When we got married both of DH’s Catholic grandmothers refused to come since we were married in the Presbyterian church and were not really getting married.
I married a catholic. My MIL attended but told my mother that it wasn’t a ‘real’ marriage.
We did a Chinese tea ceremony a day before the wedding. We invited both sides’ grandparents, parents, few aunts & uncles, cousins. The bride and groom wore traditional Chinese formal wear. The bride and groom thanked both sides’ grandparents and parents by kneeling and serving tea. In return they received words of wisdom and a big red envelope. It was very intimate and emotional. The groom’s family was really moved by the ceremony, the father got all choked up when he was talking to the couple. Everyone later said the tea ceremony was really nice to bring both families together.
There are still churches that don’t accept services in another religion’s traditions. Silly? Yes.
D2’s wedding is almost set for Nov 2020. She’s depositing later this month.
DD’s wedding is almost set for Jan 18, 2020. when she is in the DR in 2 weeks they should nail the last bis down and finalize.
DH and I are Catholic. S1 identifies as Catholic but isn’t active in the Church. FDIL’s religion is Disciples of Christ. The Church will usually recognize a wedding as valid as long as it is a religious ceremony performed by an ordained minister. That’s the one preference I have expressed so far, but if it’s not, I’ll live.
Well, that’s a part of the religion. They don’t forbid their members from going to another church to witness a ceremony.
Sometimes when I watch mindless tv, I watch Four Weddings. There have been a few when one of the brides can’t go and watch another ceremony so watches from the limo. Now THAT’s stupid. Why accept her for the show if she won’t fully participate? And she expects others to go to her religious ceremony even if she won’t go to theirs.
“Churches” used to tell their members that they couldn’t do things that the religion itself might not have said they couldn’t do. I suspect some churches still do this. It goes the other way, too: My D got married in a church that will perform same sex marriages, even though the religion itself does not.
2in, somehow I’ve missed any show with a future bride in a limo. I encouraged son to attend religious services, and it was a tradition to stay at j…’s house for Xmas eve to attend mass. My son was one of the first to become a Bar Mitzvah, and parents called with questions. I invited them to attend. Interesting, the 2 couples I just referenced are still among closest friends.
My sister was married around 35 years ago. She is Catholic and he was Jewish (now deceased). A priest would not marry them because they would not agree to raise any future children as a Catholic. The Jewish church would not perform a ceremony because my sister would not agree to convert to Judaism. They were married by a minister from the Church of Religious Science. I know this sounds crazy, but that is what my sister told me and it was 35 years ago, so things have changed since then. I remember them being married by a minister from the Church of Religious Science.
Makes me a little melancholy reminiscing about this. They were the perfect compliment to each other. A truly happy couple. Raised their two daughters as both Catholic/Jewish.
@Chumom - a quick FYI- a Jewish house of worship is called a synagogue or a shul or a temple. Not a church.
i apologize for insulting you or your faith. I meant no harm, was just trying to be a part of the conversation. I do know a Jewish house of worship is a temple, I just wasn’t thinking when I was typing. It was an honest error. Thank you for calling it to my attention.
No worries.just clarifying. When I was with a group visiting a small private college in the SE, someone asked the students where the Jewish students went to services and one replied “we have busses that take them to the Jewish churches” ?♀️
The confounding process of tipping. Someone please help.
Reception is at a hotel with a significant fee/tip/service charge built in. The woman we signed the contract with has left and we are waiting to meet her replacement. Additional tip?
Hair/makeup: Ok, I can see tipping here.
Florist? It’s a large business and the cost is $4500 and includes set up. I need to tip?
DJ… he sets his own rate ($1800).
We have a friend who will help with coordinating and will do something for her. She lives near the venue. But we can also cover a hotel room for her.
Who was on your tipping list, and why?
It all adds up, so I’ve got it in our budget now. We’ve also got a “Day of” coordinator, security guard, separate bartender, bakery delivering the cake,and photographer. Some have included a tip in their quotes. I think you should tip the florist, too.
We tipped the wedding planner, photographer and second shooter, all band members, florist, hair/makeup folks (actually we paid for the hair and makeup and the girls did the tips).
I believe all of these were optional but these folks went above and beyond for us…they deserved a tip!
Our venue specifically said no tips for wait staff and the like…I’m not sure how we would have tipped them anyway.
We tipped the dj, hefty tip was built into the venue pricing, did not tip the florist since the flowers and table decor were the most disappointing things of the day, tipped make-up and hair.
I don’t like our wedding planner (raised her price after we hired her, gave our email address to a vendor, lied about the caterer, late for 1 of 2 appointments), but my daughter begged me to keep her. She better do more on the day of the wedding or she won’t be getting her tip.
Jeez! This thread is beyond frightening. I hope my kid elopes.
^^ After D2’s wedding last weekend going over budget we’re telling D3 that eloping might be a good idea ?