I believe the issue regarding DIL and hair is resolved. I tossed a few ideas around with D
and landed on the one that works for both of us. D and her two BFF will go to the salon.
S, DIL, myself, H and FMIL(!) will go to my inexpensive stylist. DIL and I will then pick up the cake
and go to the restaurant and decorate the tables. FMIL and FFIL will need to drive a bit to get there
but it will keep them busy for the morning.
Hysterical that D wanted me to take care of FMIL. It is becoming a theme. I know D likes her
just fine. But so far I have been asked when we meet to “help my mom have a good time” so to speak–
twice! I asked why me and SIL said “because you can”. SIL does not want his mom to do any of the food–
such as snacks at the hotel. He asked through D if I can think of anything for his mom to do.
My phone call and two dinner twice with her were Ok. She seems anxious and basically talks about
herself. She has recently retired and also her other S just married in a huge bash so she gets a pass.
I have drawn a line of being helpful with being firm (inside myself–no one ask in the end) that they
can not stay at our house and that I do not want anyone except DIL to help with the flowers. Also,
discussed with D that all the parents sitting to together (as we have done before) is less fun for us as it is the young people we want to chat with --she was good about it.
You are so brave. I would be terrified to do this because I might drop the cake.
We didn’t hire one for my daughter’s wedding because they cost, like, megabucks, but now it turns out that a close family member will be unable to attend the wedding for health reasons and would absolutely love to have a video. It isn’t going to happen (because it still costs megabucks, and I’m not going to chase around looking for yet another vendor six weeks before the wedding), but I feel bad about it.
Marian, if you have enough pictures from iphones, other cameras , put them together into a video. Can you have someone video at least the vows? Goskid put together a nice video from a honoree dinner, using iphone videos and still pics; he added some music and it was lovely.
@gosmom, that’s a very good idea, and I have a “volunteer” in mind.
My son (the bride’s unmarried brother) has an iPhone and will have nothing to do at the wedding. (There are no unattached women among the guests, so he has nobody to hit on.) He could video a few things. And he would be doing it for the benefit of an aunt who was very kind and welcoming to him when he lived in her city for a year. So I don’t think he would mind.
We are doing tasting this weekend. D1 just sent me a schedule of what we are doing this weekend - hair/makeup, walk through at the ceremony hall, invitation selection and tasting. D1 is definitely driving this. She has all of us on schedule. The only thing I asked her was when she was going to fit in my lunch schedule. She said, “Mommy, I have granular bars.”
My son and new DIL discovered that their videographer failed to “interview” my husband and me. I didn’t even know it was happening but he apparently was going around and asking folks to say something to the couple. She’s pretty miffed that he was so careless.
Bumping this to offer best wishes retroactively to @SOSConcern and @snoozn, whose ds were married yesterday. Hope they were wonderful events!
Also bumping to give a short report on my d3’s wedding, which was the previous Saturday (7/15). I’m still in a kind of daze and will probably think of more details that might be of help to others as this thread goes on.
If I wanted to concentrate on what went wrong, I certainly could. My 87-y/o MIL told my 81-y/o mom to shut up. Someone who’d been invited with her significant other responded that she’d be coming alone and then brought her sister with her, which would have meant havoc at the table she’d been assigned to if they hadn’t left during the cocktail hour. Which I think they did because they might have overheard me say to a friend, “I’ve got to solve a seating problem for an uninvited guest.” They’d have to have used superhero powers to do that, though, because I had a virus that resulted in laryngitis and could barely talk. The music was too loud and prevented people from hearing the announcement about the last call (mandated to be 30 minutes before the end of the reception). This included the groom, who had been trying to share a drink with his uncle all night, only to be turned away from the bar at his own wedding because it was 10:32 and the bar closed at 10:30.
There’s other stuff, too, but I decided to let all of it go when I realized how glowingly (can’t think of a better word) happy the bride and groom were. They had exactly the wedding they wanted, in exactly the right spot for them, with the family and friends they love. We don’t go to many weddings any more, but I’ve decided to use that as my litmus test for what makes a successful wedding from now on.
What worked: the day-of coordinator (really more of a month-of coordinator), who was worth every cent. She did all the stuff I’d have done otherwise, from passing out and pinning on boutonnieres to packing the couple’s car at the end of the night. She added immeasurably to my enjoyment of the day. The couple did their own photo booth for about $300 - they bought a Polaroid camera and film, added a few props, and asked people to take 2 of each pose and leave one for them. People really seemed to love the welcome bags, but in retrospect I’d say they are completely unnecessary - just something fun to do if that’s your thing.
Helpful hint: get away for a few days afterwards, if at all possible. We went to Wilmington Beach for a few days with our other daughters and their families and it was great!
We stayed at our wedding planner’s B&B this weekend. It was really nice because we bonded with her and her wonderful family. They had a fire pit and shared their dinner with us one night.
This weekend we met with the makeup artist, booked a string trio for the ceremony, transportation, food tasting, and invitations.
D1 said we did a lot this weekend, but it just seem like we have a lot more to do.
Thanks for the update @frazzled1 . It sounds as if your daughter and son-in-law loved their wedding and are very happily in love. It is wonderful to witness that joy! I appreciate your feedback on the gift bags. We had decided some time ago to forgo gift bags - people are staying in too many different places, many are Airbnb, and it was just seeming like a big hassle to distribute them. I started to re-think that decision with all the gift bag discussion a few weeks ago but ended up deciding again to not mess with it. Hopefully nobody will think less of us for it!
Our daughter’s wedding is this Sunday. I think it is going to be lovely and it will be very much “them” and reflective of their personalities and interests. The only thing I am a little uncomfortable with right now is that I don’t think they have planned the Welcome Dinner (a cookout at a state park) well enough and thought through all the logistics. But I’m not getting stressed about it because in the end, it will all be fine.
Looking forward to reports from SOSConcern and snoozn when they have time for an update!
