“I think they were asking you if you had an idea, and maybe wanted to surprise son with some big themed cake.”
My son is the one relaying the question so there is no surprise there. They could have just asked him. Or maybe the question was supposed to be, “Do you want to pay extra for themed decoration?” Guess I’ll have to talk to FDIL to find out.
I am checking the reservations being made…it also is giving me a little sense of who will be attending.
But I’m not booking extra rooms. I already have six rooms booked in my name for two nights…for us…Nd the bridesmaids. I’m nit doing others.
But I am letting folks know…that if they don’t get an email confirmation…they need to call…again.
You may wish to alert the guests that they should call the hotel periodically, just to be sure that the reservations remain as they should, since you have had such mixed experiences thus far, as well as having them call until they get their written confirmation of their reservations so they have something in hand in case there are any problems.
@HImom yes…I’m alerting people.
I get a monthly report of the reservations…so I can easily see if anything has changed!
I have never had to plan a wedding but have had to deal with some wonky reservations staffs over the years. Most recently for DC, they gave me a rate that charged me for 3 nights and it SAID 3 night FREE! They refused to honor the reservation rate but did give me their lowest hotel rate and it was a nice hotel. They did the same for another guest who made her reservation because I recommended it.
I am not checking hotel reservations for our guests.
We picked blocks at 2 hotels, and a third one offered us a discount code. It is ridiculously complicated to use them. “Special price shows up after you check in” is not reassuring! We put on the wedding web site to PHONE the local hotel and make sure it is all set up and print out your email confirmation. Can’t be too paranoid after that. One of the hotels has an enormous bar as it’s front desk. If things go wrong, you may have some compensation…
thumper…the main hotel for my D’s wedding block (a very nice place!) had numerous screw ups…some of which were because guests tried to book online…and for some strange reason, even with a link, did not get the wedding block rate.
We also had to deal with a cancellation issue that created a little panic: On monthly report, noticed that SIL’s parents inadvertently booked Fri thru Mon, but really needed Thurs thru Sun. Advised them, and when they called to modify, reservations told them “oh, you have two rooms booked for Friday night”.
So D’s MIL told them to cancel the one room for Friday. Which hotel promptly cancelled. And room was snatched up as hotel was sold out for weekend.
Problem: My SIL and his dad have the same formal name ( but not Sr/Jr.). His mom cancelled the room where groom was going to stay the night before the wedding. Mom doesn’t call son by his formal name–and just didn’t think that, oh yeah, when he reserved the room, that he had to give the name on his credit card (the formal name). Oops. Panic ensued, back up plan had SIL rooming with my S who thankfully had a room with 2 Q’s. Last minute cancellation got the groom back to his private room. whew.
The hotel had so. many. problems. with reservations of those with the same last name! Really? For a large Catholic family wedding, half the people in the wedding block had the same last name! Reservations rarely asked for or confirmed by a reservation number when guests called to re-confirm their bookings, and the confirmations did not indicate bed situation (K, Q, etc.) so there were a lot of avoidable errors on hotels part. Yes, the hotel’s wedding coordinator was made aware before wedding and it was pointed out in the after wedding review.
Our venue for the rehearsal dinner may have to change. D decided she wanted a small rehearsal dinner, about 35-40 people. We chose a place owned by chefs A and B and they have since had a business breakup! Chef A fired chef B but chef B still owns part of the restaurant and is negotiating to buy it. Chef C is head chef there now and he’s great, but he’s decided to leave and join chef B. He’ll be gone in a week or so.
I had a panic until I looked at the contract and found that we could cancel any time that is at least 30 days from the event. We decided to wait and see for now and hope that chef B gets to buy out the whole restaurant.
This reminds me of a wedding venue we considered. It’s an old monastery but it’s in a residential neighborhood and it turns out that the neighbors have been complaining about noisy receptions. The venue was able to finagle exemptions to the noise ordinance by claiming that “religious services” were happening on site but people got wise to this. It’s also owned by a controversial political figure who is burning bridges left and right lately. Whew…
I think “Will your Mom be decorating the cake?” is just a literal, “Is there something important to you that she wants to have included?” Not, will she ice and trim it.
And booking an extra room or two could cover what gosmom ran into, I don’t think we’re suggesting you’re responsible for guests further down the list.
For godson’s wedding, if I could explain it simply, I’d share. We ended up playing musical rooms, to accommodate 2 key players. Luckily, MOG had one extra res (which she gave S2) and I shared with her, a friend got my room and we all laughed.
When I make hotel reservations for whatever event, if I don’t get an email confirmation, I always call the hotel to make sure I still have that reservation. But maybe that’s just me.
D’s hotel block is at a really nice hotel, part of a major chain. I am a member of their preferred guest program. I booked a room for the wedding, but then I realized I needed to add a night to the reservation. I tried to cancel so I could rebook, and it would not allow me to do that (citing “special rate” as the reason). I emailed the preferred guest program folks & asked them to change it. They would not do it, telling me I have to call them to do it. What a pain in the rear!! I am not happy with that. Luckily, my friend stayed in that hotel last weekend & said that it will be worth it.
Here is a bullet dodged: When D & FSIL were looking for a venue, they were seriously considering a restaurant in a hip suburban downtown area. They chose a different venue, and I am so happy they did. A couple weeks ago, the restaurant they had considered suddenly closed. I have to admit that I almost said something to them when they were considering it … because it seems the restaurants in that area often close after a few years. I was glad when they didn’t choose it, and now I am really glad!
I attended a wedding recently where the mother provided the bakery with trinket decorations to adorn the groom’s cake. He is a police officer and the topper was a flashing light.
OK. Lesson #1–pay no attention to the son who is relaying questions. I talked to FDIL and he was supposed to ask if I wanted to decorate the groom’s cake TABLE, not the cake itself. Son has some ideas so I agreed to leave it up to them. I will not get to the wedding town until a few hours before the ceremony because my D has to work that morning and she is riding with me.
How does one decorate a groom’s cake table? I live in an area where it is not a custom to have a groom’s cake. I think the first time I ever heard of it was watching Steel Magnolia where they had the red velvet bleeding armadillo cake.
It’s a custom around here, but like everything about weddings it’s now up to a new level. Growing up most rehearsals had a groom’s cake that reflected his tastes - something other than vanilla and buttercream that used to be so prevalent in wedding cakes. So that’s when there was chocolate or italian cream or carrot. Most that had personalized decorations were sheet cakes with slightly upscale decorations similar to theme birthday cakes. However in recent years the “cake that looks like something” seems to be in vogue. At one nieces wedding it was 3-D dog to match groom’s dog. At last one it was 3-D golf bag (not a fondant fan though). The most simple was small two-tiered cake at nephew’s wedding with sculpted bride and groom sloths on top.
All of these were at rehearsal. I have seen them at reception in different area, but not as common around here.
I have only seen them at receptions here in Texas, but I haven’t been to any rehearsals. The groom’s cake is usually some flavor other than vanilla. It is on a separate table and either the cake or the table or both are decorated in a theme that relates to the groom’s interests, hobbies, favorite team, or whatever. At a recent wedding I attended, the groom’s “cake” consisted of cake pops (balls of cake on a stick) decorated with fondant to look like fishing bobbers (red/white) and little fish arranged in a cute wooden boat.
I remember the groom’s cake at our wedding. It was a deep chocolate cake with a bit of banana flavor. Chocolate and espresso ganache. It disappeared in about 5 minutes, and our regular wedding cake was quite good! H is seen on video getting the first piece, taking a bite - a very happy face! - then he starts giving other people bites because it’s so good and he’s just a lovely person that way. He goes back for another piece and the cake is gone. Only his mother gives him a bite of hers, and she does it reluctantly! I never got a piece. I think I was talking.
It is one of our favorite memories. I tried to track down the pastry chef a few years ago, but he died rather young. Hired someone else to make a facsimile for H’s 50th birthday but it was dry and had overly rich and thick icing.
When I went to my uncle’s wedding, there was a groom’s cake (and I think it was fruit cake) and the tradition was to take a piece home in a little box. You were to put the box under your pillow and you’d dream of the man you would marry. I thought this was the coolest thing ever (hey, I was 8) and always swore I’d do this at my wedding.
@greenwitch my mom makes a cake with round sponge cake covered with banana slices, then covered with chocolate whipped cream. It’s yummy.