We did a variation…we paid for one night of the hotel. Wedding party paid for second night at the hotel, and all incidentals.
There was one room where we paid for both nights. The hotel took my credit card, but on check in, the occupants had to give a credit card for incidentals only. Those were not charged to my credit card.
I think all hotels will allow that arrangement.
With apologies for length: DD’s wedding was a great time. DH and I hosted most of the weekend, with the events taking place two hours from our home and 4 hours from DD’s and her now husband’s place. We arrived the day before the rehearsal and were glad to have the time to settle in.
DD got married at a coastal inn, with lovely grounds and views. Luckily, the weather cooperated. DH and I stayed there to have a base of operations. DD and her DH hosted their wedding party members in nearby hotels. Rehearsal dinner for 50 was in a separate event room of a casual restaurant that the wedding coordinator decorated in a travel theme. The restaurant blew the under-staffed event; I attempted to finesse it and people focussed on socializing, hopefully unaware of everything that was going down. We liked the contrast between the less formal rehearsal dinner and the wedding. “Kids” had an after party post-rehearsal dinner, in the same place. We booked it for the rest of the Saturday evening so they would be situated with food, music and a comfortable space. The rehearsal dinner was very early (5-8); it wound up being a smart idea to have all the fun and yet not be out super late.
Day of the wedding (120 guests) had all of the bridal party, D’s MIL and I in DD’s hotel conference room doing hair and make up. Their crew was stellar; the hotel put out a small breakfast and I brought sparkling cider and champagne. We were happy to have no photography while the real work of getting ready took place. We had a large van for transport to the venue, where DD was to put on her gown. Van returned to pick up groomsmen while we got settled. Photographer was with DH in our room on site while we rode over, getting shots of jewelry, invitation suite, gown, veil, etc. Photographer is amazing; a true artist who is fun to work with. This bi-cultural wedding day saw DD in her wedding gown initially for photos and first look, then in a colorful, gown for a tradition from the groom’s culture and then back in the wedding gown for their western ceremony. It was busy!
Before “game time” lots of photos in various groupings were taken, and the B/G did their private first look. Then, it was into the other gown for the fun of the groom’s traditional arrival, accompanied by drums, music and dance. Kudos to the guests who dove into the unfamiliar and danced it out. Afterwards, folks relaxed on the lawn and DD got in her bridal gown for the ceremony. The string quartet did a great job. Officiant forgot the most recent copy of their original vows, but they made it work. SILs vows knocked me over. On to cocktail hour on the lawn, followed by the reception with lots of DJ music, a dance performance by several members of the groom’s extended family, musician DH playing a song of daughter’s request that got everyone moving, a F/D dance and a couple of toasts. We included families and had 13 kids under 12 to share the fun. Eight were in the bridal party, yet in a low key way.
It was a lot to keep my eye on and as you know, it can feel like a blur. In talking with friends , I keep hearing about nice details I missed. The additional wedding coordinator and her assistant were critical. Not all was perfect; a few things were missed and we just moved right along. The setting was gorgeous, the florist earned rave reviews, the food was about as good as catering gets, the cake was a beautiful ivory color blend of subtle patterns from DD’s gown and groom’s culture, with a delicate sugar branch of pale flowers and buds, and the fiery sunset over the water was an added bonus. The couple was thrilled, the dance floor rocked all night and the wedding was unique for all participants. I was pleased by guest reports that it was a “warm” event.
The next day, the groom’s family hosted a casual early lunch of their traditional foods so that people could say their goodbyes. While all were tired, it was low-key and fun. DD and I could fill a book with what we learned planning. We never knew it would be so complicated, but we always knew it would be worth it in the end.
Sounds stellar! Sounds like you and the couple did a great job of weaving cultural notes from your SIL’s heritage into the events. Congrats, @travelnut!
Wow! Great report @travelnut
Thanks for sharing. Congratulations. Sounds like a great wedding. Yes, I can also now fill with dos and don’ts.
Excellent @travelnut it sounds like a wonderful time was had by everyone! That’s what matters.
Maybe we should start another thread about the do’s and donts! I have a small list too!
I would love a list of do’s and don’t’s.
@travelnut - the wedding sounded wonderful. We went to wedding last year that was multi cultural with two dresses and two ceremonies. The Indian portion was great fun, loved the music, drums and dancing of the grooms parade.
D’s wedding included Arabic music and dancing interspersed with the “regular” music - the DJ did a great job of mixing it all together in just the right doses. Everyone loved it … except my neighbors, who left early because of “that darn Arabic music stuff.” I chose to feel sorry for them rather than be upset. I figure it must be so difficult to be so narrow minded.
So an update to the wedding dress saga for my level-headed, plan-ahead future DIL. For review: She ordered way in advance, wrong dress arrived, late, she got a refund, now less than two months before the wedding, she went shopping for a dress Sunday with her Mom and bought a dress that was “fine”. Well evidently she went shopping yesterday with a friend and bought another dress. MOB is not thrilled. I am happy that she found a dress that makes her happy, and am glad I am not MOB.
@travelnut, congratulations! Sounds like a wonderful and meaningful day was had by all.
Congrats, @travelnut! Wounds wonderful!
It has been so helpful to hear what others on this thread found workable or best. There are as many “right” ways to plan a wedding as there are couples, seasons, budgets and preferences. The amount of time, effort and/or resources that are required depending on each individual decision made were not always evident up-front, no fault of anyone.
For example, DD decided to custom design her invitation suite with a stationery company. She wanted to incorporate groom’s culture (where invites are very significant) with her seaside location, rehearsal dinner invites to some, info cards, rsvps, envelopes with liners, etc.and have visual harmony in the final product. Despite her pragmatism (she is a closer by temperament), the back and forth of proofs for everything, including envelope addresses, probably took 10 hours a week for about a month. Neither of us anticipated it; fine if a priority, but if time and dollars are to be saved, there are many shorter distances between two points.
This is the nuanced info that may be helpful to hear when resources, including time, are at a premium. Her stationery company was very competent, but the process elaborate.
Accidental post; perhaps pre-mature. Left in the spirit of info for those just starting, in case it is apt for them. Of course, YMMV.
We are now 2 weeks away from DS’s wedding. Spoke to bride’s mom at length yesterday. She and I are both dealing with health issues which hopefully will be better by then! There are details she and I feel/hope the kids will do . She plans to talk to her daughter and give m the skinny 
They have had to do some juggling with seating as her mom’s friends/family can’t be seated with dad’s family (sad) which has made for some interesting seating, but it’s fine . I went shopping for shawls to wear with my dress as it will be cool at night. I am also narrowing down what to wear for Fri night and Sun brunch. Still 6 lbs from goal but down 10 lbs. Ill take it.
Ack, typo, @travelnut. It SOUNDS wonderful. No wounds, I hope!
http://www.revolve.com/jill-jill-stuart-two-tone-v-neck-gown-in-concord-grape-black-currant/dp/JILR-WD94/
This is my MOG dress. I’m at a loss for what shoes and what to wear for a wrap.
Venue is redwoods and ceremony will be outdoors with wooded ground. Reception is on concrete and dancing indoors. I’m not a regular wearer of dressy shoes. I normally wear Teva, Toms, Flat sandals or running shoes. I’m no longer working and most days I live in exercise clothing so my usual shoe is a Hoka running shoe. Luckily the venue prevents me from wearing a skinny high heel shoe. Any suggestions for a comfortable shoe that works with the dress and the outdoor venue.
Also what would you wear once the sun goes down and it cools off? If a pashmina what color?
What about a nice cashmere wrap. They are cozy and come in a variety of colors.
I feel you go Pashmina, you probably will be able to find a print that has the colors of your dress.
I’m no fashion maven…at all…but I recently wore a cream color cashmere wrap to a wedding event. I was very happy to have the option of something warm.
It will be cool when the sun goes down, @mom60- will you be having them set up the gas heat lamps where the tables are set up?
@jym626 I hope they are getting heat lamps. I’ll have to ask. Did you do the movie night after the Friday night dinner?
@thumper1 hadn’t thought about a print pashmina.
I’m thinking strappy gold or copper toned sandals, either flat or a small heel if you feel comfortable with it.
The dress is beautiful!
We had the Friday night “BBQ” ( it was a beautiful buffet, not a BBQ). And then they did s’mores at the fire pits. Don’t recall a movie option. They did do yoga on the deck Saturday morning and breakfast outside for those who stayed on site. Wedding night did get cool, and they had some throws available on the seating area outside the area where the dancing and cake cutting was. Sunday brunch was on the field where the BBQ was. Definitely tell them ahead of time that you want the heat lamps. Turned out they didn’t have the propane tanks filled which I now remember is why they didn’t turn them on Friday!