2016 and beyond wedding moms and dads (Part 1)

Parent Cafe
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Remind me why people go through this? Thank goodness my s (the one I told last week he needed to communicate better) asked me about seating arrangements.

They never received a response from my H’s aunt who my mil told them wouldn’t come. Then my mil got in in her head to bring her. The kids had no idea, thankfully I did because mil had me get a hotel room for her and them. :((

Called mil and turns out she has memory problems that I didn’t know about and couldn’t be relied on to send in the response card.

And another family member who swore to me that she sent in the response cards for her adult children, nope never received.

Just another bump in the road :smiley:

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@greenwitch, so glad you had the tastings. I regret that my daughter and her husband were unable to have tastings for their food or cake. I think they would have made different choices if they had tasted the options.

@deb922, why do people go through this? I have no idea. Although my daughter’s wedding turned out mostly OK (and people who didn’t choose the one unpleasant entree have actually been complimentary), I don’t think it was worth the trouble and expense.

Also, re seating arrangements: If you must provide a poster-sized seating chart for the wedding, put the names in alphabetical order (each with a table number next to it) rather than listing them by table. I know this is not the way it’s done on most of the cutesy posters you see on Etsy, but it helps people find their names much quicker. This is one of the things that we did right without realizing it.

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We had a listing alphabetically and another listing by table number so the people signing folks in had both resources to help folks find their seat.

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Wedding report!!
Just like a travel report—

Friday evening D and FSIL (M)
checked into their super nice downtown hotel room
for two nights. Our gift to them is to pay for their wedding night. (ok–$850!!).

Their room was off of a private floor with a beautiful wide hall with skylights and art work.
One end had an alcove with plants and two high back chairs–good for pictures. The other
end had a “library” room with snacks, large fridge of ice and such.
The room was super large with a gorgeous high headboard on the bed. A number of chairs
and a table and opened onto a good size terrace with a city view. The terrace had high quality
love seats and a fire pi and was large.

From 6:30 until 9 they had an open house pizza party.
They purchased 4 styrofoam chests and filled them with ice from the hotel.
Wines and beers and seltzers were available. Many boxes of pizza and salads.
Guests arrived here and there and it was an intimate meet and greet evening.

At 9 the group went to the hotel bar where there was a small back room with two
seating areas in large booths. Our S and DIL arrived for this part of the evening which
made us happy as they drove down from Seattle when they could finally leave.

The couple paid for all drinks and everyone talked and talked and talked.
New people meeting one another.

The funniest part of the evening was that this lovely hotel bar has turned into
a Club on the weekends and the bouncers were something out of a movie.
The carding was serious and no joking was allowed. Getting through the crowd to
the restrooms was an event in itself. I think FMIL was a bit shell shocked.

What went right:
Everyone was relaxed and happy. The hotel room was perfect and large and attractive.
There was not a single awkward moment.
I did not take a cheese platter or anything at all which seemed odd for me.
I just let them do their thing. No dessert either. No food down in the bar.
So this is an “I thought it would be bad but they were absolutely correct”.

What went wrong:
The pizza place delivered the two main salads forgetting the dressing.
D found oil and vinegar in the mini bar foods as they are from Oregon.
So for $12 I was able to dress the salads. Seemed like an odd thing to have
in a mini bar!
I did not take a cheese platter or anything at all which seemed odd for me.
I just let them do their thing. No dessert either. No food down in the bar.
So this is an “I thought it would be bad but they were absolutely correct”

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Wedding weekend #2 part one :

The week had been scary regarding weather so it was a relief when the temps were no higher than
80 and the haze and ash from the local fires were gone. It was a touch humid and warm, just a little
more than desired.

Our hairdresser who is close to all of us arrived at the house at 9. She trimmed H and flat ironed
my hair. I was surprised but just a touch of a comb and it still looked good at 5.
S had hair down to the middle of his back. It is gorgeous brown black which wavy hair and he looked
great. This day he decided to have it all cut off. He now has a short stylish haircut. I think he really
enjoyed the attention that he received as all had met him the night before. DIL had her hair cut and
styled. She wore a brilliant blue dress and SIL had his new dark blue sporty clothes from Banana
Public. They are 25 and 27 while the bride and groom and guest are 33 and older.
I think that S and DIL had a ball all weekend. They looked and felt young and beautiful and it
was a delight to see.

I had made the guys boutonnieres the night before. D chose those yellow balls --billy buds?
It looked like weeds to me but they turned out well and I just made as many as I had even though
I was told to make 5.
I made the bouquet the morning.

H and I ran over to the restaurant and I began decorating the tables. 1/2 of the flowers were
dead. H went and got more. 1/2 of those were dead. H went and got more again.
In the light it all looked too simple and I was worried.

We went to the hotel and H joined the guys and I hung out with the woman in the room
with the photographer. I managed not to get into a tiff with her. She was only doing her job
and still I simply hate having a camera invaded the space.

Next part:

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Ceremony:

All guests arrived at 3:30 in the hotel lobby and waited for the bride and groom.
And waited and waited. It became tedious. I had said that water and coffee or champagne
needed to be offered but was vetoed. Finally a carload was sent to the park. This was mistake as then
they stood around the park forever with not water, etc.
Eventually all arrived at the park and waited there for the bride and groom. I had grabbed a few waters
and the recipients were happy. The bride and groom arrived and took yet more pictures.

The ceremony was sweet and lovely. They had a large white cover for the grass where they stood.
This park place is very isolated and is shaped like a peanut thus called the “peanut bowl”.
The days before there had been a homeless guy camping out at one end. He was gone when we
arrived but D and SIL did not care anyway. Two hikers walked through and there were a couple on
the trail above. This was not permitted which added to the fun.

Their vows were poetic and pretty. The “minister” was a close HS friend. There were three well
chosen reading and a guitarist plying in the back ground.
It was exactly what D and SIL wanted and had planned.

After, they took pictures and we waited and waited in the heat.

What went right–the ceremony, the setting, the people.

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Evening:
Began at a fun nice restaurant in a space that was perfect. A long table and many appetizers that
were delicious. The staff was great. SIL and I had talked things out and there were 22 glasses of water
already poured and two drinks–a Moscow Mule and an Old Fashioned already poured along with white and
red wine. This touch made it seamless with noone waiting for a drink while others move on. After this
folks ordered more drinks. The staff kept the food coming. Two toasts were given and one was simply
hysterical.

We moved on to the restaurant that the staff had the candles lite and the water poured (obviously have water
available is my issue) and a drink table with wine and mixed drinks waiting. There were two designated
staff and I was kindly told that the tables were beautiful and striking. Honestly, it was nothing more than
bud vases and single blooms and votive. The cake table had candles and a large vase of hydrangeas.The lighting is what made it look so intimate and warm.

The food was good. Flank stake or Salmon. Soup or Salad. Cake. Simple. Soup was luke warm.
Salad just ok but it was served properly and timely and it was a solid A- so all was good.

The cake cutting went well. The cake was vanilla vanilla. One layer cake 10". D had ordered these
silly cute toppers from Etsy made in Spain. They were figures of her, SIL and their dog. She put hair on
her bald husband. The female had no mouth so we made one of pink straight pins. I was to decorate
with flowers but in the end this plain simple white cake with these toppers looked just perfect. Also
something to talk about!

H gave a wonderful toast. FIL and two friends spoke, with one of SIL’s friends giving the perfect intimate
talk. All 6 toasts during the entire evening had humor and all were 4-8 minutes long. perfect.

The gang went on to a restaurant bar down the street and H and I and S and DIL went home.

What went well: EVERYTHING!!!

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To wrap up as I know this is more of a catharsis for me than anything.
The next morning they had folks drop by and served bagged brunches from the local
restaurant with lots of coffee. The sun was out everyone hung out for hours chatting.

It was a nice ending.
I had doubted this last piece but it wrapped up the weekend beautifully.

It was an very different wedding complete with a gorgeous dress and such but also
tiny and intimate and loads of fun. They had carefully picked their guests for this and it
paid off. Next Saturday in Boston they will have 106 guests dancing at a warehouse with tacos.
D will wear her dress. They see this as a party for SIL’s 35 and as a celebration for their
marriage.

I have so enjoyed this forum!

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Really enjoying reading everyone’s recaps!!! A Boston taco dance party sounds amazing.

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Well, one month ago today, Goskid #1 got married. Haven’t posted earlier because of travel…and I think I’m still on the wedding high. It was just purely magical and my D & SIL were just beaming and looking at each other with such joy and love…what more could this Mom ask for?

Leading up to the weekend was not so much fun. Goskid #2 moved 3000 miles away (boo) a month before wedding; bride’s great grandpa/my Gpa died two weeks before wedding; Gpa/my dad developed some heart problems and had to back out 10 days before wedding, which I was sad about, but also relieved that he didn’t travel; H’s brother and wife backed out 2 days before wedding for health issues. Add in that wedding was 2000 miles away (and silly us, decided to travel to our lake place 800 miles away after the wedding), the packing for a month was a challenge to say the least!

But…then… it all was wonderful! The rehearsal and dinner the night before were just loaded with excitement and energy. 235 guests (yikes!) the next day for the full mass ceremony at early afternoon ceremony in the stunning Basilica–just moving…and special in that the priest, altar boys, communion server and flower girls were all from groom’s family. There were a couple dozen of our friends that made the trek from the West Coast. We were thrilled (and touched).

The weather was superb and all guests enjoyed touring the couple’s alma mater after the ceremony and before the cocktail hour; the florist was a true artist and the ballroom was just stunning for the reception and dinner. The bride and groom did their first dance as their entrance song at the reception–took dance lessons to make it special and it was fantastic. The food was above par and servers were so prompt and pleasant.

D surprised H with the FOB dance to “I left my Heart in SF” (our home), the Judy Garland version. H has a tie to Judy G so he was truly touched that D chose this.

H and I then surprised the couple (and everyone there, I think ) with a song for them (a take off of a Hamilton song which the couple loves) …got a standing O, and it’s even got a couple hundred YouTube views after a pal posted video- ha! So memorable.

The DJ’s were awesome and seemed to really enjoy the event themselves. The dance floor was packed from start to finish. I think the late night hors de oeuvres aided in this. The after party went until 3:30–I couldn’t make it that long! The breakaway brunch was just delicious (and needed!) and a lovely way to say hello/thank you/good bye to everyone.

My D is very detail oriented and they seriously thought of and handled everything – thank God, because I would have failed miserably. D & SIL handled the printing of everything from the invitations to the programs to the table seating cards to the welcome bag notes-- and they were fabulous. The pre-wedding golf and the arranged campus tours were thoroughly enjoyed. And D’s new in-laws graciously stepped up to the plate to assist with local details when I couldn’t…we were sooooo grateful. As expected, there were a very few minor missteps/oops’s, but I’ll save those for later… :wink:

The photographer and videographer have recently supplied fabulous teaser pictures and trailers for the video…and I’m grateful…as it GOES. SO. FAST. So happy to re-live that mind blowing week-end and view people having fun. Can’t wait to see them all…

Feeling blessed and grateful for the wonderful weekend…and for our wonderful daughter and son in law. Hoping many others on this journey are as fortunate as we have been…

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Sounds wonderful, @gosmom. Thanks for sharing and congrats to you and your family! I’m impressed you and your husband sang in front of so many people and have the voices to do so! What a wonderful, personalized touch.

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@oregon101 and @gosmom, congratulations! Both weddings sound like they were absolutely wonderful, personal, and unforgettable events that will be remembered with love for many years to come. @oregon101, I know you have celebration, part 2 coming up, and I hope you will share details of that, as well!

Mazel tov to all who have weddings this coming weekend!

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@gosmom I love Hamilton so had to track down the YouTube video and WOW! If you and your H haven’t performed, you should - absolutely splendid.

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I love hearing the stories from those who have survived!

We got great news yesterday - D & FSIL originally were going to get married in our church in the suburbs & have the reception in the city (45 minutes - one hour drive). They finally came to their senses & decided to get married in the city. There is a wonderful church that does fabulous work in the city that is our denomination (I point this out because I am happy to give them money for the privilege of using their church) - it is walking distance to the venue & very near the hotel we are using. Our minister contacted them & they said we could use the church … IF there was no baseball game that day. They rent out their lot for the game, because the stadium is across the street. We have been waiting anxiously for the MLB schedules to be released. Yesterday was the day … and no home game that day. Woohoo!!

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@kelsmom, great news! I remember waiting for the NFL schedule to come out when my son was engaged. If there had been a home game, we would have never been able to get decent hotel rates and was worried airfare would be an issue also. Turned out there was a home game, but I went ahead and took care of a block or rooms as no one else understood the need :open_mouth: I had a friend, that had a friend that worked with group bookings at a great hotel. It was a good thing, as those that didn’t book early were stuck with really high hotel rates!

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@gosmom - it was beautiful. Maybe it could be your next act. The bride looked very nice from behind. :slight_smile:

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Gosmom. So sweet.

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I am new on this thread. My D will be getting married next fall in the Portland, OR area. We are in New Jersey, but the groom-to-be’s family is in the Oregon area, and he has 4 living grandparents (my D has none) so we have chosen to do a small wedding (about 50 pp) there, and then later a reception for our friends on the east coast. My D and her fiance live in Vermont. I have been given some venue ideas from the groom’s parents, but I’d like some more, especially in the city of Portland itself. Any west coast posters who can help me?

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@budgiemom Congratulations! I’m just a lurker on this thread who enjoys all the wedding talk. My kiddos are far from this stage. But I’m curious, did your D and FSIL choose Portland to make it easy on the grandparents?

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@gosmom . That was just precious! I don’t know you two got through that without crying! Brought tears to my eye, and so professional. You both have beautiful voices.