Thumper, I’m sure you are right. People will adjust. They want any date next summer, thru October.
I know they had 9 venues in mind. One is a nature museum, another is an arboretum. I think both of these are best during the day. Still, if I start asking questions about the availability of these places, they could think I’m being disagreeable. I also don’t know how many of these venues they have seen this weekend, but I know they have 2 favorites. I have to hold back just calling the other places to,check on availability
There are a fair number of wedding movies, to name a few 27 Dresses, Table 19, The Wedding Singer, the MIL movie with Jane Fonda, Maid of Honor; I am sure there are others. I don’t suggest looking at any of those when thinking about what wedding drama can take place or what can go wrong…
What the couple wants, what the budget allows in the wedding venue area, and number of guests is the start. Some plan way ahead. Many typically in the 6 months plus time - some can get a wedding gown more quickly than the 4 - 6 months if able to alter something off the rack or have a heirloom dress that fits.
Knowing the guests is also good in the planning. Our DD’s wedding had some family on both sides, a few of the parents’ friends, and most was the couple’s friends in their location.
A sore spot with us is the long time the couple has had in getting their wedding thank you notes out - it is embarrassing to both H and me. SIL doesn’t want to do a quick type of note, so he does them slowly (I still think he has not done a few to his family members), but also drags it out - instead of writing a few each day and pacing himself. DD just says “we’re not going to talk about it”. She wasn’t quick with her end of the thank you notes, but did know to get them out. They had a baby within a year, and DD did pull together a nice announcement - which she sent out along with thank you notes from baby gifts received. All I can say is yikes. However it is what it is.
Our daughter completed her thank you notes very quickly…someone (not me) told her they needed to be done within 30 days of the wedding! So…that’s what she did!
We went to a wedding in mid May…and I’m still waiting on a thank you note from that couple. It was a small wedding. The MOG (my friend) asked me about this…but I figure I’ll give it some time. Really…all I want to know is that they received our gift.
We have the last of five weddings since May in just two weeks. Whew!
D and SIL just went to a wedding two weekends back that was on a Friday. It was a long drive, so they went halfway on Wednesday afternoon and then arrived on Thursday in time for pre-wedding festivities. They drove the whole way back on Saturday and I think they were okay with the schedule as they had Sunday for a recovery & get organized day at home before going back to work. They knew almost a year in advance that the wedding would be on a Friday and planned accordingly.
We just got a thank you note from a wedding several months back. It thanked us for “our gifts”. We gave one gift and they didn’t specifically mention the item. Who knows if they even know what we gave them? I guess I’m asking too much to expect mention of the specific item we gifted - a KitchenAid mixer off their registry, btw.
A KitchenAid mixer is a substantial gift, IMHO. If they couldn’t remember who gave it to them they asked for and received too much stuff!
I’m happy to say that H and I got our thank you notes out within two weeks of the wedding.
It’s funny how some couples seem to be able to attend multiple events where they get a gift with ease but are “too busy” to pull together a simple thank you note:
Dear X and Y,
DW/DH and I thank you for sharing our wedding day, and for your generous gift of X. We will think of you every time we use it. [amend language for cash gifts, honeymoon funds, etc.]
DS booked their venue in May’17 for August ‘18 and got the last Saturday available. The venue also regularly does Friday night weddings. I think a Friday would be fine. A lot of people have more flexibility, especially in the summer months. They can take a vacation day, work remotely, etc… My daughter and her boyfriend are going to a wedding this Friday night and then another wedding Saturday (4 hours apart).
Regarding no Saturday nights next summer, I’m not too surprised at this point in some areas. What about a brunch wedding or going out into Sept? People who have to travel are a lot less likely to make it to a Friday wedding. And out of town attendants then have to take an extra day off work because they need to rehearse on Thursday.
The poster looking for a Saturday date clarified and said any time in summer to October.
If travel is an issue for the bridal party and a rehearsal…perhaps the rehearsal could be the morning of the wedding. It doesn’t have to be the night before.
Really…if you start making wedding plans based on the availability of all of those who might attend, you could end up banging your head against a wall.
Personally, I only care to know that a shower, engagement or wedding gift I sent was received. Personal thank yous are lovely, but as long as I know the gift was received, that’s good enough. That’s why its easier to send a check. You know when it is cashed
A good friend of mine came over last night to shop for a dress in my closet. She’s a wedding guest so it wasn’t crucial, but she’s had a lot of weddings to go to and she’s tired of her own closet. She chose two dresses, and they had been my first alternates for my D’s wedding and rehearsal. I can’t tell you how please I am that she found something she liked! And these haven’t been worn yet so I don’t feel so silly for not having returned them.
The venue where my daughter’s wedding was held holds Friday evening weddings often; I believe Friday is actually a less expensive rental. I think if you know your guest list, and know people will make the effort, it can work out just fine.The B&G just need to decide if the venue, date or guest list is the most important to them.
We had too many our of town guest, mainly the B&G friends, that Friday night would have been difficult if we wanted people to be in town the night before for any type of welcome party. That said, most could have made it work if necessary. I think with so many friends getting married all over the country, and even out of the country, the young people are always having to take time off of work; many do not have the PTO available so they have to pick and chose which weddings to attend. My daughter chose the Sunday of Labor Day so that people didn’t have to miss too many days of work. One of her bridesmaids was a school counselor, so she could not be here until Friday night, so this worked perfectly.
I am still waiting for a thank you from my niece who was married last March. I don’t know if she received the gift. I finally asked my sister about it a week ago. She didn’t know if it was received, she did know that the thank you’s had not been written yet. She also said that they didn’t know who some of the gifts were from because the store had not put the giver’s name on the receipt/packing slip when they shipped it.
DS and DIL ordered their thank you notes from the place where the wedding invitations came from (it was a package deal), and used a photo from their wedding on the cover. So (A) they had to wait 'til they got a photo (fortunately the photographer sent a nice “teaser” they could use since the rest of the wedding photos were just received last week, 2 mos after the wedding) and (B) they had to wait for the thank you notes to arrive. They have been working on the thank you notes and hopefully they have been sent. But… hmm. come to think of it, we haven’t seen one yet. [-(
One friend had their engagement present sent to the store (BB&B) and the store never notified them, so I am glad that friend asked if they’d received it, as obviously they hadn’t.
@bajamm It boggles my mind when the recipient receives a gift without a gift card, and does not contact the store! My DIL received a car seat shipped to her work without a card and my son mentioned they didn’t know who sent it. You would have thought I had two head when I suggested they contact the store! The gift sat at their house for two weeks before someone inquired if the gift had arrived during her baby shower The only reason I knew about it as they thought my mother might have sent it as it was a more expensive gift than they would have expected from a friend.
On another note, my daughter received a wedding gift from a dear friend of mine that was expensive. Also in the box was a broken Mikasa bowl that was not on the registry nor anything similar to any registered items. I knew this friend would not have throw in a odd item like that, so it was a bit of a mystery. Contacting Macy’s took hours of my time trying to find out if this might have been sent in mistake, or was purchased by a different guest. Long story short, we still don’t know where it came from and Macy’s replaced the item with an unbroken one. I truly think it got put in the box in error and was not purchased by a wedding guest, but we will never know.
I am not surprised that dates a year out are taken. An Napa/Sonoma event planner told me that really 18 to 24 months is starting to become the new normal, especially for popular venues and for popular wedding months (April thru September). And photographers, florists, caterers and bands are booking far in advance as well.
The only reason I knew about it as they thought my mother might have sent it as it was a more expensive gift than they would have expected from a friend.