My D also just got her dress! She saw it online. She called a local shop that had it, tried it on (along with a few others… She had already tried on about 20 dresses at 2 other shops last month. I also tried to remake H’s mom’s 60yo dress, but it was clearly never going to be what D had in mind, so I put aside that project.)
This dress was clearly the best-- we both felt it. D had seen a couple used ones online, but the sizes were too big, and she was unsure how the dress could be altered to fit. Then she found a new/unworn/with tags in her size on eBay–for about half the price of the one in the shop. Best of all, she paid for it herself! (If you knew my D, you’d understand why that surprised me.) It arrived quickly, fits perfectly. I think there will be no alterations. She just needs to find the right shoes with 2.5" heels.
Other planning is at a standstill. D lives in Italy and is returning there now. I hope she can get the church she wants. A priest over there actually told her to have a civil ceremony in US beforehand to avoid complex paperwork there. This is generally against church teaching, but they will probably do this at our home around Christmas-- just sign the papers. But they wouldn’t actually consider themselves married until after the wedding next summer.
One hurdle done, @atomom! Congrats!
DD got her dress and shoes, too! She was able to get employee discount at BHLDN during employee appreciation sale and after ordering 3 dresses to try, the one was an obvious winner. No alterations needed. They had first call with immigration attorney to discuss best process for reducing amount of time to get him a green card. Now they have a path to start their planning.
What’s BHLDN?
Its the dress shop (very reasonably priced) through Anthropologie.
But in fact they will be legally married as soon as they have the civil ceremony – which may matter for taxes, insurance, etc.
When D1 got married, she needed to apply for a license and it was good for X days and it had to be signed by the person who officiated the wedding then it was sent back to the city hall to be filed.
I do agree it would be easier to have an US marriage certificate than a foreign one. I’ve had to use my marriage license for various applications. If it is in a foreign language then it would need to be translated and notarized.
My friend’s son got married in Poland. They had a civil ceremony in the U.S. several months in advance of the Catholic Church ceremony in Poland. They were advised that it was the best way to do it. Yes, they were legally married after the civil ceremony, but they considered the church ceremony their official wedding.
D’s dress is already in—8 weeks after she ordered it! 11 months until the wedding.
She will try it on, pay the balance, and I will bring it home. My BFF from 6th grade is a beautiful seamstress who remakes and alters wedding dresses, and was honored to be asked to do this for us.
This wedding is becoming VERY real!!
A friend’s daughter was married in a civil ceremony in Paris and I believe the document was notarized at the US Embassy. They followed with a church ceremony.
There are specifics with Catholic weddings and documentation. And, yes, civil ceremony in US is legal. Priest/Italian church - I also would listen to his advice on it. DD’s baptismal church continues to have all her records on all sacraments, most notably - first communion, confirmation, and marriage. If FSIL was also Catholic, ditto.
Even married, DD will still be covered with health insurance if under 26. However I believe Italy has health coverage for all (cousin had a ER visit/heat stroke while visiting) and hospital would not even take/file health insurance.
Nice that DD is becoming more responsible.
An awkward situation just presented itself. One of our best friends just called to verify my daughter’s wedding date (Sat), saying their daughter just got engaged and wants to get married the day after our wedding (Sun). “But don’t worry, we’ll be at your d’s wedding. Our d may just have to leave a little early that night.” In thinking this over, I don’t see how any of them can attend our d’s wedding, nor can we attend theirs. It’s a 3 day weekend and some of our guest will still be in town on that Sunday, wouldn’t you think? I think we just have to admit to each other that we will be busy with out-of-town guests and last minute details and won’t attend each other’s weddings.
@toledo It is what it is. At least it’s not the same date as your D’s so your mutual friends can attend both weddings. I would say see how it all shakes down closer to the dates and if it works for either family, it works. Perhaps that is the weekend that works best for her family and the future SIL’s relatives.
If the other couple is having any sort of rehearsal dinner welcome party, I can not imagine they will be attending your daughter’s wedding. Nor do I believe you will be at their daughter’s. Before anyone gets upset over this, give it some time; the other young couple might not be able to get the venue they want, or find they don’t like the date. If they just got engaged, plans will change many times!
@toledo - do you run in the same circle? If so, it is very awkward. Your friends may need to choose between your events, and it would also be very tiring for your friends.
D1’s friends are all getting married around now, and they have unspoken rule about not having weddings within few months of each other. As an example, D1 got married in Jun and her best friend had hers in Sep.
I don’t think either party has to decide about attending the other’s until invitations are received and RSVPs are due. So… I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Unless someone who would be in their D’s wedding might also be in your D’s, so would have a conflict with the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner if they hold it on Saturday. Your D might want to get her her bridesmaid’s requests out if she hasn’t yet. Assuming the friend’s d isn’t on that list.
I’m guessing your friend isn’t really thinking through the weekend schedule yet (no surprise).
Other than our two families, there is no overlap of guests. My husband said that we should make it a point to attend, as they have attended both of our sons’ weddings and they were out-of-town. I told him that spending time with our family and other friends, that stick around the day after the wedding, should be our primary focus. I should add that our wedding is not where we live, so we don’t see many of these people on a regular basis.
I agree with you. I think it would be rude to run out on your guests.
Many minor things resolved this week. I rarely wear lipstick, and discovered while trying some shades out for the wedding that I’ve developed an allergy to many of them. 
Quite a few blisters later, I’ve found that I can wear Burt’s Bees shimmer shades without any apparent issue, and found a color I like.
Also found some comfortable silver flats for the reception (after photos are done). They have a little arch support, which I like.
https://www.zappos.com/p/softwalk-sonoma-platinum/product/9076419/color/2044
Resolved the issue with my ex-BIL the reader whose spouse has Alzheimer’s and spouse has had some recent health setbacks (not life threatening). Reader is coming (cross country) without spouse, a local college friend of theirs who I know is coming with him as a very welcome plus one. I think ex-BIL could really use a break from caregiving, and he has trustworthy/familiar people to leave her with, so this is a good solution. All RSVPs are now finalized, although groom has a few follow ups on who in the RSVPing groups is actually having each meal they listed so we can get the escort cards finalized.
2 weeks from today!
Hope the hurricane hasn’t messed up any weddings on here.