MOB and I also opted out of corsages in any form. We didn’t want them attached to our dresses, did not carry bags, and neither of us liked wristlets.
In HI, it’s often leis for the honored guests, tho I have also seen corsages and boutinnaires. Have not seen wristlets. It can be an issue if the flowers are strong scents and there are many highly allergic.
@jym626, good luck this weekend. You probably won’t have much time to post, but we want a full report on how everything went. You get extra credit from me for taking all the last minute issues, big and small, and just dealing with them as they come.
The band for bff’s wristlet was much too tight. She took it off as soon as possible, laid it on the table.
It’s nice if the wristlet could be adjustable, like tying with a ribbon or something so that it can be as tight or loose as desired.
I had a LOT of fun today. DD called me Sunday and asked if I could do her gift registry as she is very busy with school obligations. So, today I went to BBB and did it! It really was so much fun. They really don’t need a lot of things…but I got to pick out towels and sheets, glasses, cookware, knives. We can add to it if needed. I tried to pick a variety of price points.
They have already received a Kitchen Aid Mixer, Le Crueset casserole, some serving bowls, and some nice glasses.
Invitations will go out…next week!!
@1214mom - Thank you. Had a few other challenges today, but will power through. Yard guy’s crew were supposed to put fresh mulch and flowers in the front, side and back flowerbeds. Got home after work and saw essentially empty flowerbeds. Saw some mulch— but very few pansies. The flower beds are barren dirt. Um, NOT OK. Ran out and bought 11 flats of pansies but need more soil (was repurposing the soil in the pots from the summer tomato plants, but I ran out of time, energy and daylight (I was a filthy mess). My back is killing me. My planting job looks terrible and the yard guy was supposed to call me (I sent him photos of the empty beds and my 11 flats of pansies) but he never did. Don’t know if he plans to have his guys come and plant what I bought but I don’t have time to wait to hear from him so wil go out to buy more potting soil and do what I can in the morning (I only got 4 flats planted- 7 to go).
Have most of the beds made (assorted beds, trundles, sofa beds, air mattresses, etc). Haven’t assembled the pack’n plays (borrowed 2) yet or the last air mattress, which is for the Sat nite guest so that waits(since we need the space in the basement.)
A friend wants to bring her on again off again BF and is pressuring me. I feel badly, but we are ready at 20 more than we expected. She asked me a few days ago and said she knew I’d kill her, and I told her (she knew) we were already way over capacity for my house, and even as a drop in party, it’s going to be crowded.
He is supposed to take her to the airport after the brunch. Her condo is on the way to the airport from our house so it’s not like it will save them any time.
Help! I can’t decide what to do. DH wants me to leave it alone and not say we can fit one more person. She could well show up with him. I dont want to ruin a friendship, but until a few days ago she was not seeing him any more, and this brunch is not a “plus 1”. He doesnt know my kids. And the weather is not supposed to be good so we cant use the deck.
Ugh… its uncomfortable either way.
Invite him to come. You’ll never regret being kind.
Ask him to come early and plant flowers.
Now THEREs and idea!! He can plant the flowers! LOL
The challenge is that the house will already be uncomfortable with the # of people expected. It just makes it more uncomfortable trying to squeeze more. I am going to have the same issue with my next door neighbors who never said yes or no, as they “may be going out of town”. If they show up, they will probably bring their elementary school kid, and we aren’t having kids (other than the baby) We stopped checking in with people who never RSVP’d because we simply cant accommodate them. There are a few “maybe’s” of friends spouses who have had some health issues, and one who wants to be picked up, but my friends who live near her cannot do it. I have counted them as no’s. I cant imagine more people in the house.
When my friend texted me a few days ago she told me that she told him about the brunch and he wants to come, and even said that she texted me instead of called b/c she knew my response, and that she fully understood if we couldnt accommodate it and he’d get over it. I appreciated her understanding.
Today she tried the guilt thing. I think I am going to say that I feel badly enough as it is, really I do, and if the weather forecast improves or we get any cancellations, I’ll let her know. Its still 4 days away. She said they wouldnt eat much. I explained tht the food wasn’t the issue. My DH wants me to not respond further. I feel badly, bu really, the numbers we are anticipating are scary, and she is not the only person I’ve had to set a limit with.
@jym626 how stinky of your friend to pressure you.
I’m with your H, just don’t respond to her. If she asks why later, make the excuse that you were so busy getting the party ready and planting flowers. There is no reason to respond to an unreasonable request that you’ve already answered.
This isn’t about you, it’s about her. And her insecurity about being in the same room as her ex and new gf (wife?). Dare her to bring her on again/off again bf. I’m not sure I even believe the story that he begged to come. I wonder who begged?
@thumper1, I don’t doubt you had lots of fun setting up the registry, but I am slightly surprised your D & FSIL gave up that opportunity. They are obviously very busy if they passed on that fun activity. My SIL didn’t get too involved with wedding planning, but he did love going to set up their Macy’s & Williams-Sonoma registries and D couldn’t wait to get on that task when we finished wedding dress shopping at the first store after trying on dress #2. It sounds like you picked some winners.
Jym’s party is about the engaged couple, certainly not about what a friend’s on again bf wants. If you say nothing, you may be peeved anyway, when she brings him. Was your No clear enough? Is she a good enough “friend” to get it?
I don’t think there’s much more you can do now, you’re busy enough. But this really isn’t a simple “bring on another plate.” It’s not a neighborhood open house. After the party, you may reevaluate her.
Fun to do the registry— assuming you both have similar taste. The everyday dishes my DS and FDIL selected are nice, but they are green, which isn’t what I would have initially thought (and wouldnt have likely picked if I’d had the fun of doing the registry). My DS refuses to do a Macy’s registry. His reasoning is completely irrational, but despite the fact that we’ve said its easier on the guests and it is easy to return wedding registry items, he is standing firm.
They didnt have a lot on their registry and several friends have gotten stuff for the engagement shower (even though we said no gifts).
Latest snafu is our cooktop wasn’t working right this morning, but fortunately DH fixed it.
Thanks, @lookingforward and @deb922. Agreed I have other things to worry about. She is a longtime friend and hopefully it will all work out. I asked her what time her flight was, but she didnt specify- only said “Early afternoon sometime”. If thats the case, not sure she has time to stop by anyway!
Off to buy planting soil for the pansies.
@jym626 - good luck with flowers and friends as your special weekend approaches. Makes sense to leave it alone with your friend’s boyfriend. Who knows how many will show up and when? If you wind up 20 over, then 21 isn’t going to make a huge difference. Shame to be under that kind of pressure, though. At least he is a dilemma you can anticipate.
May the force be with you and your household! Should be fun.
Thanks, @travelnut. The lawn guy is sending over his crew to help me plant the 7 remaining flats of pansies… and they just arrived.
@jym626 - if you can survive this, you can survive anything! 
Good luck.
Thank you, @bunsenburner. Now if the weather forecast could kindly change to warm and sunny from 70%chance of rain, that would really help.
And something else broke tonight (a light fixture that is wired in weirdly over my built in computer desk area where I set up a coffee station for our guests. I had a backup bulb (it’s a weird size) but it wasn’t the bulb. Oh well.
Okay – I haven’t read all 5,000 posts. So just let me know if this has been covered.
My D1 is getting married in late Sept on the opposite coast from where I live. D2 and I plan to visit her over D2’s spring break (and I flew out shortly after the engagement last fall to celebrate with them – but probably wouldn’t have thought to do that if the groom hadn’t suggested that they come to my city to do that, but that was logistically daunting).
My question is about the bridal shower. Her MOH is the groom’s sister. She and the groom’s mom are planning a bridal shower, and pinged me today to see if/how I want to be involved in the planning. I’m thrilled to have them do it, and get along well with both of them. Couple have been dating for 10 years, so we all know each other fairly well.
Honestly – it hadn’t even occurred to me that I maybe should fly across the country for this event. How big an etiquette breach is it if I don’t go? From what I can tell I’m not expected to contribute financially for food, etc. Thoughts?