Lots of new directions in weddings these days. The bride’s brother is officiating at DS’s wedding. That will be fun. Perhaps the bride walking with her mom would have been a symbol of solidarity, of togetherness. Just musing. Walking independently is fine, but the fact that the dad did what he did to this family causing such a fractionated relationship is what is sad.
In the spirit of “it’s the kids’ day”, I think any and all of there permutations sound wonderful. We had no idea how this was going to work since the relationship between the bride and her father was certainly better than that between her mother and her ex, but in the end, both walked her down the aisle in the Jewish tradition and he stood under the chuppah. It probably helped that he did contribute to the cost of the wedding and my DIL and MOB had remained close to members of his family. As long as the bride feels secure and comfortable with whatever decision she and the groom make, I think it’s paramount for everyone else to support that decision. My only asterisk is that I totally understand if there is concern that an estranged parent (M or F) will disrupt the day…then there may be someone who can work with the bride/groom to make sure their understanding of that person’s behavior is balanced with a need/desire to include that parent.
Just adding…the logistics of those welcome bags can be a problem if everyone isn’t staying near the same place.
When my nephew got married, they did welcome bags…and the MOG actually did them. She had to find out where everyone was staying…I think there were six or seven different hotels in all…plus some folks stayed with friends or relatives. The day before the wedding, she drove all around to deliver these to the hotels. Even with that…some folks never got them.
All of this for a map of the area, a bottle of water, some candy and granola bars, and some aspirin?
We decided not to do them. We have folks staying at three different hotels that we know about, folks staying with relatives, and folks staying at Airbnb all over the place.
We are doing a nice welcome letter with infomation about the weekend, as well as things to do and places to eat nearby. We will take them to the two hotels where most are staying…and have extra copies at the Meet and Greet the night before the wedding.
My son is getting married in August. They are having a mother/son and father/daughter dance. My son loved Disney movies so we are thinking maybe “You’ll be in My Heart” from Tarzan (a short version). They are also doing some sort of anniversary dance. Where I guess you start out with all the couples married 60 years or more (my in-laws and my aunt and uncle are both married 60+ years), and then 50,40,30,etc… I am sure I am not explaining it right. My mom gave my son dancing lessons for Christmas, although I don’t think they have gone yet.
@tx5athome I think you have it backwards…you start out with everyone…then the DJ asks folks married 20 years of more to stay. Then 30 years or more. Then 40…then 50.
Everyone else leaves the dance floor and the couple married the longest is left dancing.
It’s really very sweet!
@thumper1 Hmmm, I will double check.
S and DIL did the anniversary dance at their wedding knowing my mom and dad would be the last left dancing with them. The did not want to do the bouquet/garter thing, so DIL presented my mom with her bouquet at the end of the dance. Very sweet.
DIL’s parents are both deceased (H and I hosted all events) and her grandma, with tears rolling down her face, walked her down the aisle. There was not a dry eye in the house. DIL had asked me if I would be upset if we skipped the formal mother/son dance. I assured her that as long as I had a dance with S sometime during the night, no announcement, spotlight or show was necessary. At some point, I did dance with S while H danced with our new DIL.
D1 is doing welcome bags people who are staying at hotels where we have blocked rooms will have their bags delivered. Rest of the bags will be at the welcome party the night before for people to pick up. So no driving around for us. Almost all of our guests will arrive the night before, so they will be at the welcome party.
That is sweet, @my-3-sons.
We were at a wedding 2 weekends ago where people stayed at several different locations. They had a hospitality room in the mail hotel and all bags for people not staying there were in that room.
Do most of you give a welcome bag to each individual guest or each family unit (one per couple)?
One per person. The groom wants to include a local beer, so at least one beer per person, only for adults.
Hmmm… I’ve typically seen one per couple.
One per couple for us…
We did one per couple except in the few cases where friends (not a couple) were sharing a room, I made one for each person. Ours were only provided at the main hotel but the wedding planner volunteered to deliver a few to the hotel where the FOB/his guests was staying. Since she was doing the work, I was willing to make a few more.
D1 said it is hard to share aspirins and beer. They kind of go together
If you have one bag…you need to include two of each item.
My SIL said it was easier to have one per person…because than all,the bags wer the same.
The above is true…but depending on what’s going in the bags it can become expensive. For example, I made miniature mason-type jars (3 oz., I think) filled with custom m&ms. I budgeted for one per couple, thus one box per couple. I included two bottles of water, clearly. Given I knew who was in each room (provided by our hotel contact), it wasn’t too difficult to customize them in the few cases where it was necessary. I then added name labels and room numbers…the boxes were distributed at check-in for no additional charge.
The last out of town wedding we attended they gave each guest a bag. The bags were at the welcome dinner. The guests who didn’t come to the welcome dinner were able to get a bag before the ceremony. The bag contained sunscreen, water, sunglasses and Kind bars. The sunglasses were the only miss in the bag. I think they are more a teen party item.
I’m not sure what S and FDIL are doing. I know that my friend offered to make the bags.
Ok, how many weddings are “in town.” I think almost every wedding requires some traveling. My nephew married someone from Bermuda, so we all traveled there. A good friend is traveling all the way from HI to come to D1 wedding. She has 2 kids, so I am hoping when her kids get married it would be in NYC.
“I made miniature mason-type jars (3 oz., I think) filled with custom m&ms. I budgeted for one per couple”
Gives new meaning to the term marriage penalty - first taxes now having to share the m&ms. 