H and I don’t like public speaking so we are not giving speeches at D’s wedding. Groom’s parents not speaking either. Groom will speak!! And he is actually excited about it. The toasts will be given by a bridesmaid (D2 doesn’t want to speak) and the BM.
Unsure of the dance situation for D, so time will tell. May end up being no parents. It really is okay just to walk or sway. For S’s wedding, we did the mother/son and father/daughter dance at the same time. MIL was very ill and unable to get out of a wheelchair. FIL refused to dance alone and bride wanted the dance. Worked just fine.
At my son’s wedding the father of the bride, MOH, BM and groom gave speeches. I think usually the father of the groom gives a speech at the Rehearsal Dinner. My husband REALLY didn’t want to, so I did. It was fun.
We did a mother-son dance, but it was basically just swaying, nothing fancy, no practice.
^ At DS#2’s wedding, the BM and MOH gave speeches (fa of bride was there but a persona non grata). I dont recall the groom at eithe DS#1 or #2’s wedding (my sons) speaking— only when they were each other’s best man. At DS#2s wedding my DH (fa of groom) spoke at the rehearsal dinner. At DS#1s wedding, my DH spoke at the rehearsal dinner (which was a big BBQ for everyone invited) but so did many of the bride and groom’s friends. They just all took turns at the mike telling stories. It was cute.
As for the dance, remember that it is very easy for technologically proficient people to edit recorded music, i.e. you don’t have to dance for 2 1/2 minutes. My son’s mother-son dance was to the opening credit music to the West Wing. I think it was 56 seconds long. When a crowd of people are just standing there watching a couple of untrained people dance, 56 seconds is plenty long enough.
If it is a speech at the Rehearsal Dinner, I may not mind. There will likely be bride’s side immediate family and groom’s side immediate family at the Rehaersal Dinner. We are supposed to talk to each other (kind of to “break the ice”) any way.
I just do not feel like speaking in front of a group of guests who I am not acquanted with - they are all their friends/classmates (even though the size of guests will not be large as I heard many weeks ago.)
I suggest DS and FDIL to pick up her parents at the airport (around noon time if they take a non-stop flight) and we can go to the hotel by ourselves because of our very early morning arrival time. I even do not know what hotel their side of family will stay and the date/time of their arrival — from this, you could tell that we really do not know much about the wedding. We only wrote a check months as soon as they told us they would marry and we promise we will show up at the ceremony. It is not that DS and FDIL won’t to tell us — they just do not have time to communicate any details to us who live on the other coast. Their side of family may know more, FDIL calls her parents more frequently. (And she flies home more frequently as DS does, even though her flight to her home could be more than 15 hours.)
Looking for song suggestions for a more light-hearted father/daughter dance at wedding receptions. The sentimental songs have me crying my eyes out just listening to them on my phone.
Light-hearted, funny, or just pretty music with no words. Any suggestions?
Often the host of the event gives a toast/speech/thank you, so if you are hosting the rehearsal dinner, you can thank your guests for coming. The bride’s father/parents often thank guests for attending the reception.
In this more modern age, it is often the case that the bride and groom are hosting their own wedding, or the parents and children are all co-hosting. My cousin and her husband paid 1/3, her parents 1/3, and his parents 1/3.
I say do whatever you (and the B&G) want to do. No one cares about the ‘rules’ any more. Some weddings have a receiving line and the thanks are given at that time.
Some things to talk about are to thank the guests for coming, to welcome the bride (and her family) to your family, to congratulate the couple, etc. Some people tell stories, tell jokes, talk about hopes for the future, wish them good luck in their new home/jobs/etc.
We have been discussing speeches and all the posts have been helpful. My D wanted to limit the speeches to MOH and BM and not include siblings. My S had siblings do speeches so I assumed that was normal.
We are working on helping them write up an interfaith ceremony. They don’t want anything long and the officiant is a friend of groom and not Jewish but he wants to include some Jewish elements.
Music is one of the last major decisions to be made. They still need ceremony music and first dance. My D and H will likely dance to “My little girl” by Tim McGraw. They danced to that at her Bat Mitzvah and it’s also from my D’s favorite movie growing up.
@mcat2 - If your son wants you to give a toast/make a brief speech, DO IT! I am sorry, but it is their day, not yours. If its important to him, suck it up and do it. Do you want your son and DIL to remember that you wouldn’t make a toast at the most important weekend of their lives? As I have said earlier, its just a weekend, but the memories they will have will last forever. You welcome the guests, say how nice it is to meet the in-laws, thank them for traveling such a distance, and welcome your DIL into the family. Maybe tell a cute story or two about your son, and then hold up a glass of wine/champagne and toast to their health and happiness. Done. DO NOT MAKE IT ABOUT YOU. Do not start by saying how bad you are at public speaking. Just do it.
And ditto about the mother son dance. If he wants it, your wife can “clutch and sway” with him to a slow song. Thats what we did, but did it with other family on the dance floor. We didn’t want to be out their all alone. As others said above, if the bride/groom didn’t want the parents to make a toast, they honored the bride/groom’s wishes. Follow this advice. Do what they want. Its their day.
At D1’s wedding, father of the groom spoke at the welcome party (the night before) because they were hosting. I gave the opening welcome speech at the beginning of the reception because I was the host, and her dad gave his speech during the reception. D1 had the father/daughter dance and the groom asked me to dance after she started to dance with her dad.
Maybe D1 was too controlling (or whatever), but she had her maid of honor vetted out everyone’s speech. She didn’t want any off color jokes or have someone just ramble on.
@oldfort, When you were married, did either your mother or your father give a speech, if you do not mind I ask this question.
DS just called (about 1.5 hours before we drive to the airport.) He said he could help me to write the script for the speech if I need the help. I guess the speech thing by the groom’s parent is still on.
We also learned that the parents and brother of FDIL have arrived (Maybe we call her DIL now?!) DS also said that the brother could speak English so he could take their parents around. It helps significantly as compared to the last time when their parents visited her. At that time, she drove with her parents all over the places, from the East coast to the west coast, for two weeks. (DS had not “earned his place” to travel with them at that time. :))
@oldfort, Please forget about my question because your family is very different from mine. It seems your family (including the extended family) is much larger and close-knit than mine. Our family, including the extended family, are 3 family members only: DS, my wife and me only.