Think kids at weddings are a YMMV dilemma. DD’s wedding was mid-way between where they and most of SiL’s family/extended family live and where we and many of our guests live. An overnight stay was required, impacting the babysitting required as no one was local to the venue. Additionally, the groom’s extended family culture is such that there is usually a family member eager to provide childcare. In this case, all of those folks were also attending the wedding. It was clear that parents were responsible and that grandparents, etc. would organically pitch in as needed with the younger guests, including to take them to bed .We all wanted these families to have the option to bring their children. That was the most important aspect of the decision here.
Though this approach worked well in our family, every situation is different and weddings can be great with a variety of answers to the question of kids attending. My experience has been to see it work well with differing decisions; it seems the couples tends to know their crowd and how the event will unfold. Assume that this is not always the case.
At my daughter’s wedding, there were about 8 children – ranging in age from infant to 7 – and we prepared for them. High chairs or booster seats for the littlest ones. Gift bags with age-appropriate toys in them waiting at their tables at the reception. (Nobody else got gift bags.) Kids’ meals with familiar foods. Several people said afterwards that it was the most child-friendly wedding they had ever attended. That was intentional.
The three oldest kids, all girls, had more fun than anybody else at the wedding. They never stopped dancing. They even pulled adults onto the dance floor and danced with them.
It was great, actually. But I think it only worked because it was a brunch wedding, so the kids weren’t exhausted. And their parents were very attentive. They may not have been right next to their kids, but they were always watching them. I noticed that a couple of the families with kids left the reception early, presumably because they could tell their kids were about to lose it. Also, the wedding was fairly small and not overly formal, and most of the kids were cousins (from my son-in-law’s extended family) who already knew each other. The odds were definitely with us.
My D has been the designated sitter for a wedding weekend. The child was niece of bride so parents were at all events. She was maybe a flower girl but very little. D kept her after the rehearsal while all family at the dinner. She spent the whole wedding day with her. Met in the am and went with them to church for pictures in cute dress, then took her home for nap and snacks and then parents came and got her for wedding. D went with them to church and after her part took her to another part of church until end of service, rode to reception with family and stayed at reception for about an hour so that everyone could see her and she could be cute and charm the relatives. Then D took her home and put her to bed. My D made good money that weekend, but it was great for the family since she was always around to pass the child off to when tired.
Of course this was family, not just a guest. D has also kept a baby at a hotel for some out of town guests at another wedding who didn’t want to leave baby at home. These were distant cousins so very comfortable leaving baby with my D who they had never met - this might be harder when at a destination where no in-town connections.
It would help if parents realize that if they do bring a child, they are responsible for keeping them from disrupting the ceremony - but obviously not the case which I don’t get. If you child is fidgeting or crying, take them out. Funny that same D was only about 8 weeks when my brother got married. The wedding coordinator at the church didn’t want H to bring her in church. He held his ground - he had always planned to watch from the back and to take her out at the slightest whimper but I guess most people don’t do that.
I also have like that in my niece’s wedding, instead of having young flower girl/ring bearer stay for ceremony, they walked down the aisle and then promptly were taken out side door instead of having to behave through entire ceremony. But again this is more about wedding party than guests.
I went to a wedding last year that had several kids. One thing they did which I thought was pretty smart was they brought pizza out to the kids at the beginning of the reception. They were fed and didn’t have to wait for the buffet to open. That wedding ran really long on speeches.
We’re hosting a wedding today at our home. The ceremony begins in 45 minutes. The bride is my second cousin, an absolutely wonderful woman, an Alaska fishing boat captain, 6’1”, and pregnant. I’ll be walking her down the aisle and “giving her away”. It’s going to be a lot of fun. We have a Scottish heritage and, unbeknownst to her and almost everyone else, I’ll be wearing a kilt for the ceremony.
The setting is gorgeous, on a bluff over the Puget Sound, and the weather is cooperating.
The ceremony was supposed to begin 20 minutes ago and I can see it’ll still be a while longer. While DW and I had the venue ready, we weren’t involved in organizing the event.
I’m relaxed and happy but if this were DD’s wedding I’d be a mess.
At on beer, I’m the most sober of the wedding party, except for the pregnant bride.
As long as I’m just sitting here waiting I’ll share a story. Yesterday I decided to I’d wear my grandfather’s kilt, which had been entrusted to my care many years ago, but I had never worn. I googled “kilt” and quickly realized I’d need a pair of knee high socks. I went shopping and soon realized that men’s or even women’s knee high socks are a thing anymore, and concluded I’d need to use women’s tights. So there I was, a 61 year old guy, asking the sales lady if I could try on some women’s undergarments. Thankfully the young lady was understanding and gracious. Mission accomplished!
Congrats!!!