Will throw in a few reflections and ‘tips’ as I jot off some of our wedding experiences as mother (and father) of the bride.
Some of the ‘good things’ - FOB gave a heart-felt talk (more of a talk than a speech) from prepared notes, included a poem grandpa of bride had prepared which was lovely. I was towards the back and I was motioning by cupping my ear and having my other hand showing how he needed to have the microphone closer so we could hear better, but he never looked at me - but the room was quiet and most could hear I guess.
MOH/sis of bride told a funny story which shows how much heart the bride has (and made me realize this 21 YO younger sister is appreciating ‘heart’ more).
Father of groom had given ‘speech’ at rehearsal dinner which was fine, although a few commented to me about him saying they were looking forward to grandchildren comment was ‘pushy’ - but my MIL asked H and me on our wedding day for grandchildren (she had to wait 15 years…).
Best man (brother of groom) gave speech at wedding reception - short and meaningful.
Had some really lovely gathering times at hotel (wedding was 100 miles from our home) - casual; they had a wonderful bfst 6a - 10a, so one could hang out as various relatives and friends came in both Sat and Sun. We told about coming to our suite (and we all exchanged room numbers), where we had drinks/mixers/soda/snacks and it was a hang out place Friday evening after the rehearsal dinner which was open to all our out of town guests, and Saturday evening - and also some at the casual area of the hotel bar/restaurant. Also good one-on-one time with close relatives and friends - I visited with sis and BIL at their hotel room late Saturday night, and also got up early on Sunday since they had to leave to catch their flight - so they ate bfst as we continued to visit.
The bride and groom did check will all their wedding ‘pieces’ in the week up to the wedding, and all came through great. The church’s wedding coordinator made sure that ran well. We had half hour of photos before the wedding which included the elderly grandparents - and it was good to have them early when they were freshest. The groom’s family photos were done after the ceremony. The photographers took pictures all the way through the reception.
We had two videoing the wedding as a team from the choir balcony - and that worked out. The professional videographers were beyond the budget - we bought a new small digital camera and they used our tripod.
Reception was done at 7 pm (wedding was at 1:30 pm, and reception in next building) and clean up needed to be completed by 8 pm. The couple supposedly lined up people to ‘help’ - but parents of bride, MOH and her date, and a few very good friends are who helped us - we didn’t need to do anything with table and chairs, but gathered our table clothes (18) while caterer gathered the rented ones. We loaded the gifts, gave away flower center pieces, loaded the cake. The left over/unopened drinks were returned for credit. Caterer had boxed up the left over food in the alum foil to go pans - I should have put those where we had everything to go in our cars because that went ‘missing’ (we think someone thought it was to go to homeless shelter or decided to take it there - bride and groom wanted to divide it up the next day). There was quite a bit of food from rehearsal dinner - catered southern BBQ - half went to DD’s co-workers (bride and groom delivered to the night shift people DD works with at hospital) and half they kept.
The buffet dinner worked out great for both dinners. DD did have some ‘reserved tables’ at wedding reception - a very good friend told me there weren’t enough seats and weren’t going to stay, but yet a full reserved table (that seated 10) was empty and I said go through the line with me and eat here - and that worked out great. They had some high top tables for the younger people (the room had seating for 150, and we were just a bit over that).
Unless MOB/MOG has ‘totally’ comfortable shoes, bring in a bag ballet slippers or flip flops - I wore the more comfortable (lower heeled) dress shoe, but elected to go barefoot during clean up for a little due to swelling/pinching on the open toe area of my dress shoe.
Bride/groom splurged on the jazz band - and they were fantastic. The only problem was as some of the tunes later were louder, they had trouble continually adjusting the sound system down enough and a few of the guests left early due to ears hurting.
For me, it was the best wedding I have been to, but of course I am biased. But it was a hit by guest feedback.
Bride is going to give me the number what the wedding ended up costing - they did a great job using reputable vendors but who could do the work for a reasonable cost (flower lady has home based business - friend that is a master gardener said the first thing she noticed were the lovely flower arrangements and the bridal party bouquets). DD has lived in this city for 5 years, so knew/had the connections. Bride and groom really thought/planned everything out. Friday night, I was handed a 3 page summary of the time line. After it all, I told the groom what a wonderful job they did with having the best wedding I had been to - he said that meant a lot to him because it was a lot of planning and work/effort.
