@stradmom, S and I chose Paul Simon’s ‘Loves Me Like a Rock’ - fast paced, relatively short. We knew the song when we took 2 dance classes. The coaching really helped my confidence.
@mom60 I am very impressed with how flexible you all were! Sounds like a magical day.
Congratulations @mom60! I’m glad you had a beautiful day and things went so well. It’s great that you all handled the power loss loss so well. (I doubt that my family would have). You will definitely have some funny memories of the wedding weekend.
@greenbutton - I really feel for you and your FDIL. My widowed mother was horrible during the months leading up to my wedding. I don’t have much advice, but it might be a good idea to ask some of her family or friends to pay lots of attention to her at the shower and on the wedding day so she doesn’t ruin things for your FDIL.
@stradmom , I like the idea of choosing a favorite song from your son’s childhood. My niece’s H and his mom danced to a Sesame Street song at their wedding and it was quite hilarious.
Lots of good suggestions - thanks! I’ll just picture all of you surrounding me on the dance floor until the DJ gets everyone else up there.
@mom60 What an adventure! I’m so glad everything worked out for you. Thanks for the tips.
I am surprised at how calm I was. My son in law and his step dad were on it. I think I also knew if I started freaking out my D would fall apart. I also knew that I had no power over the power company. I reminded myself of something I used to tell my kids when we traveled and the weather wasn’t sunny. I would tell them I could control a lot of things but I could not control the weather. I used the same premise in this situation.
@stradmom the DJ will have some suggestions. I think many of us aren’t comfortable dancing in front of an entire room with everyone watching us.
I brought my D’s bouquet home. Has anyone had luck in just turning it upside down to dry it?
Also my D is thinking of selling her dress. What sites have others used successfully?
I wouldn’t mind dancing with my D or FSIL. But I think even just getting out there and movng for 30 seconds does the symbolic thing. Even just a few seconds of alone with him or her, in the center of the dance floor. You get announced, walk out, start to move, and others can join.
So DD has started to look for a dress. A friend of DDs got engaged a few weeks before DD and will get married in 16 months (8 months after DD). The friend moved a 5 hour plane flight away last year. DD will not have a MOH or bridesmaids, but will be a bridesmaid in the friends wedding. A month or two ago the friend came home for a visit and invited DD to go with her and her mom to a local showroom for a line of reasonably priced dresses that are popular with girls in our area. The friend loved a certain dress, but didn’t actually buy, DD assumed she planned on buying it. DD made an appointment at the showroom for herself and told the friend. Of course she was not going to try on the dress that the friend chose. The friend had a complete fit. She doesn’t think DD should shop there until she has picked her dress, that the dress she originally liked might be over budget, so she may want to go back next time she is in town to try more. And that evidently DD is somehow breaking “bride code” by shopping there. I think it is ridiculous. But would love to hear your opinions. By the way, there is zero overlap on the guest lists (except for DD and her fiancé) and DD and friend look drastically different (DD is light, short and curvy, friend is tall, slim and dark).
@tx5athome - I agree that the bride is being ridiculous. Your daughter isn’t going to try on that dress, so what’s the problem? It’s not like going to a different store is going to make any difference- there could be dress overlap at any store she goes to. DD2 got married in April and didn’t share pictures of her dress ahead of time. We found out after the wedding that a cousin had tried on the same dress at a store in a different state. The cousin didn’t choose it but we all would have just shrugged and said they both have good taste in dresses.
Oh goodness, how crazy can people be?! DD can just tell her friend to relax. We are finding it is most effective to meet crazy with kindness but firmness. Kind of like you talk to overwrought toddlers.
You’re daughter should shop wherever she pleases and not tell the friend where she bought her dress (when she finds what she wants). Period.
The friend is being ridiculous. Just let your D try on what she wants and avoid the “almost” dress. My D almost bought a dress at a popular local shop; we knew a friend (whose wedding we attended in April) had purchased her dress there. We asked the sales associate if she could check if the dresses would be the same, though we knew the friend was more edgy and it was unlikely. She assured us it was not the same dress.
If your D finds a dress and purchases it, she can send a pic to the friend. There is no bride code that says you can’t shop a whole store because a friend might find a dress there. Rather strange to me.
Ridiculous reaction. You don’t get dibs on a whole store full of dresses.
Totally absurd
Not only do I agree that your daughter should shop at the store if she wants, I think she should get the “almost” dress if she wants, or even the actual same dress if she wants. And pick the friend’s kid’s name for her own kid if she ever wants to do that.
Not only do people not have “dibs” on such things, it is actually kind of nice, for real friends, when they have things in common. I was so happy that my friend and I incidentally/accidentally chose similar names for our boys after being pregnant together. It was a bonding thing. I love it when my friends and I accidentally are “twins” - and we look nothing alike so we’re not exactly indistinguishable.
It is ridiculous. Similar thing happened to D1. Her friend got engaged before her. When she found out D1 may be getting married she had her fiancee talk to D1’s then BF about not to get a similar ring as hers. She did that because D1 had known her whole life what kind ring she would like and has shown the ring to many of her girlfriends. No, everyone should be able to do what they want, and “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”
Wedding Dress Alterations- $647! Wow! Does that seem high for the midwest? I didn’t go to the fitting, so I don’t know how much work needs to be done, but I’m partially blaming the store for this. It seemed like they encouraged us to order up one size,“just to be safe”. D doesn’t have the time or energy to shop around, so I guess that is what we pay.
@toledo my D’s alterations bill was $900 in the Bay Area Of California. The dress had a lot of layers that needed to be shortened. It’s something I hadn’t considered before she picked her dress. I will give the bridal shop points for letting us know when we bought it that the alterations on that specific dress would be costly.
@tx5athome is the friend wanting your D to wait till she picks a dress or is she expecting that she has exclusive rights to a specific shop? With a wedding just 8 months away your D should shop where she wants and get her dress ordered. It sounds like the friend isn’t being such a good friend.
I don’t have any real experience with this, but I have heard that alterations through a bridal shop are astronomical. On the other hand, don’t skimp. A friend of mine didn’t want to pay the high fees and found her own seamstress. Unfortunately, the dress wasn’t bustled properly and it ripped during the reception, so she spent the night carrying her train on her arm. Just passing that info along.