@“tired already” your suggestion and of a late night snack is a good one. I’ve been to weddings where they have had the snack and those that have not. It is appreciated but I know that is an added additional expense that isn’t cheap and most couples are already pushing the budget. My S had a nice late night snack of chicken wings and Mac and cheese balls but I don’t think my D will. My D is serving fresh popped popcorn as a late night snack. I don’t think it’s in her budget to add more food from the caterer.
For younger s’s wedding they were supposed to put out chips and salsa later in the evening but they put it out with the appetizers. Oops.
DS really wanted the chick-fil-a food truck to bring chicken biscuits or chicken sandwiches as rue late night snack, but the only one in his area couldn’t do it. Bummer.
And @fretfulmother - when you talked about your kosher event (dairy, not meat) I thought - gee, if a barn doesn’t work, maybe they can host at a dairy! Ok weird, I know. And kosher events are expensive, as you know.
We paid about 60% of S’s wedding. DIL’s family just wasn’t able to pay much, DIL and S kicked in 20%. We wrote a check and said use for anything. In addition, we paid for the rehearsal dinner, hotel and tux for one groomsman, welcome bags for out of town guests.
We wrote a comparable check to D1 for her upcoming wedding. SIL’s parents are giving them more than us, plus hosting the rehearsal dinner. He will probably be their only child to marry. We told D we would pay separately for her dress, hair, makeup, day of lunch, hotel room for bridesmaids, and the morning after brunch. It’s all adding up…
My g/f arranged the wedding at our library, cuz you could chose from a list of caterers. She had K meat.
Future DIL is a vegetarian and is sticking to that. I’m fine with dairy, but suggested adding fish . That was a “no”.
The lines between who s hosting what are blurred, as the kids are using the $$$;their way. I don’t know how much her parents contributed.
The kids agreed with me to chose a place which uses all in house people. The bride was ready to make the flowers DIY, but my son felt it wasn’t worth it as tho will only be there a few days before. I don’t get the Impression that her parents are hands-on. I chose the hotel from on-line shopping and searching for places recommended by their two fav venues. This one was on both lists. It is also close to the rehearsal dinner site. I’ve learned to not ask many questions and listen.
@bookworm - are you saying that you won’t have anything but vegetarian food at the reception? That would be a rough one for me.
It would be rough for me too but I’m guessing I’d get over it!
A good caterer could craft a tasty vegetarian menu where most guests wouldn’t even notice. There are so many interesting cuisines one can draw from full of flavor and a variety of ingredients. Plus, it’s only one meal.
Ya, that is what I am saying. They like the chef and he says he does vegetarian meals often. They haven’t gone for taste testing yet.
No cake, but individual desserts. I don’t think it’s cupcakes. Oh, and the bride is wearing a short dress.
One thing I like is that they are having some beer tasting shots prior to the ceremony. This was an extra, but we all liked the idea. I don’t know if they have added late nite snacks, but I will suggest that.
At my party next Sunday, I’ve ordered lox and bagels, smoked salmon, tuna & egg sandwiches, but lots of veggie platters, including eggplant parmigiana. What will go over best is the desserts. The Italian market makes miniature desserts, so I ordered many little cannolis ( to go with Boston theme) plus other tasty items.
Casual, lots of people, non-meat? Fish tacos, grilled cheese, gourmet pizzas (a step up?).
In December, a Hanukkah theme with latkas would make me a happy guest.
No fish
No fish for you, bookworm, but @fretfulmother was looking for non-meat, casual, to serve a big group.
Thank you for the great ideas! @bookworm @sevmom @twoinanddone @doschicos @oldfort @dentmom4 - my DH is a vegetarian but he said he’s OK with whatever being served. The kids would probably be fine with fish but they really prefer “kiddie” foods like macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese is a great idea, and yes they would still like pizza 
but MOB is against that as you know.
I would prefer all vegetarian (if we pick dairy) just because I dislike fish. (And I’m probably the only one of the bunch who would also be fine with kosher meat instead.) And OK, yes, it’s connected to my own wedding. DH and I ate almost no meat at the time (I actually eat more now) - and I’m allergic to nuts. My parents chose a nut-fish dish as the main course, saying, “you guys won’t be eating anyway”. (Obnoxious IMO) Whenever I read about any kind of wedding planning, I realize how out of line that was and I get mad all over again. I don’t generally hold grudges, and am hoping that DS’s wedding will be healing. 
@sevmom @oldfort - my parents thought maybe along the lines as you do, that you can’t invite a lot of people and then not serve them some kind of meat (?) which I understand is a thing. I think Jonathan Safran Foer or Michael Pollan even discusses it in a book I once read. So there’s that. But I agree with @doschicos that it can be plenty delicious.
And p.s. even in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” they didn’t serve his allergens (!!) :\
I was kidding @fretfulmother . I eat meat but wouldn’t have a problem with no meat at a reception. I was actually responding to oldfort, who was responding to bookworm!
@sevmom - that makes sense!
D’s reception was a Mexican buffet; a lot of the guests were vegetarian (Hindus). We served three kinds of enchiladas - chicken, veggie and cheese. Other than the chicken enchiladas, everything was vegetarian and we made sure that everything was labeled so guests wouldn’t have to wonder.
I hope you will take this for what it is worth when it comes to food at the reception, because it is just my view. When I invite people to my party, my objective is make sure they feel welcomed and have a good time. There are a lot of food that I wouldn’t eat, but if I know many of my guests would prefer certain food then I would serve it. I am a meat/seafood person, and at D1’s wedding we also had vegetarian and gluten free option. Some people may not care if it is all vegetarian, but I get hungry after few hours if I don’t have some kind of meat or seafood. I don’t think wedding is the time to convert anyone’s eating habit.
I don’t think people remember decors, wedding dress, speeches, first dance (all the stuff we sweat over), as long as there is good food, music and drinks.
I do agree it’s a good hosting issue, more than that the B & G are vegetarian. But if the couple insists, I’d press them to make sure the popular options are substantial enough, not confused for side dishes.
Would they consider a brunch? We went to a fabulous wedding in Boston at a very nice hotel. It was a brunch. The passed cocktails at the cocktail hour were mimosa and Bloody Mary. There were teas, juices, coffees and a bar as well.
The food was fabulous. One station was Belgian waffles with tons of different toppings. The other side of the room had an omelette station with custom made omelettes so folks could choose what they wanted in their omelettes.
In between was a HUGE table with fruits, salads, every kind of pastry imaginable, cheeses, lox, bagels, cream cheese, different breads, jellies. There were hot trays with bacon and sausage for those who wanted them.
There was dancing, and the like too.
Ceremony was at 11, reception began about noon. By about 3, they rolled out the cake and had a great coffee station too.
And there was a champagne toast too.
Honestly…a great wedding.
The wedding couple had identified this particular hotel…but a dinner reception was just out of their price range…but this brunch was perfect.
And really, it might fit the dietary things you have in your family.
@thumper1 - I think that could be a great solution!!! Thank you! Do you know which hotel in Boston?
My brother had a Mexican buffet for his wedding and it was perfect! We could make our own tacos, so it was great for vegetarians. The other choices, as well as the side dishes and salad, satisfied everyone. One of my favorite weddings.