I rented a car partly for that purpose, so we could get stuff back to the hotel. Getting the stuff in the car (then out at the hotel) was our challenge.
Our planner was gold. She packed up everything after everyone left - wedding dress, pictures, flowers. She moved everything back to our B&B. I found out next day she didn’t get home until 3am and then she was at the brunch next day. She wasn’t needed at the brunch, but she came on her own time. By then most guests all knew her and thanked her for a great wedding. She and D1 really bonded over 2 years planning.
Newbie question. D1 got an initial quote from what she thinks is her favorite venue so far (has an appt this weekend to check it out) and they included a 24% service charge. Do I assume that includes tips? And then there’s tax, which is based on the full subtotal, including that service charge. Is that how it goes? And/or would some additional tips need to be figured in?
She’ll have some questions to ask…
We did. D1’s venue included 20% and we didn’t tip extra except to the venue’s coordinator. She threw in a lot of extras for us.
Check out what that 24% is applied to - just their services or other stuff you may order through them, like linens, glasses, cake, etc.
We brought in our own tables, chairs, table settings, etc, but we ordered them through our wedding planner. Some venues will charge you service fees on everything.
Look at your venue contract. Ours very specifically stated that tips to the serving staff were not permitted. We did tip the wedding coordinator who went way above and beyond.
Thank you both. I think it’s a pre-quote, so far. Yet to see the official.
Another question is: is a full host call bar needed for the duration? D1 wants to be generous, but we dont want guests driving tipsy. I think all will be staying or live local enough, but still a drive. I lean toward 2 hours of that.
In our case, the charge for a limited open bar, and a few hours was almost the same. We elected to have the open bar the whole evening.
What “two hours” would you choose? The first two, one hour of which would be the cocktail hour? Two hours during the dancing?
Would you expect guests to pay cash for drinks during other times?
We didn’t want our guests to pay for anything at an event we were hosting.
One other way to reduce bar costs is to have wines and beers only. We went to a great wedding with this, and really, no one cared that there were no mixed drinks. We considered this option…but again, at our venue, there wasn’t a real cost savings.
My FDIL booked her reception at a large hotel. Since they are not getting married in either of their hometowns, most of the guests will be spending the night. I’m totally on board with this and it’s a load off everybody’s minds.
D1’s reception was for 6+ hours. She had premium liquors and we were getting charged per person (like most venues would do). Since we were paying for special wines and champagne for dinner (we were getting charged extra for those wines), we decided to shut down the bar during dinner time. People were served (poured) wine and champagne for dinner. They were all fine with it. As a matter of fact, people were pleased with table service and they didn’t miss having cocktails during dinner.
We didn’t allow tipping jars at the bar or coat check either.
Our venue calculates the tips and taxes after everything else is totalled up, so that was something of a shocker. The only alcohol at ours will be wine from one of S’s friends, who is making it for the occasion. FDIL and S do not drink, and neither do most of the guests. We still have to pay for the bartender to open the wine, though, $500.
I’ve been to three weddings now where the guests were so drunk even an hour in that there was need for medical attention, and at one dancing had to be stopped when bridesmaids dropped glasses (they were drinking and dancing, such multitasking). FDIL leaned across the table at the time and whispers (“we don’t have enough money to put up wit this $#% at ours”)
I haven’t logged onto this thread for years. When I was planning D’s wedding I didn’t because there were so many posts that I was intimidated. D had a Hindu ceremony in the morning, followed by an Indian lunch; after a few hours, a church wedding, followed by the reception. Everything was beautiful.
Here is my one piece of advice, and sorry if others have given it. If you have the money to spend, hire someone to bustle the wedding dress. I had practiced at the alterations place and watched the video of that. My other D and I watched the video again right before we had to bustle and it still took half an hour to do the bustle and the threads all broke within two hours. We has such a hard time finding the threads, because - of course - they don’t want them to show. The bride was remarkably calm, but it was stressful for all of us. If I had paid a person at the alterations place $100 to spend 5 minutes doing the bustle, it would have been money well spent.
NOW - do you want a list of all the things that went wrong, some of which I’m sure are not even on your “worry about” list? I’ll be glad to share, but I don’t want to add to anyone’s stress.
I for one, would love to hear your list @missypie.
Things go wrong at almost every wedding…and things get forgotten. Or there are things you wish you had considered and didn’t do.
We had all of those things…but the day was still fabulous!
The most unexpected thing is that at about 5 o’clock the morning of the wedding, a water main broke outside the hotel where the guests were staying and where the Hindu ceremony and Indian lunch were being held. No water from 5 am - 5 pm.
Others:
Part of groomsmen’s clothes were left in distant city; someone had to drive around a lot to get apartment keys and retrieve them before they flew down here.
I got to the rehearsal and one of my tires was almost flat. A family member with no part in the rehearsal drove it to a repair place to get it patched during the rehearsal.
A zipper broke on D’s Indian outfit so I sewed her into it. (Watching Project Runway came in handy.)
D had paid for a hair/makeup trial about a month ago -she really liked the results. Hair/makeup lady broke her hand three days before, so D had to use someone who frankly did not do as good a job on her hair.
DJ didn’t play anything from the “must play” list.
For the Indian lunch, the caterer sent a delivery person who merely dropped the food off but did not set it up. The caterer had to send someone else, resulting in a 30 minute delay.
Here is a more constructive thought (i.e. things that could have been prevented): Don’t rely on anyone to tell you what a third party will do; confirm with the third party directly. Example: we were told that the DJ would announce when specific tables could go through the buffet. He didn’t; he just said “The buffet is open.” We were told that the caterer’s folks would serve the cake. They cut the cake but did not serve it.
As Thumper1 said, the day was still fabulous and you really can’t prevent things from going wrong or not as planned. We paid $$$ for a wedding coordinator, but she couldn’t control water mains, broken hands or zippers or flat tires. My D was remarkably calm and good natured the whole day and it was all great fun.
@missypie Yes, we are less than 90 days out from Ds wedding, and would appreciate words of advice.
Personally, at my Sisters wedding, we were all locked out of the church, finally getting a key only 30 minutes before Ceremony start time. Luckily, everyone in Wedding Party was dressed already.
I am interested in hearing from everyone about day of wedding tasks that we may not think of, but need to be done. Or unusual guest requests, dealing with vendors, etc.
D grew up hearing me say that it is good to always have a back up plan when it comes to school and careers. We didn’t think she would need a back up plan when it came to wedding venues and we had to scramble the last week to change wedding locations.
Being able to go with the flow and being flexible are good qualities to have when planning and executing a wedding.
@powercropper by the day of…we just figured things were on auto pilot.
One suggestion…if you and/or the bride and wedding party are staying in the hotel the night before the wedding…specifically ask for quiet location rooms so everyone can sleep.
The wedding day was a long day for the wedding party and parents. We made sure we had food (water and champagne) where bridesmaids and groomsmen were getting ready.
Make sure you have designated person (people) to transport the wedding party’s belongings if the ceremony is at a different place than the reception venue. The wedding party needs to get pictures taken, so it is not viable for them to be carrying their bags, shoes, hairbrush, etc every where.
You should also designate some people to get the wedding dress, flowers, cake, etc from the reception back to the hotel. Often the happy couple would want to party with their friends after the reception.
Our wedding planner took care all of that. You need to be explicit with her that’s what you want her to do.
My tip: Carry a needle and thread. I was MOH in my BF’s wedding years ago, and my zipper broke when I was zipped into my dress (I had told the seamstress it was too tight, but she insisted it was “just right” - it most definitely was not). Another bridesmaid sewed my into my dress. The bride & the bridesmaid were with me at D’s wedding, and we discovered that we all carry needle & thread on special occasions now … just in case!
I got my D a kit to give her MOH. It is mentioned somewhere upthread, I probably bought it in early November or late October, so mentioned here about then. The kit was small, could be carried in a purse. It had needles, thread, tampons, asprin, and maybe a couple other items. Thinking back on it, I’d probably add a few ones or some change in case someone needed a vending machine item.