I come from a similar denomination and I feel the same way you do.
My D who is getting married in 2 months(!??!!) is having no vocal music and it does bother me. But you know that old expression that’s something like “if you are bothered by a toothache, have an elephant stomp on your foot?” Well. I THOUGHT I was bothered by no hymns until she met with our pastor and asked him to leave God out of the service. He politely declined, so my other D will officiate.
The other D, who is also getting married this year, is having a traditional ceremony in our denomination, including hymns and God, and her brother will be the ceremony musician.
You made me chuckle, @zoosermom - “including hymns and God.” D will have God in the ceremony, at least. Her fiance is a lapsed Catholic whose grandparents ares still pretty devout. I don’t know how they feel about a Protestant wedding, but they should thank their lucky stars that the ceremony is in a church at all – D wanted a church wedding, but the fiance wasn’t so keen.
D and future SIL will meet with the pastor this week to discuss details.
Encourage them to not ask the pastor to leave out God. It will be a happier outcome! (I’m really not kidding. She did that.)
I’m very curious to see what my D’s ceremony ends up like because they are “curating” it completely from start to finish. And she is a very, umm, unique and fascinating individual. Yeah! That’s what she is. That’s my description and I’m sticking to it.
Patiently waiting for RSVPs to all be received. I have a funny feeling I’m going to be making a lot of phone calls…I’ll probably try a tactful email first…I gave folks until May 1 for a May 27 wedding. So…I’m trying to be…patient.
Good luck, @thumper1. When so many neglect their replies and you have to practically pull teeth, I think it makes you a more considerate guest going forward in terms of being an early reply person, but maybe that’s just me. Your turnaround time between RSVP date and wedding isn’t too long in this day and age, so I will wish you well and hope you have more responsive guests than we did 2 years ago:)
Same experience as VH–almost everyone RSVP’d. Only ones who didn’t were single guy friends of my son-in-law. He had the job of calling the to get an answer. They all said yes, and they did come. I don’t know if they thought they didn’t have to respond or what???
Has anyone used a suit rental company for the groomsmen?
I have no clue as what my S and DIL are planning for ceremony. They aren’t sharing a lot of the details. I know they found an officiant that they both love.
Hear from one relative that another relative said she didn’t think she was invited. The save the date was sent to her husband and I know it was opened. I don’t know if he forgot to share with his wife or she was playing games. I sure hope I don’t have to chase people down. @zoosermom - your D sounds like a very interesting person.
As far as renting groomsmen (and groom) outfits, my D and her husband used https://theblacktux.com with excellent results. My niece and nephew also got married last year and they used them as well. Basically, you send in your suit size or measurements and the outfit shows up several weeks in advance. After the wedding, you just put in back in the box and return it. The company even includes tape to seal up the box.
^ My D and her H used Black Tux as well. With groomsmen across the country, it worked well. Returning was also a snap. The one glitch happened with my son–thank God I insisted that he try it on when it arrived…because the pants were too short…waaayyyy short. Quick phone call and replacement was at our door in 48 hours. Overall Bride and Groom were pleased with BT.
@snowball yes…she is replying for a family of four…two will be seated at one table…and two at another table. It’s not like they can swap plates if they get the wrong meal.
I sent her an email…and asked her to tell me who is eating what!
@thumper1 - i feel your pain. Our venue requires meal info by guest’s name, with an indicator to be put on the escort card (can be very discrete). We asked for initials next to meal selection on the RSVP when stationery designer was not thrilled with a list format with name and meal choice obvious. Our invites go out soon and your experience reinforces my fear of chaos. We did specify the number of seats "reserved in your honor " to minimize other kinds of confusion. I also am guessing that some families may have more than one member with the same initials. Fingers crossed.
Good luck with all the RSVPs. We found it was hard enough to get them to indicate the number of people that were attending! Our venue preferred menu choices in advance, but MOB decided to pay a slight premium to offer a menu choice at the table. The venue’s experience allowed them to estimate (pretty accurately, I was told) the amount of each entree they would need, without too much waste. Given the lighting in most reception venues, the identifier on the escort cards would need to be pretty obvious for the wait staff to see, and it would mean individual place cards, rather than couples indicated together. There are just so many moving parts at this point in the pre-wedding process, good luck to all who are navigating the post-invitation waters!
I know many people feel RSVP card is the proper way to go, but a card I got recently would allow me to put down additional people if I wanted, and that’s difficult for the host to manage.
For future weddings, people may want to consider doing it online. Not all wedding websites are created equal, some are more technically advanced than others and have more options. The one D1 is using would only allow invited guests to RSVP and they could RSVP for different events on the website. As an example, if you, husband and an adult child were invited, you could RSVP for you and husband to come to 3 events, and RSVP for your adult child to come to 2 events. You would only see events you are invited to and you could not add more people to your party. Everything is associated with an email. You can’t get on the website if you don’t have the right email address. Another benefit of D1’s web site is it is not open to public when people do search on the internet, whereas some websites allow public viewing.