Zoosermom, your encouragement of forgiveness and building new relationships as adults is a beautiful thing, and a wonderful gift to your D and SIL. I know it truly comes from your heart.
You can also get a strapless bra with clear straps. While I have done that in the past, I do find the clear straps a bit irritating. When I make them tight enough to hold up the bra, they cut into my shoulders. That said, it works better when I don’t wear it in the summer, where I tend to get hot.
Watch out for,the clear straps. Photographers have told us…they stick out like a sore thumb in pictures.
A small PSA about bras: if you need straps to hold your bra in place, you are wearing a wrong size/style bra!!! If the bra fits, 95% of the support it provides should come from the band. Straps are there to make sure the bra is not sliding around your torso. Many women buy cheapo bras because that is a clothing item that is hidden out of sight. Wrong approach.
@BunsenBurner I agree with you to some extent, but with a strapless bra, I find some spillage without straps 
I’ve had a lumpectomy on one side, but have to purchase a bigger cup to accommodate the other side. Unless I buy a specialty bra, or custom made, I find strapless do not fit me well, and believe me, I have tried many! Also, if it is so tight that the band won’t slide around, it is too tight for me.
@zoosermom, I love that dress! And may I echo all the sentiments expressed here about the gift you are giving your FSIL by showing the way toward acceptance, if not forgiveness. My H’s family has been impacted in a very negative way by longstanding grudges and estrangements. In their case, though, it is far more passive aggressive and it creates chaos in all circumstances. I so hope he hears you and the wedding provides an opportunity for his mother to re-engage with her S in a positive way.
One if my friends has one of her kids marrying in Oct. I showed her the Linden dress and she loves it so I sent her the link via text. Unfortunately we don’t have a store in our state so she will have to order and alter or return.
@BunsenBurner , I assume your comment about not needing straps is aimed at women who are larger busted than I. The only bra that doesn’t need straps on this body is one that sticks on!
Id find ribbon like that on belt and have straps made under the illusion neckline. Then, put tabs on so a regular bra would work.
Strapless bras are very uncomfortable on me and honestly don’t provide the support I need. I have been fitted by many different places and “experts” and tried on many styles. There are basic laws of physics and gravity. If the band is very tight, breathing can get uncomfortable. If it isn’t tight enough, it doesn’t provide enough support. I suppose longer line bras and “Merry Widows” or similar might work but I prefer styles that work with traditional bras.
I have worn strapless bras on rare occasions and am NOT a fan. For better or worse, I am amply endowed and prefer a well-fitted bra that has fabric straps.
You have to look at places that sell Simone Perelle, Marie Jo, Prima Donna, and other Euro brands AND have them in stock in various sizes for trying on.
I’d go with flesh-colored straps if you must have them. In photos, they blend with the skin under the lace.
I wore flesh-colored straps under my wedding gown bodice. Did not show in the pics. Cannot wear a strapless for love or money.
Testy D tonight. H even noticed. She comes home from a long day of make up and another fitting and then
sits at the counter catching up on email. GF I have questions as they leave for the hotel at noon tomorrow.
Her last fitting was at noon and she was returning in rush hour traffic at 5:30 to pick it up and then leave it in
the back of the station wagon all evening. No thought to what if the car gets broken into…
So I drove there and the owner was aghast that she would do that…
I think the dress needs to be steamed. It looks all wrinkled to me. D’s attitude is shrug. The hotel will have a
steamer. UH NO call the store and ask what to do (no time to go back).
Not my wedding so letting this go.
FSIL texted H and myself in the afternoon asking if we will pick up the coffee for the brunch on Sunday.
Neither H nor I (independently) responded as we were separately thinking , “uh, no”. D and FSIL were
miffed as we have said we will do anything…but we are kinda doing too much. Anyway, decided S can do this.
I actually had not even decided if I would go to the hotel for sure–they are giving our breakfast bags as friends
leave for the airport randomly. No real gathering.
So just venting. Did have a good talk with H about our roles and got through to him that we are not
guests as they keep saying they want us to be.
I simply cannot wait until this is over. I have too little time on Saturday to get what things need to be done.
I do not think it will work out at all but it will be whatever it is.
Hugs @oregon101! Good luck, no advice just hugs!
Oh, @oregon101, I hope things fall into place and you can enjoy the day. I’ll be thinking of you…
@oregon101 hope the wedding weekend went well.
Somehow…our guest list increased from 126 to 152! It is fine…but I was surprised with that final count!
So…I don’t think we will,have an issue meeting the 90 person minimum 
D visited for a long weekend to visit with various vendors and taste food. What fun it all was, but exhausting.
We spent a good long lunch hour at the venue tasting various items for their vegetarian feast. D and future SIL don’t want any animals to die for their wedding. I expected the food to be lackluster but most of it was really, really good. Phew.
Also went cake tasting at 2 places. One wasn’t used to making vegan cakes and the samples were like hockey pucks covered in flavored crisco. (D isn’t vegan but she’s lactose intolerant). The other place was amazing. She gave us several samples of cake and 6 or so different toppings/fillings. Vanilla pastry cream, lime curd, passion fruit curd, etc. It was all excellent. Can’t wait for her cake. The bottom tier will be mocha amaretto with coffee simple syrup brushed on layers of almond cake with chocolate ganache and other lovely things. Top two tiers will be various fruit flavors.
Also, to our great joy, she found a dress! She already had 3 good options but wanted to look around more. We made 3 appointments and she found another good option at store #2. Then someone changed an appointment time so we dropped by one of those annoying giant wedding dress places that doesn’t take reservations. It was Friday and not crowded. First dress she tried on there, which I told her not to bother with (lol) was THE one. Yards and yards of lustrous silk, very simple, and suits her wonderfully. We decided to keep it a secret from all but her wedding party. This is getting very exciting.
I wish our head count would make a jump like that. We’ve yet to hear from about 40 people, but FSiL’s famiily expects most of them to decline.
Right now I wish I could rescind one invitation. One of my relatives has recently been spewing all sorts of nastiness on FB. I am tempted to tell him that at least half of the people coming to the wedding fall into the groups he clearly hates and perhaps he’d like to reconsider coming since he’d clearly be uncomfortable socializing with them. Dh would rather I trust that he will behave himself. Hope he’s right.
@silpat that’s our guest list. God knows how many will come. Maybe less??