Check out that website and consider asking them all to wear the same kind of shirt (collar and placket) and tie. Perhaps the groom can gift them matching cufflinks and studs…that would give a cohesive look even if the jacket styles vary. My take is that if they are all traditional black tuxedos and the accessories match, then there should not be a discordant look.
@rebeccar, how about telling the men in the wedding party “If you own a black tux and it’s conventional in style, feel free to wear it. If you need to rent a tux, go to __________.”
I don’t think the dads need to match the other guys.
Sounds like the “wear your own” tux will be fine. You can suggest they wear the same color vest/bowtie/cummerbund
if you want them to look similar. I think DH is just wearing a suit.
DS#1 and wife had beautiful photo albums made. Ours sits on our coffee table. We also printed some photos and framed them. The photographer made all the photos available on line but to be honest I don’t recall how to access them anymore. But I do look at the photo album on the coffee table. Not sure what DS#2 plans.
“I wasn’t sure if it made sense to have everyone rent a second one when there is a possibly-perfectly-good option in the closet.”
I think it would be too much to expect people to shell out for a rental just to match perfectly if they already own a tux. Most guys who own a tux will have a much better fit than they’d get from a rental as well. I don’t think a lot of rental tuxes look too great, personally.
The vast majority of guests aren’t going to look with such a critical eye at every little detail as those involved in planning the wedding do. They want a good vibe, good food, good drink, good music, and they want to have fun. Nobody is going to get out the magnifying glass and scrutinize your photos to notice that all the tuxes aren’t exactly the same. With that in mind, I wouldn’t want the males who already have perfectly good black tuxes to shell out more money for a rental.
I agree it doesn’t need to be matchy matchy.
But are you having a formal wedding? The dads can wear what they own but perhaps the groomsmen do match. Plus tuxes they now own could be a little worn or faded. I don’t have sons but friends whose boys had them for performances or whatever did occasionally replace them for the updated, newer appearance.
@rebeccar - do you know what the waiters will be wearing?
The date for our RSVPs has come and gone. I am dumbfounded by the people who didn’t bother to check a box ‘regretfully decline’ and mail the card. The envelope was addressed and stamped. Sadly they are mostly the people in their 20’s. Did they never learn how to do this? There are people I know who are coming (the hotel shows them booked) who didn’t bother, but most are not coming, I would guess.
I really don’t want to have to call around.
D just told me that 2 of the people who said yes from FSIL’s family just told them they can’t make it. We had to confirm the number last week, so we have to pay for those meals. Now I need to decide if I should invite a couple of my coworkers to come have a fun evening.
We did invite a few people at the very last minute when some people had to decline after accepting. There were no hard feelings re: last minute and they were genuinely happy to celebrate the kids.
Paid the final bills today! Woohoo.
@TatinG my FSIL said the same thing. He had people call him and ask
“So…what are the meal choices.” (Which were very clearly printed on the response card)
But my favorite…
“What date is the wedding?”
FSIL says…people don’t read. I agree.
We have all of our RSVPs except one…but we will have it by next week do sure. Our venue is fine with that!
The RSVP not yet received is my elder favorite cousin…ready? He owns a huge and highly regarded catering business that specializes in special events…like weddings.
Oy!
Ok…so I added and added my bill and really, I think the venue goofed…and I owe them another $600 or so. I emailed them with the numbers I have.
I’m sure I’ll hear tomorrow!
@thumper1 The bridesmaid who was making herself scarce confirmed?
@doschicos I got her food choice. That’s all I needed!
Well, D is married and I’m back with the report!
It was an amazing, emotional, uplifting day - and surprisingly stress-free. DH and I arrived in town about four days ahead of time to help with last-minute chores and errands, but there was actually very little left to do. (Leave it to my super-organized daughter!) Mostly we just hung out with DD and future son-in-law to run interference when any crises arose…but there weren’t many of those, either.
During the ceremony, DD was radiant and the happiest I’ve ever seen her; my new son-in-law burst into tears as D and her dad walked down the aisle. My husband and I aren’t very emotional people, but we both had tears in our eyes all during the ceremony too. And I didn’t trip when I went up to read the Scripture lesson!
The reception was flawless - the food was great, my husband’s speech was great (there was even a side-long poke at all the Vikings fans there from a Packers owner), and the party was great. I don’t usually drink, but I did that night; I don’t usually dance, but I danced with H and my family all night. It was magical.
And did I say that I looked the BEST I’ve ever looked (not that it’s all about me)? The make-up artist and hairstylist that my daughter hired worked some magic of their own. I keep looking at the pictures my brother took and thinking “is that really me?”
I know that this kind of report isn’t much fun if there aren’t any horror stories to tell, but no one got drunk and danced on the tables, no one acted like a prima donna, and no one misbehaved.
The most surprising thing to me is how emotional I STILL feel. I’m on the verge of tears all the time, even here at work. I’m sure part of it is the death of my mother so recently (6 weeks ago) and so suddenly; of course I thought about her all during the wedding day festivities, and being with my remaining family was sweet but so melancholy. (Really, there’s just my brother, sister, and their small families now - it feels like we’re shrinking.) Plus, everything felt so perfect on Saturday and I felt so close to D and my family…and now I’m wondering when we’ll all be together again.
Anyway, that’s it. I’m now the proud “owner” of a son-in-law!
Congratulations Scout59! I’m so very happy for you. What a great recap!
My D’s wedding is this Saturday, and I know what you mean about bittersweet. I’m grieving my mother and sister very hard - especially since I won’t have any of my family of origin in attendance. I’m going to appreciate my husband’s family and the non-biological folks who will be sharing the day.
The vision is really coming together. I should have had more faith in my daughter. It’s very historically architectural - brick walls, tin ceilings, dramatic moldings. The color palette is misty gray with jewel tones and gold accents. She is personally curating every table and they will be all different, with jewel-toned tapers in silver candelabra and lots of mercury glass.
Congratulations @scout59, it sounds like it was a magical weekend! Those memories will trigger smiles and tears for a long while…it’s been 9 months and I still smile (seemingly without cause to those around me!) when I remember particular moments from our S’s wedding last September.
And @zoosermom, it sounds like your D is creating a very special environment indeed for her upcoming wedding. I hope that when you are surrounded by your children, H, and close friends on this special day you will take comfort in knowing that your your mom and sister are there in you…meta, I know, but I do believe my dad was with us and smiling on S’s wedding day.
runnersmom, I do believe it! Thank you for the kind words.
D’s wedding is in 3 days. I am so excited! It is bittersweet in that I recently lost my brother and my favorite uncle, FIL can’t make the trip, favorite cousins have a conflict & can’t attend, parents and another brother are no longer with us … I am trying to focus on those who will be with us, and that is a wonderful group of people. Everything is in order. We filled the 2 spots left by last minute backer-outers with my coworker & her husband, who were thrilled to be asked. D talked S into walking me down the aisle, which is pretty major (he doesn’t like to be in the spotlight). Bills are all paid, and all appointments are confirmed. The weather report looks promising, but this is Michigan, so that part could change - but it will be wonderful, no matter what.
Great report @scout59!! Sounds wonderful!
My son and his fiancé are addressing their invitations. The guest list was supposed to be 150 and final count is 217. Although I know several on my side who have said they can’t make it, so hopefully it will work out.