So…after the reception…we are staying at the hotel across the street. I would be less than thrilled to have a whole car FULL of gifts in the parking lot (and we are talking about a nice, suburban setting). Plus…the seats in that car will be used to bring people home…and the back and trunk for things we are bringing to the reception, as well as our clothes, and things like…the wedding dress.
I too wonder if there is some correct way to indicate that gifts brought to the reception will be problematic.
Luckily DD isn’t registering for anything large…but still…
@thumper1. As far as I know, there is no way to do it. You might have to resort to bringing two cars or, if the distance is reasonably short, making two trips.
If we get stuck with this problem after my daughter’s wedding tomorrow, I’m planning on the two trips technique. And I will be really, really annoyed because a round trip is more than two hours. I don’t want to spend all that extra time in the car, much of it on the Capital Beltway, because people are so ignorant of etiquette that they bring gifts other than money to weddings.
My daughter and her fiance registered on Amazon, and they did include some large items – like a bicycle rack and a vacuum cleaner. But since it’s Amazon, the stuff HAS to be shipped. Nobody’s going to show up at the wedding with a bicycle rack. (At least, I hope not.)
Where I live “arranging an Uber” is not an option. I live in the woods. It would be cheaper for me to rent a van for a day…but I’m not going to do that either.
Plus…are you suggesting I have someone pack up the gifts…send them to a hotel…and then repack them in an Uber? And follow it back to my house at midnight or so,
Any gifts they’re registered for would automatically be sent to whatever address the couple gave to the registry, ostensibly their home address.
If they have a wedding website, they can post a message about the difficulty of transporting gifts from the wedding venue.
S & DIL didn’t have a large wedding, but the guests all seemed to understand the need to either order off the registry (with gifts going to their home) or bring a monetary gift in a card. Their wedding was 3000 miles away from where they live, so getting gifts home would’ve been inconvenient and expensive.
NOT true. Any guest can walk into Macy’s or BBB or Pottery Barn…or wherever…and buy a gift off the registry…and have it marked off on the registry. I know because I, and many friends have done this for shower gifts. They do NOT automatically get shipped to some address on the registry.
Now…if the couple registers only at Amazon…then yes…their gifts would get mailed. No other choice. But again…folks could have the gifts mailed to THEIR homes…as the purchaser DOES get to choose where the package will be sent.
I think the wedding couple can say something about where they will be living…tactfully. Maybe something on the order of “we are so happy to be celebrating our marriage where we grew up. After the wedding, we will be returning to___” or something like that.
We ended up using the party bus to transport the wedding gifts, the decorations, and some of the wedding party back to the hotel. Too much for the cars that H and I were driving.(Her parents were unavailable due to mom’s severe ill health.) I had booked a room for the night after the wedding because H and S2 had to return the tuxes–13 total on Monday morning (Sunday wedding). S1 and DIL fortunately lived in the area of their wedding and made several trips from the hotel and their apt that Monday morning. They left for the honeymoon early Tuesday.
As was said above, guests order online and ship the gift to their own home, rather than directly to the bride and groom, thinking it is safer to bring it to the wedding. I don’t do this, but I think it is more common that we think.
In all of the wedding books I have read it says to plan a spot for gifts to be put and a person to watch those
gifts–esp. the basket that cards with checks are placed.
Yes, I do think a plan needs to be in place and then hope it is not needed.
A friend texted last week that she needed to get her gift to D. She was hesitant to mail it because
they both work. I asked if she wanted to leave it with us and mentioned they will be packed with stuff.
Also said it is OK to mail as their landlords accept their packages. This is one reason someone might
not send a gift–fear of it being stolen–also I can see some elderly relatives not wanting to deal with the
shipping.
Still catching up with this thread and about 10 pages back people were mentioning essential emergency supplies to bring “just in case”.
There’s a company that makes little kits like this, where small amounts of everything you could think of are neatly arranged in tiny little purses - about 3" x2" or so. They have several that are designed for weddings. My D had one on a trip and it was quite useful. Need a bandaid? Safety pin? Earring back? There are 20+ items in each emergency kit.
FIL’s arrive this Tuesday in over 100 degree weather. FSIL is a great guy and a take care of things guy. However, he never consulted with me and he now has his parents in a 2 bedroom ABnB that has not AC.
When I mentioned it there is this attitude that they are from NJ and will be just fine.
But they won’t. Our humidity is high and there is no fast cool down.
I know D will stay with us as much as she can.
What I need here is to be reminded that I do not need to invite them to our house.
They are people of very comfortable means and can go to a hotel if they are not happy.
D and FSIL will stay here part of the time and when they are not here S and DIL will be here.
Still, I have a second guest room…
I do not have the temperament to have others stay with us for that long and I do not have
the temperament to know someone is super uncomfortable and not take care of them…
Thanks ^. No, I don’t think the hotels will be full.
Guessing I just feel frustrated the FSIL did not ask. D and I both expected heat although not this much.
And since their S and DIL arrive on Thursday to stay with them guess they could not stay here anyway.
We have them over for dinner on Wednesday so that will give them an evening of relief.
Sure changed my menu as not so much as one burner will go on here.
Ok, got me to realize this is not my problem.
Remember this is the FMIL for D that said “we do not want to inconvenience you so we are staying
in an ABnB”–or some such words. Which may be why I feel this expectation to take care of them.
If they haven’t asked you to house them, sounds like they are fine and you shouldn’t worry about it. It does get hot and humid at times in Jersey, too. Plenty of humidity on the east coast.
In case D or FSIL does come and ask, have your smile practiced and some nice words ready, because a hotel would really be a better fix than your home.
Yes, lots of summer humidity in NJ. Unlike parts of the west, it doesn’t go down at night. Unless they have no AC in their home, this could be a surprise.
Yeah, but what about sleeping? There’s a funny Married with Children where they set up their lawn chairs in the grocery store to avoid the heat at home.
