One thing I do remember from older s’s wedding— he pulled out his phone to read his vows that he’d written. It startled me for about a millisecond as I was, I guess, expecting a piece of paper, not a phone. Guess I am old school. In the long run, the wedding isn’t about us or our wishes. Its their day. I remember once someone said a wedding was a party for the parents and their friends where the bride and groom are invited. IMO that is really sad if its seen that way.
You know, it’s not worth letting yourself get upset about. We all understand your frustration, but enjoy the great parts.
@toledo- thinking that having the food/drink process fragmented into isolated decision trees is more provocative than when a full food service venue is chosen. In our initial meeting, we were told up front that for a wedding for x number of guests, with an appropriate amount of apps, dinners and drinks, for y amount of time, your commitment amount to the venue is $******. That amount could be distributed as it made sense when plans were finalized and headcount determined (with decor and lighting upgrades, food, extra tents, alcohol, some-more kits for the fire pit, etc. Your final amount may or may not be different; it just feels worse as the actual requirements surface over time.
As to music, I think I can make everyone feel better. Our DD who doesn’t dwell in the land of music (and had an excellent string quartet for the ceremony and cocktail hour) gave us "Here Comes the Bride " as her recessional music. Uh, no. When I told her guests were likely to comment on how she kept her cool when the musicians “messed up”, she got it. Recessional was a fairly current song that worked well as an up-beat string instrumental, processionals for wedding party and the bride were classical pieces. The music has to suit the couple; but for the irony of receding to “Here Comes…”, my lips would have been sealed.
IMO, it’s up to the bride and groom to make the final choices. Parents can voice their opinion, but in the end it is the bride and grooms wedding, not yours. Whether they want to play the Masters song or the theme from Barney, it should be up to them.
Well, at least it wasn’t the Barney theme song ;). (now having the “I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family” earworm running through my head!)
Egads! @jym626 - what if he hadn’t gotten a signal at that moment and couldn’t retrieve his vows?
Oh there was no signal where we were. He had a screenshot I believe.
LOL @CottonTales - we both came up with the same earworm song!! I hadnt seen your post when I also posted the Barney song! Maybe the recessional would then be the. Barney cleanup song?
LOL@jym626, that is strange! I thought you were responding to my post. Wow, that show really got stuck in our heads.
Yup- Barney… and Raffi songs @CottonTales
maybe it should have been the recessional, @travelnut ? 
The clean up song is for the end of the reception.
Getting a chuckle over the Barney & Raffi references.
I’m also of the opinion that bride & groom should get to choose their music. The Masters theme has meaning for the groom so why wouldn’t they use it. Also, if that’s the music before Here Comes the Bride, it’s likely that the guests will be so focused on waiting to see the bride that they may not even notice.
S1 and DIL had a lovely instrumental piece from Harry Potter. She was able to get the sheet music for the string portion of the contradance band.
@intparent, the only person who will focus on this is you. I have no idea what was played at my S’s wedding last September and I can guarantee, neither do any of the guests. I know my S and DIL picked the music, that the processional was something classical, the bride entered to something classical (not Wagner), and the recessional was a contemporary rock song, without lyrics, all played by a wonderful string quartet. I was not consulted on any part of the ceremony (except to be asked whether I would want to stand under the chuppah) and had no idea there would be readings chosen by their friends (including “Will You Be My Penguin?”), a children’s story. The couple curated the ceremony, together with their officiant, and it was the most wonderful, amazing, personal experience for all involved.
My D is getting married in December and her brother is playing all the ceremony music. He’s been working on arrangements of traditional Christmas carols and Disney songs for the clarinet. We got to sit in church last week and listed. Absolutely amazing.
Once again I’m reminded of things I have no idea what my S and fiancé are planning. I know they are having the Dj do the procession music as they could not afford musicians. I have no clue as to what music they have selected. Nor do I have a clue about the ceremony.
They have asked the MOB and me to have a pre ceremony snack item. The idea being it be a favorite snack of the bride and one of the groom. It needs to be easy to transport, won’t spoil, easy to set up and easy to eat and will work with a napkin only. The thought is for the guests to have a small snack when they arrive at the ceremony site. I have no clue as to what he wants. I know they want homemade but I live 6 hours from the venue. I don’t want to be baking cookies the day before I leave. On the other hand I don’t want to disappoint my S.
My D finally found a dress after trying many. Both my girls need to get their dresses altered. My S has his suit ha going at my house which needs hemming. None of them seem to get the idea of not waiting till the last minute.
@toledo regarding appetizers- my D is getting married next year and her first catering bid had just one appetizer. I insisted it wasn’t enough. I pushed for at least three. They will be passed. My D hates how the crudités and cheese trays look after the guests start hitting the tray so she vetoed that. We also found with both catering companies we got bids from that the stationary appetizer boards were expensive. Enough appetizers is my wedding pet peeve.
We had three passed appetizers: bruschetta and goat cheese, pot stickers with ginger sauce and gouda stuffed mushrooms.
When I mentioned a Star War/Trek song, picked by son, I was joking. Now I’m reading about Disney songs, Harry Potter, and other non-classical or pop songs. The lesson is for me to butt out.
This thread is so helpful. I asked for a list of the venues they will be seeing. I promised I would offer no,opinions. I hope I can be quiet when they get down to menu. It truly is the couples’ day.
Or the lesson is to butt in early… wishing I had.