None of my friends had next-day stuff. Everyone left for their honeymoon the next morning. In our case, close family & friends of my parents & in laws were invited to my parents’ house the next morning, where they opened our gifts. No one ever said we should have been there - it just wasn’t an expectation.
I agree that the sister & family should be invited to the dinner. It’s not like you are asking 25 or 50 extra people.
Do newly married couples really open wedding gifts the day of or after their wedding? With other family members there?
If so…we are totally out of the loop on that and it won’t be happening. Gifts will be brought back to our house after the wedding. But the wedding guests aren’t going to be invited for gift opening!
Have a day after brunch for your family and friends if you want to. I agree…bride and groom don’t need to be there.
I do agree that your sister should be invited to the rehearsal dinner given the circumstances.
Not familiar with that tradition either. Kiddo and SIL opened their gifts piecemeal. We got a “wow, are you sure you meant that” call maybe a week after the wedding. We began to worry that they lost the envelope with that check…
Thanks everyone I think I need to have a conversation with my son.
Maybe the opening gifts is a Midwestern thing. Every place has different customs. I can’t imagine that many will bring gifts but what do I know.
I hope no one will bring a gift to D1’s wedding. We wouldn’t know what to do. I hope everyone will have the sense to mail the gift or pick out something from the register.
Yes, the gift-opening brunch is a midwestern thing. I’ve been to several.
D’s wedding was in CA but the couple live in NY. Yes, despite the registry saying to send everything to NY, people still brought bulky gifts to the wedding and they were not on the registry. They took some back on other trips, but Goodwill got the rest.
We married across the country, left after the reception for a short honeymoon and my family had to bring back the gifts on their flights. Not only that, but they needed to open many, in order to pack sensibly. So be it.
The expression goes, “It’ll all be fine.” Roll with the punches, have fun. Be present enough to seal memories in your mind.
Hi all wedding moms and dads!! I recently started reading this thread (and the dress one) and am learning a ton - it’s a bit overwhelming but fun!!
My son is getting engaged in a month and we are a absolutely thrilled. He spoke to her parents (privately) in July about his intentions, so the FMOB and I have become phone friends already, which has been great. They are also over the moon about the upcoming engagement as they (thankfully) adore my son and love them as a couple.
Looking forward to following all the upcoming wedding updates and wishing all of you very happy wedding days!
Unfortunately, I think this is something you have to be prepared for. It’s an issue that my daughter’s day-of-wedding coordinator specifically brought up in one of their first conversations. And now that we’re almost to the day of the wedding, it seems obvious that some gifts will be brought to the venue. Quite a few people who would be expected to send gifts haven’t sent anything and haven’t used the registry, so we can only assume that a gift will be arriving with them.
We’re doing it this way: The wedding is being held at a hotel where my daughter is also staying. During or just after the reception, the coordinator will bring gifts up to my daughter’s guest room. (She will borrow a room key from my daughter for this purpose.) After the wedding is over, I will take any gifts that don’t fit in the bride’s and groom’s luggage and bring them home in my car. (The bride and groom don’t live within driving distance of the wedding venue, but I do.) I think this will work because it’s a small wedding, so any gifts should fit easily in my car. I’ll ship the gifts to the bride and groom later.
I realize that your situation is much more complex, @oldfort, because the venue isn’t a hotel and because both you and your daughter live far away. Also, your daughter’s wedding is much larger.
You have a wedding planner, don’t you? Perhaps the planner can suggest something.
I’m told my FDIL’s wedding planner has a similar plan. Our venue is not in the hotel either, like @oldfort, but the planner will make sure all gifts are on the return bus to the hotel and the MOB or I will deal with them as the couple is leaving for their honeymoon Monday afternoon directly from the hotel.
I’m heading out soon to drop the welcome boxes with the planner (for MOB guests not staying at the wedding hotel) and the hotel. Wedding weekend has begun!
@marian, I hope the day exceeds your expectations. To anyone else with a wedding this weekend, mazel tov!
Echoing @runnersmom hopes that the day exceeds expectations @Marian! Hugs too!
Good luck to you also @runnersmom. You got this!
Thanks to everyone who responded to me, I can’t tell you how helpful it has been.
I am renting a condo for the wedding and so will plan a brunch for the day after. I think that will be more welcoming and relaxed than going to a restaurant. Breakfast is easy to plan and make a few things for.
Not in my experience.
If things work out, it’s because people thought about them, planned for them, and made them work out. @oldfort is probably doing this right now with regard to gifts brought to the wedding. @deb922 is doing it with regard to figuring out ways to make her sister feel included and welcomed. We all do it with regard to the hundreds (thousands?) of details that make up a wedding. But I think that often we just don’t realize it.
Hugs, @Marian. I agree about details, my rule is that the first step in crisis management is crisis prevention. But we do what we can, then we need to try to breathe. We all want you and every other parent to enjoy their child’s wedding. It’s possible. It’s ok.
Best wishes to all.
Good luck to everyone who is having a wedding this weekend. I am sure it will be lovely and memorable. Can’t wait to hear the details.
I am going to discuss with D1 and the planner about the presents. I am wondering if by posting something on her wedding website would be a good way to inform people.
D’s day-of coordinator will put gifts in our car before the reception ends. I had planned to walk or Lyft to/from reception, but guess not. Oh,well … I don’t plan to get drunk in front of all those people, anyway! 
Marian, the only way I get through my life is prior preparation to prevent crises. When S1 got married, I had a 13 page list of tasks, broken out into each little piece.(That was the week’s tasks. Doesn’t count the many spreadsheets prior.) I was the day-of-coordinator and had friends who were helping. We did the food ourselves. Spent the ten days prior in full warzone readiness mode. DH does a lot of crisis simulations and systems anaylsis, and we just feed off the other’s paranoia and organization.
I intimately know the feeling of things never being good enough and when people express that good intentions were not adequate if something goes wrong. I wish you the best this weekend and that your labor of love for your D and new SIL is appreciated, at least by them.
@kelsmom yoir situation is fine in terms of loading presents as IIRC, your daughter and husband won’t be living far from where you live.
In our case, ALL gifts brought to the reception will need to be shipped to the couple far away…or they will get stored at my house…and really, I’m not thrilled about that either.
We are also hoping folks know the bride and groom well enough to know these logisitics. Since only family and friends who have met them are invited…the guests should know that the wedding is 1500 away from where these folks will live…and the smart thing to do is…ship any presents directly there.
I agree that it’s a nightmare when people bring presents to a wedding located “away” from where the couple actually lives. In this day & age, when shipping is so simple, I would hope very few people would do that. Fingers crossed that your D’s guests think this way, @thumper!
Try to remember to get the keys back, even though your spouse is probably also carrying a set. Have you seen what it costs to replace car keys these days?