At my daughter’s wedding, the groom walked down the aisle first and the bride last (with both sets of parents in between). Nobody minded.
People are a lot more flexible now than they used to be, except perhaps for church weddings.
At my own wedding, I handed my bouquet to my grandmother (who was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s) instead of my maid of honor because I thought my grandmother would enjoy holding it during the ceremony. An amazing number of people criticized me for this afterward. At my daughter’s wedding, she didn’t even have a maid of honor, and she handed her bouquet to me during the actual ceremony (we had reserved a front-row aisle seat for me for just this purpose). Nobody objected.
D1 asked both of us to walk her down. This weekend I mentioned we needed to make sure the aisle is wide enough to fit all three of us as her skirt is very wide. I was responded with eye rolling and, “It is already taken care of. The aisle will be 8 ft wide.” I could tell we are getting down to the wire. I am going to practice, “It sounds perfect,” with a smile.
Well, we are down to the wire too - three and a half weeks! I am getting lots of texts/phone calls about seating at the reception and what liquor to stock for the open bar.
Believe it or not, EVERYONE RSVP’d. No last-minute stragglers for us to chase down!
D has asked me to read the scripture at the wedding ceremony, and I was oddly touched. True to her nature, she doesn’t want to have the “standard” I Corinthians passage read (…because “everyone reads that at their wedding”…) but is looking at other selections. I will read whatever she wants me to read, and I will try my best not to trip when I walk up to the lectern.
D wanted both of us to walk her down aisle. I had looked at previous weddings photos taken in same venue and the ones with both parents, looked cramped and awkward. (Permanently fixed seats). I pointed out to her and asked if it wouldn’t be better if it was just her and H. She agreed…luckily, because I really wanted to watch her coming down the aisle.
SIL escorted his parents down the aisle and then went to altar; then the attendants and then D & H.
Actually, can’t think of any recent weddings where the groom DIDN"T walk down aisle. Years ago, I recall they all entered from the side at front of church.
@travelnut ,
we will do what DS want and surely we’ll know in advance of the wedding day. I do hear that FDIL’s fa is being invited, but has no role in the events. Will be interesting… She plans to stick to her plan of walking alone.
We are deciding how to do this. I don’t like just the father escorting the bride. It smacks too much of ‘giving’ the bride away, it’s old-fashioned, and it leaves the mother out. But having both parents walking the bride down the aisle, with the bride in the middle, you can’t see the bride that well.
I think I’ll suggest having the bride walk down the aisle by herself. It says to me: independence, free will, strong.
@TatinG -I think anything goes as far as how the bride and groom walk down the aisle.
I’m not sure how S and his fiancé are planning. I hope both H and I get to walk him down the aisle, but it’s similar to @jym626 that the bride will most likely just have her Mom in attendance and if the dad is even invited he will not be walking at her side. I hadn’t even thought about grandparents.
My S did send me a screenshot of the invite he is designing. I offered a few suggestions that I could tell he wasn’t happy with. He is all about the design whereas I am also about making sure the invitation is clear and includes all the relevant information. His feeling is he gives the link to the website and that has detailed info. I did get good news is that they have hired a week of coordinator.
My D is getting married next year and we went up this weekend and did a food tasting with the caterer she is leaning towards using. I’m finding it’s much easier being MOB.
@TatinG , I guess it depends on one frames it. I felt my H was escorting my strong, independent D from the first part of her life on to the next part. The priest did not mention anything like “who gives this woman…”. As far as leaving mother out…hmmm…I felt I had the special honor of being escorted by my S, the last one before the processional music started. I also had the honor of standing and signaling the guests to stand as my D & H entered. And watching her come down the aisle, beaming, was unforgettable, priceless. (And watching my H try to hold it together ) Old fashioned? So be it…this worked for us.
I would not have had a problem if my D wanted to walk alone…
My son and his fiancé discussed the procession with the venue wedding planner at the “tasting” at the venue in December (for the August wedding). From what I understand, the plan is for my husband and I to walk first, then my son will walk the bride’s mother down the aisle, then the bridesmaids and groomsmen, then the ring-bearers (my 5 year-old great-nephew and our family dog), and then finally the bride and her father.
DH and I were each escorted by our parents. I also circled the chuppah seven times, which freaked out the Reform rabbi a bit (so traditional!). He warned me I’d lose count as I was circling, and he was right. Cracked a big grin when I got the panicked look on my face.
S1 stood on the staircase and waited. DIL was escorted by her dad. All of us parents sat together.
@CountingDown, my not very observant S and DIL did a modern version of the circling, which led them to be quite dizzy - she circled him 7 times, he circled her 7 times and then they made 7 circles together! Her mom and I were pretty much cracking up as we watched them count under their breath and then watched her try not to step on the train of her gown as the two of them went round and round! I loved the idea that they were nodding towards generations of tradition while still putting their own stamp on the ceremony.
My daughter told her now husband (a Brit and not Jewish) that they would have a Jewish wedding, but he was to be involved in the planning. His only request for the ceremony, was to “get married under the little house,” “smash the glass” and “be lifted in the chair.” He got all his wishes, except the pork bbq; that got changed to brisket! My daughter did circle, and I have seen many a bride counting under their breath and doing their best not to step on their dress.
For my son’t wedding, both my husband and I walked him down the aisle, but only my husband walked my daughter down. My SIL came in from the side with his groomsman as that is what is typically done in the UK. My very large Jewish crowd thought nothing of it!
I just thought of something that my MIL did as our wedding pictures in the church were wrapping up. She wanted a picture of her H, Her, and their 4 sons. My H was in a different colored tux. Instead of just asking me if I wouldn’t mind if she used my photographer to take the picture, she was catching him on the way out, and sort of sneaky. It turns out the picture was blurry…who takes a ‘family picture’ like that w/o either the bride or the groom? So much for coming together…however we continue to be happily married 39 years later. I would have been fine with her picture request. I was not fine with her manipulation.
As some of you get closer to the big day, I’ve realized that communication with the photographer is key. As the months have passed, we realized that the photographer the kids chose rushed the family pictures, and as a result they look it. There is also no picture of both families together, something my S and DIL have mentioned since then. They fell in love with her “style” and her candids are amazing, but if you want some of the more formal and traditional wedding pictures, be sure your photographer knows and leaves time.
We are down to the last month and everything is coming together. The RSVPs are all in and we’re just doing the last details. The day of will be insane since D is curating the venue personally and has a staggering amount of stuff. But it will be stunning.
Future SIL’s parents are hideously divorced, so a plan for seating/walking had to be arranged. What was decided is that groom and his father will walk together directly in front of his mother and brother. Parents will be seated and then groom and best man will walk to the altar. Then the PBK will seat me and join them and the rest of the groomsmen - who will be in their place before the groom/family walk down. Then the bridesmaids. The MOH is also the officiant, so she will step behind the altar table and the bride and her dad will walk down. The bride and dad are besties, so their walk together was always a given. I expect to be in a puddle of joyful tears.
I can’t believe that D’s wedding is 4 weeks from Friday!
The latest setback in my world is that my brother had a stroke (brain bleed, both hemispheres) last week. He is doing okay with that, but I think that something happened to his brain that allowed us to actually talk with him about his mess of a life & get him to admit that he needs help. The problem is, we can’t provide the kind of help he needs - he needs to be monitored by professionals until he can work through some very difficult mental things - and the health care system seems to be working against us, rather than with us. I won’t go into the whole sad story, but suffice it to say that the stress may do me in. I want to enjoy the wedding, so I am going to have to work hard to make the time in my life for that.
) Old fashioned? So be it…this worked for us.