Most weddings I’ve gone to have put wedding website info on save the date. Some didn’t have registry stuff up at first, it was mainly for accommodation details. But easy for people to check back on. For older members of your family I would get the name of China, flatware, crystal patterns and find a local store the carries them. One of my nieces used a registry site that allowed you to note something was purchased elsewhere but don’t remember if it was Zola.
Zola also allows you to put the China, flatware, Crystal pattern requests on the site. Younger family members could help any grandparents that are not computer savvy.
I just bought a gift recently off a Zola registry and it was easy to find lots of options under one site.
I think it is common to put info on a wedding page website on the Save The Date and invitation then the wedding registry is linked in the wedding website.
And if the registry details aren’t known when the Date cards go out or the website is opened, you can use “Information to follow” or somesuch.
I called Zola and had an item marked as purchased after I bought it elsewhere.
The is great info @toledo ! DD has a 5qt KitchenAid stand mixer on her list. Zola has it on sale for $299, Bed Bath and Beyond also has them on sale for the same price but I can use the 20% BBB off and get 2 for 1 Amtrak points so that’s $239.99 plus 480 AGR points:-)
Most of the registries I’ve seen have a box to check that says “Purchased elsewhere” or “like item purchased” or something like that.
My sister got two of everything, even two ski racks for her car!
D’s in laws bought all the kitchen electronics & pots/pans as soon as they posted their registry. D had no problem with that!
FDIL messaged today that MOB is having temper tantrums about the guest list. MOB had called me last week to confront/share her opinion that her dearest darlingest friend had been intentionally snubbed, but during the rant I texted my son and he was all “Nope, we invited her, she can’t come” and I thought that was the end of it. But apparently there is still a deeply held belief that FDIL is deliberately leaving MOB out of the guest list planning (nope). Invitations have been mailed. I suggested that perhaps MOB could be appeased by offering spots once the No’s come in ; FDIL said over her dead body is she having a bunch of people she’s never even met at her wedding. I support that. MOB was given the written list, and the opportunity for input at the time.
When MOB called, I stuck to my whole idea of it isn’t my wedding, so I don’t make the rules. Now she is saying she’ll bring extra people to the shower and the wedding, FDIL at first said to me that the MOH will stop that at the door and I said oh no sweetheart, just let this all go before crazy sets in. We are still weeks away and I can’t imagine what else MOB will not like ( she also has concerns about there being enough food, which was converted to “if there’s enough food, there’s no problem with more people” Hasn’t made a hotel reservation. Won’t discuss attire).
We are staying the course of reasonable and staying out of the fray. I counseled FDIL to not offload all confrontations with her mom to my son, as that is not fair, and she agreed to try harder to do her share. Shower will be soon and is supposed to be a very small casual and informal afternoon. Fireworks optional, apparently!
Wedding was this weekend. I’m tired but still feeling the glow. My D was a beautiful bride and her new husband looked handsome in his new suit. I loved my dress and shoes. Both were really comfortable and I felt good in them. The last few years at the gym really paid off.
We arrived at the venue Friday mid day. Unpacked the car loads of stuff. We had picked up precooked lasagna at a gourmet grocery on the way to the venue. I was slightly panicked as we were expecting almost 80 for the welcome dinner and we had no professional help.
Rehearsal was at five at the ceremony site which was a pasture overlooking the bay. The wind was howling! Made us all nervous as it wasn’t pleasant. After the rehearsal we headed back to house and place where we were having the dinner and realized the power had gone out! We had 80 people on there way and no electricity. Luckily the pasta was still warm. The owner of the venue pulled out a lot of candles and everyone was a good sport. We went to bed hoping to wake up with power in the AM. In addition without WiFi no one could reach us as the venue is in a spot with no cell service. We had a makeup artist and hair person on the way and no power. We were able to call our planner on the land line. We also reached the hair person. One of the houses that the grooms family had rented had solar power and we moved the hair to that house. Makeup didn’t need electricity. Wedding was scheduled for a 4 start time and electric company gave an estimate of 330. The groom and his step dad drove an hour each direction and rented a generator for a just in case scenario. Power came back on at 1. Our whole getting ready plan had gone out the window. Instead of a fun morning and the nice breakfast/ lunch we had planned we had the girls eating bagels and egg salad out of the containers. They all were good sports.
Photographer was great. The wedding planner and her assistant did a great job of making the day run smooth. The ceremony was beautiful and the weather was warm and beautiful with just a slight breeze. We got so lucky as the area is know to have unpredictable weather and can be pretty chilly.
Hits- corn hole. Guests of all ages loved it
Photo booth. They have rented a photo booth that was in a converted old travel trailer. The guests loved it and the photo booth owner had provided an album where guests could put the duplicate strip and write a note. Sort of a guest book.
Fresh popped popcorn as a late night snack
Soft serve ice cream. The venue is associated with a dairy local to the area. It was delicious and my D and her H picked their favorite candy to have as toppings
Fire pit and seating outside away from the music
Misses or things I learned
I totally over estimated how much candy we needed for toppings. We probably went through only 10% of what we bought.
I wish we had had the bride and groom share who the bridal party was and how they knew them
I also wish the bride and groom had made more of an effort to introduce the two families
We loved the venue and the owners. They made life so much easier. I also can’t stress enough at how much a good wedding planner is worth. She really orchestrated the whole day. She also was the contact with all the vendors to make sure they were on schedule and she also handled all the rentals with the catering company. She also was a great source of vendors who were able to save us money.
Best of all my D and her H had a wonderful time.
@greenbutton so sorry about all of the trouble MOB is causing! Sounds like she will never be satisfied. I urge your soon to be DIL to get some counseling to handle what sounds like a unreasonable mother. I am sure that you are looking out for your sons best interest but her mother sounds so off the rails, I feel so badly for her. She must be at her wits end and I wouldn’t begin to know how your soon to be dil is handling all of this!
@mom60, what a story! I’m glad it all ended well.
@greenbutton , if you and your husband are primarily paying for the reception, perhaps the mother of the bride is feeling marginalized?
What about redirecting the FDIL and her mom to deal directly with each other rather than going through you? I don’t see a problem with your FDIL venting to your son, unless he is dragged into more of the drama with her mother, which hopefully she will learn to deal with. This sounds awful and hope things improve before their marriage. You are very generous to help them with their wedding expenses. Sorry the bride’s mother is being so difficult.
@mom60 Congratulations!
Mom60: lovely. 
And in my family, among my great aunts, they believed a few challenges or trials are good luck for a happy marriage.
Greenbutton, tough situation. Is there a relative on her side you can ask to intervene? But sheesh, if she’s worried her “dearest, darlingest friend” has been omitted, why isn’t she speaking with her, getting this explanation directly from her that she can’t come?
@mom60 congratulations! how wonderful that everyone pitched in and stayed calm and had a beautiful day plus a great story!!
As for our ongoing drama – FDIL and MOB have been to counseling in the past, FDIL continued alone after MOB didnt want to continue. They do deal with each other; the wedding has just given MOB a new person (me) to vent to. No relatives to intervene. We are paying for the reception because MOB is a single, retired person and it seemed ridiculous for us to not do it. We just write the checks, the B& G are doing the planning (within the budget we gave them). And they are paying many of the expenses themselves, as they should. She has been asked to participate in most every tangible way, but doesnt seem to follow through.
Oh my, @mom60! Glad it all worked out and major congrats!
@greenbutton - at this point maybe just listening and saying “uh huh” (the phone version of smile and nod (will get you through the next few weeks. hang in there!
And also consider a smile and nod type response as well with your FDIL . Saying things like “over my dead body is she having a bunch of people she’s never even met at her wedding” and pulling you into this can’t be helping matters. There seem to be longstanding mother-daughter issues here and I would want to stay out of it as much as possible. And yes, hang in there!
HELP! Need mother-groom dance song for son who has dance moves and mother who would rather be attacked by bears than perform on a dance floor. Not sentimental. Something celebratory where I can wiggle around and call it dancing for a couple of moments before others come along to save me. All I can come up with are ballads and things that will make me cry, which is worse than dancing in public…
We did a fast paced song that was sentimental to us. We had the best time - and so did the people watching us - surprised to see not a "traditional"song! Is there a song from your son’s childhood that you used to dance or sing to together??
I should add that S picked it. I had no idea until the music started! He really wanted it to be a surprise.
(adding that you can request with the DJ that you only want to play a partial song - not the whole 4 minutes)
@stradmom SIL and his Mom danced to “I hope you dance”. I danced with my S to “Child of mine” by Carole King. Sand I were both in tears. Also as @abasket mentioned you don’t dance to the entire song. You can also ask the DJ about inviting others to the dance floor after just a few minutes.
I forgot the best part. My D and her husband were able to go into a pasture and have photos taken with dairy cows. They were thrilled. The photographer also got photos of them on the rocky beach and running through the pasture with the bay in the background at sunset.
Congrats on what sounds like a beautiful day! D1 is getting married in October. Hope her wedding is as lovely as your daughter’s was.