- Pregnant on the honeymoon, eh?
- Yes tell them to take the $ if they want to survive in SoCal!!
@jym626, I moved from Texas to California. But we think we may leave California after retirement. It’s COL is too high for us. One possibility is to move back to Texas where we still keep our house. I think I can never afford a house in California.
We have had our “break ice” dinner with the parents of FDIL. DS (I believe it is him, not FDIL) chose an Italian restaurant. It is noisy but we still managed to have some “conversation” with the help of FDIL and her brother as translators. Actually, I am not sure whether being in the noisy environment is a plus or a minus (plus because it could reduce some of the awkwardness due to the language barrier.
It is apparent that her parents do not enjoy the kind of food even though I believe everyone else enjoyed the excellent food there. I think their focus is to break ice with us (so is ours.) The food (although expensive) is well down in the priority list.
I could sense that FDIL (wise or not) just respects DS’s choice of restaurant because she is definitely fully aware that her parents are unlikely fond of such food. (By and large, they only like their ethnic group food. It is strange to me because they travel much more around the globe than us.) I feel that, in this case, FDIL should express her opinion more strongly rather than just follows DS’s opinion regarding the choice of restaurant.
We insisted paying the bill at the restaurant with the help of FDIL to convince her parents. The reason I cited is that they treat our son well during their last trip to their home country and then the upcoming trip (The honeymoon trip and maybe a lot of family obligations and another their style of reception there which we will not attend) also.
I feel that FDIL and her family have been trying to accomadate our “style”.
An awkwardness happened when all of us came back to the apartment where FDIL and DS live. Although in advance both sides agree there will not be elaborate “wedding gifts” exchanges, the amount and the price range of gifts they gifted us still took us by surprise. DS has to kind of apologize on behalf of us as we only prepared a relatively speaking, a much “lighter” gifts for them. An even more awkardedness moment is that her brother accidentally said “welcome to our (family’s) home”, kind of implying that the DS visits their family’s home today even though DS has been living there for the past year or so, I know it is likely purely because of the language barrier. We could sense that this could be one of the upscale neighborhood near the State House (relatively speaking, in our standard at least.) DS actually took my wife and me to stop by att our hotel first and then walk from our hotel to the apartment they live. When three of us walked past a house not far from the apartment FDIL and he lives now, he said this house (much larger and fancier than the majority of the apartments nearby) belongs to John Kerry and he once saw him and his wife (Is he still a Senator or serves some role in MA state government today?) Maybe he only stays there when he has a need to go to the State House as its location is close to it.) I don’t know why, but somehow I personally feel a little bit of “financially inadequate” at that mement. Sigh.
Today’s schedule, another lunch meet, and rehearsal dinner (likely only families on both sides only.) We will be well fed in these few days here.
Confirmed: no speech and no dance for us “elders”. We feel relieved, frankly.
This is by and large an activity for the “young” people which are defined as those younger than, say, 32 years old.
I heard the majority will be their classmates who happen to live in this city or nearby city.
@mcat2 we will also have a language barrier when we meet SIL’s family. I confess I am nervous about it and trying to learn some words. But it will not be like I can be fluent enough for conversation. We will be the ones visiting their country. I am glad you got through it OK. It gives me hope. 
@mcat, at this point please try and sit back and enjoy the wedding festivities! Relax in the best way you know how. This is a once in a lifetime event for your son! Smile, watch him and his bride, enjoy the guests, food and venue. Have no regrets that you didn’t enjoy the special day!
A friend of mine’s daughter married someone from Spain. His parents and the family that came to the wedding didn’t speak English and are a different religion than the bride and wedding was. My friend gave a speech that her new SIL translated as she spoke, and then she said one sentence in Spanish. It was very meaningful and made it clear she made an effort to be inclusive.
My SIL’s parents speak English as a second language, but there is no language barrier because they speak fluently (his mother actually speaks 6 languages). However, the reception was filled with folks speaking their native language. Everyone had a wonderful time. @mcat, it will be an amazing day … relax & enjoy.
At lunch today, we met FDIL’s high school classmate/friend who then studied at U. Of Mich, who met her now husband at U. of Mich. (their native languages are different.) Even today, they can only communicate between husband and wife in English, their second language. Both of them work in Asia now. The mother of FDIL’s high school friend went back to Korea because of her husband’s job (working for a major car company there.) the mother (and her D, of course) speaks fluent English. She said she is tied of flying back and forth multiple times between America and Korea just because her son lives in Boston. She said she could still manage frequent travel now and sooner or later she will not be able to handle it. She said she would retire in Korea l, not in America. But her son will unlikely move back there with her.
I can relate when FDIL’s elder brother decided to move back to Korea several years ago, his parents were so happy.
FDIL felt sick at lunch today. DS and her went back to their home before the meal. The rehearsal would be delayed for an hour. Poor FDIL! (She was fine last night and even walk us back to our hotel (but it is a 10-minute walk.)
Just learned via text DIL is fine (and sleeping.) not sure whether we can do rehearsal at her place (her parents/brother are there. I think these are all the guests in the rehearsal.)
We paid for the lunch again to remedy the fact that we did not give them much gifts last night.
I tried to ask FDIL’s brother a question: why do you think your sister love DS and in what area do you think DS could improve himself in his relation with your sister? He seems to be reluctant to provide a more direct answer. I thought he is about FDIL’s age (slightly older) and would more likely open up for such a question.
It may be cultural not to comment on the couple. But I do like your running commentary, @mcat2.
I’m walking the line on a slightly different issue right now. D2 (who had a truly fabulous, very low cost wedding,) is reacting to D1’s budget. Feeling low that her choices were limited by their finances.
Regardless of the culture…this is a bit presumptuous. Why would this brother want to engage in this conversation about his siblings relationship? Frankly, I think your question was a little out of bounds. And I totally understand why he was reluctant to answer.
Try to enjoy this time. Talk about hobbies, mutual interests, the excitement of the wedding. Not about personal relationships.
Just my opinion.
@mcat2 I say this in the nicest way. Try to make small talk of no consequences. Your question to me came across like a job interview question. No one wants to think that much
Thanks. I could be saying something that I myself could not believe I would say sometimes.
Just had a rehearsal. Only one hour was allocated for this. Groom’s parents will walk the aisle side by side, and sit on the first right row . Then, bride’s mother and bride’s brother will walk the aisle in and sit on the first row on the left. Finally, the bride and her father walk the aisle.
D2 has offered to sing at D1’s ceremony. Beautiful soprano voice, doesn’t even really need a mic. Music is a live string quartet. We need suggestions for songs, 3-4 mins max (or able to cut off), no country.
I love the song With You from Pippin and have sung it in several weddings. I sang Here There and Everywhere at DDs wedding.
FDIL’s mother will sing (opera style and I think she sings in Italian but I do not know what song she sings) and FDIL will accompany her mother on the piano at the venue. They had a practice run during the rehearsal today. When she finished singing, we applauded. She said the singing is her hobby. Her voice is nice. We knew FDIL played both piano and violin just like DS but somehow DS did not plan to play.
It is the first time we hear FDIL playing piano.
Meat, they sound like truly wonderful people
Love autocorrect.
Thanks.
Just thought of this：
When FDIL and DS suddenly left the restaurant without eating (they said they were going to pharmacy to get some medicine), everybody became worried and the mode was not so great. The husband of FDIL’s high school friend wanted to cheer up everybody and made a joke: DS could write a prescription for FDIL and vice versa if DS is sick. How convenient! (I believe it is actually not legal to do so because she is not his patient.)
@mcat2 - have you reconsidered perhaps saying something brief to toast the happy couple and welcome the international guests to the US? Given that her parents are actively participating in the wedding with the song, it might be a really good idea to participate in some comfortable way.
Have to also agree to steer clear of probing questions to the family members.