@cap and others. I just talked to a friend who had her daughters wedding at the same venue as ours. They clearly stipulate…NO tipping to any of their staff. No one.
I’m hoping the wedding planner is the exception. She really has done so much for us.
So, that is officially off my list.
We will tip the makeup and hair stylists. The florist is into 5 figures, so we probably won’t tip the florist 15%. D1 said we will tip the banquet manager if she goes over and beyond (meaning giving us some freebies and extra services).
So I negotiated with all vendors that they wouldn’t get paid until the day of, but D1 decided to pay them ahead because she didn’t want to deal with it the day of. The reason she is paying…she wanted to get points for all payments. Her whole honeymoon is funded by the points (no need for gofundme). I could have used those points for my vacation after her wedding.
Laugh of the day…we got our last RSVP today (a no…which is a good thing because that’s what we assumed).
If a ten percent tip is in the four figures, I would consider the price to be enough that a tip is unnecessary. If you can afford a tip & want to give one, though, go for it.
Did any of the rest of you watch the weather forecasts? Ours is flipping between rain all day to cloudy. But it will be cool…high in the low 60’s. Even though our ceremony is short, we will be discussing the indoor options again today…our rehearsal is today!!
It looks like 80% chance of rain. If you have indoor options, you may want to consider.
@oldfort yep…that’s the plan…we have two indoor options. Just need to pick the one we want to use.
@thumper1, when do you have to make the call? Sunday of Labor Day weekend was grey and rainy all day…at 3pm it was threatening again, but not raining. The zoo staff wasn’t going to set up the chairs for the wedding until 4:30pm because that’s when the area was closed to the public, so we had a very late deadline to make the indoor/outdoor decision. In our case, we went with outside and the sky turned blue and the sun peeked out right at 6pm as the wedding began, but it was a nerve-wracking few hours. On the other hand, if you like the indoor options, I’m not sure it was worth the stress.
I think we need to decide before 3 on Sunday. I’ll ask that today.
But really with high temps at bout 62…indoors might be getter anyway.
Unless the couple is bound and determined to be outside, that sounds like a more comfortable plan. Cool with even the possibility of precipitation is probably the least desirable condition for a wedding. Good luck, have fun, and best wishes to your D and FSIL!
@thumper, our weather forecast last week was 68 degrees and some rain. During the week, it changed to 58 degrees and mostly cloudy. The day before, the forecast was 58 degrees and partly cloudy. When the day came, it was in the mid 60’s and gloriously sunny. It clouded up (but was still bright out) and cooled off just a bit around 5 pm, which was perfect for post-wedding outdoor pictures. I wish you the same luck! 
Oh my, there are some very pricey weddings going on - in part with expensive areas of the country. The wedding of our nephew with 80 guests probably cost at least triple as much as DD’s wedding with 160 guests in the South (DD had a nice dinner reception and live jazz band, but due to knowing a lot of area vendors and having church facilities, lower costs) - in part as a destination wedding (Estes Park CO) - however I imagine Denver (where the couple lives, but few other guests live) would have been about equal in pricing to their destination.
Wedding spending is a bit like the college spending - some can afford many options and decide they want to have the experiences they want.
Lots of conflicting information about wedding tip protocal. Clearly, it varies by venue regulations and region, as well has how contracts are written. On florists, many sites suggest you do not tip if you worked with the business owner. Of course, more staff are involved in conditioning the flowers, creating arrangements, delivery and set up, as well as breakdown and clean up. Additionally, right after the statements about not tipping owners comes the remark that tips for exceptional service are always appreciated. A bit of a mixed message.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and agree that in today’s world, positive reviews are deeply appreciated. Will definitely do them for all vendors who do as well on the wedding day as they have in the planning phases. Also like the idea of doing something for the staff as they work on the wedding. Perhaps leaving one sum for the owner to distribute fairly may be another idea, though I do not see it as a standard tip 15-20% situation.
Fingers crossed for good weather for all, and failing that, for the ability to make a clear decision. Our venue requires a decision by noon the day before to allow for an otherwise unnecessary tent to be set up. Hope we are not in limbo…Hate to forfeit the “fair weather” plan unnecessarily.
I think we have to make the indoor outdoor decision by 3 to allow time to set up the chairs…wherever. It’s looking like indoors will be the plan.
One of my friends said her kid gave the wedding planner an envelope of $100 bills to give to the waitstaff, and others at the venue. That. Isn’t. Happening. Here.
Our flowers are from a grocery store. The gal who is doing them is doing a lot of extra work for us. She lives near us…the store an hour away. She has met me near where we both live for a variety of things. She is actually delivering and setting up our flowers on her way home from work that day. She will get a tip.
The only tip I’m waffling about is the band. The lead guy has been amazing. I feel like we should tip them! But my son, the musician, says…not expected. We will see!
This morning was nail spa day. So much fun. Right now it’s 90 degrees outside, and the girls are all up at our lake. Thank goodness for the lake. It’s mighty hot! The house they are staying in has AC. Lucky them!
I think a grocery gal doing flowers can need the tip, that gratitude, she’s probably earning close to minimum wage. It’s not usually that rep’s own business. That’s similat to servers who go beyhond to ensure a a fine time. Small wages.
But in your case, thumper, you’ve wondered about the band for some time, right? And your son knows these people? I think I’d be quite tempted to give them the tip, if all works out as expected. Plus, they’re going to lug in their equipment and instruents.
One of my kids works occasional event gigs like weddings to earn some extra $. Pay is $20/hour so it’s not like they are making a below minimum wage hourly rate like many waiters or even minimum wage although they certainly won’t get rich either. Plus, it isn’t an 8 hour shift.
If @thumper1’s son is a musician and he feels they shouldn’t be tipped, I think I’d differ to him.
The wedding venue my DDs own had a wedding last weekend. The bride was determined it was going to be outside, so the bridal party and guests all had clear umbrellas. It stopped raining at ceremony time, but many of the photos before and after have the umbrellas and are wonderful pictures. DD said the bride was very calm about the whole thing.
The musicians in the band are each getting paid over $700 for a five hour gig. Of course, this doesn’t include any practice time. They are not charging us travel time or expenses because we are local to them. They are also being given the same dinner as the guests.
My son doesn’t know the band members.
The grocery florist is actually the floral manager…but it doesn’t matter. She totally has earned a tip.
We had our rehearsal tonight and the wedding planner orchestrated the whole thing…including both indoor and outdoor options. She is fabulous.
The venue tables are all set up for our wedding and they look great…spread out nicely in the space. It will be fun to see them with the garlands and candles added.
$700 each? Oh, my. I guess I don’t know how many, though I know it can cost a few thousand, total. Ok. I’m sure you’ll make the right decisions for you.
Best wishes for a great weekend.
I just had this conversation about the cost of band versus DJ with friends of mine whose children are getting married next year. When my S and DIL looked at bands for their wedding in NYC, the cost of any band they liked was well into 5 figures for 5 hours. The DJ they ultimately booked (and who was fabulous) was half the price and took up far less space in the venue. What I learned was that the region of the country makes a huge difference. My business partner’s S is getting married in Philadelphia next fall, and their band costs less than our DJ did. As to the original question, the DJ worked for himself and my kids did not tip him.