A very good friend had a DJ who did her church wedding music. It was really lovely. He wasn’t at the rehearsal either…but the church had a wedding person who just cued him. If he has done wedding ceremonies before, I wouldn’t worry about that.
We met with the DJ, string players, photographers, videographers, and the planner few days before the wedding. We walked through the program with them - who and when speeches were going to be made. On the day of, it was the planner who cued everyone, which included when people were going to walk down the aisle and when music should be played.
@intparent - if you have a planner you can have her do the cuing. Even if there is no planner, make sure you have someone by the entrance to “fluff” the bride’s dress. The maid of honor will not be available to do that because she will walk down the aisle before the bride. D1 volunteered to do that for her sister-in-law without being asked. She also stopped some late guests from running down the aisle ahead of the bride.
Sister’s niece also had a DJ for her ceremony. He did not attend the rehearsal, but set up in the morning and came 1.5 hours before ceremony. He did sound checks with his equipment and with the soloist. I was the planner, so I gave him the ceremony order, what songs when, and cued everyone. He could see me and the people in the wedding. I also fluffed the bride’s dress. It all went very smoothly.
Yes. It worked out fine.
He set up his equipment in the courtyard where the ceremony was to be held, played random pieces of music while people were waiting, and then switched to the processional music when the day-of-wedding coordinator signaled him.
There was no rehearsal. Nobody had even met the DJ before (my daughter and her fiance interviewed him by phone because they live far away from the place where the wedding was held). But he’s a professional. And it wasn’t difficult for him. The ceremony and reception were in the same hotel, and there was a cocktail hour in between when he had no responsibilities.
A DJ may open up a bigger song list than a band.
My friend was in a wedding band. They were quite popular, but as the members aged and their real jobs became more demanding (my friend was a lawyer and CPA, ran the legal tax dept of a major bank), they became much less flexible in what they would do. They did one wedding per month. They had a set list of songs, and while they’d leave out ones you didn’t want, they weren’t taking requests or learning anything new. Take it or leave it. They easily booked their 12 weddings a year so a lot of people ‘took’ it.
A DJ can more easily add the ethnic music people want to honor another culture, or change the tempo of a reception that is going too slow. A wedding I went to recently didn’t even have a DJ, just an ipod with songs the (very young) couple had chosen; it was great and just the dance music they wanted.
First dance question — before or after dinner usually?
For the newlyweds? Ours did their first dance after they entered the ballroom and were introduced as husband and wife. They danced their first dance…just them…and then sat down at the sweetheart table.
Dinner was then served.
The father/daughter dance was after dinner.
Our D cut the cake after the couple entered & was introduced. I have said before that the day flew by so quickly, and the first dance proves it … I honestly don’t remember. I think it was right after dinner. D & new H danced, then she danced with her dad, then he danced with his mom. That was it … everyone was invited to dance at that point. So I guess it was right after dinner!
First dance: when they were introduced and entered ballroom. Then sat down to dinner.
Likewise - couple entered and immediately began dancing.
I think ours was similar to thumper1, but honestly I am not sure. Because DS felt that they didnt want to interrupt the dancing with the meal, so they may have done their dance when they entered and then sat at the sweetheart table, and then after dinner they did again?? Because as I said above, he danced with me, DH with his wife, DS#1 with his wife and his inlaws (sisters/brother) and their significant others all kinda ended up on the dance floor.
I don’t recall most of the weddings I’ve been to having anyone, either the DJ or the band–emceeing, and I don’t recall any set father daughter dances, mother son dances, or whatever. The most I recall is the couple starting their first dance, and then after a few moments everyone else joining in.
But in the last couple of decades I’ve only been to family weddings, and my family isn’t into that. Sidesteps a lot of issues, I gather. 
D1 and SIL danced as soon as they entered the venue because they wanted to get it over and done with. It was a choreographed dance. There was no dancing again until after the dinner. Speeches were done during dinner in between courses.
The two weddings I’ve been to in the last couple of years (family friends) both had father/daughter and mother/son dances. Those were the first weddings I had been to in quite awhile as no nieces, nephews , etc . getting married yet. The dances were lovely, very poignant.
I think S will have a mother/son dance and a Mother/daughter dance. Future DIL was mainly raised by a single Mom and Dad is not invited to wedding. My S asked me to suggest a song for our dance. So far I’ve come up with Child of Mine by Carole King.
We went with S to his alterations appointment and we helped him order a tie online. They are coming over this week to ask for some assistance on table assignments. We have a few cousins who don’t 100% get along with their siblings. This week m going to my hairstylist and we will play around with some ideas for my hair. We will photograph and I’ll show stylist up in destination city.
I think my stress is beginning as I had a nightmare last night that the ceremony got so far behind that it didn’t start till 10 pm.
I still need to figure out what type of container and what I’m putting in hospitality bags.
Edit to add- they are using just a DJ, he will play ceremony music as well as reception.
Dollar stores have solid-color gift bags, about 6-8 for a buck. Bags were a bit bigger than a lunch bad and have handles.
@mom60, one of D’s best friends from college has a business creating custom items for weddings, parties, etc. - think personalized labels for gift bags, water bottles, wine bottles, popcorn bags, donut bags, on and on and on… I’m sure there are lots of these types of businesses on Etsy. I think D got labels from her friend for the gift bags which she bought locally at a dollar type store. I think D also ordered personalized koozies with initials & wedding date to go in the bags from her friend. I’d be glad to supply the name of the business if you PM me, but again, I think there are probably lots of these businesses on Etsy, so I’m not trying to push the business I know about.
Mom60, I’m like that mom who raised her son as a single mom. Now my son wants to know why his dad dropped out of his life. I’ve never said a negative thing about his father and don’t want to start now. His father wouldn’t come to the wedding, just like he never responded to any inquiry or other invitation. I suspect your future DIL has many emotions about this topic.
@mom60, would they consider having a mother/son dance, and then have your son dance with the bride’s mom and your H dance with the bride. It could be the same song.
D1 and her father started the father/daughter dance then the groom asked me to dance half way through. It was a pleasant surprised to me.
@intparent, I think doing the first dance early is a good idea, so then other people can get up and start dancing whenever they’d like.