid’s Dad request the pleasure…
There will be a separate invitation in the same envelope from the groom’s parents for the welcome party the night before.
So, @thumper1, if the groom’s family suddenly presents you with a check for $10K or whatever as a contribution, are you going to have the invitations redone? 
I think she just might, if that were to happen!!
It is like buying an ad. More you pay, more real estate you get on a page, except I am giving mine away for free.
@Consolation this wedding is a year away…with most plans already made. The groom’s family will know about all,of this well before invitations are printed.
The only caveat I will make is that if my KID wants her future inlaws names on the invitation even with no contribution towards the wedding…then their names will be on the invitations. The wording will be carfully chosen.
If this family gives $100 towards wedding costs…that would,be a nice gesture. That hasn’t happened…and I don expect it to.
They have one married kiddo…and they gave that kiddo $0 when the marriage happened. So…we are not expecting a big contribution here.
If they give us $10,000 AFTER the invitations are printed, I will,suggest that they give the money tomthe bride and groom as a gift.
I think this when you use
Suzy and Glenn Thumper
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Thumperkid Thumper
to [or and]
John Smith
son of Cheapskate and Tightwad Smith
The parents’ names are there, but there’s no implication that they’re co-hosts.
Well, perhaps that’s why our invitation is worded the way it is – we offered to contribute, our offer was graciously declined. We are hosting other pieces of the weekend, just not the actual wedding. It’s fine with us, but my S insisted that our names be on the invitation (it’s not like he had to fight for it )