My D and her H were already living together but decided that the night before the wedding they would sleep separately. We had a rental at the venue and they had separate rooms. My D and the bridesmaids got ready in that house. Groom departed early in the AM to another house nearby where the groomsmen got ready. My D had a first look with her Dad. It was highly emotional for both my D and husband. My H and the photographer took my D out to a small pier where her groom was waiting facing the water. MyD went out and tapped him on the shoulder.
S and his wife slept separately the night before the wedding. They also did a first look.
I’m not sure where the first look originated.
@twoinanddone the sizing will depend on the actual dress and maker…not that it was sold at Kleinfelds. Is there any chance the bridesmaids dress choices are available someplace where she can try them on? If so…do that. If not, I would suggest your daughter order her favorite in the two sizes…and then pick the one that needs the least number of alterations when she tries them on. Send the other one back.
It looks to me that these are Kleinfeld’s instore line, not available elsewhere. I told her to try on styles at David’s, but I guess she’ll just have to guess on the sizing. They seem to all come with long enough for a 6 foot tall bridesmaid so will have to be hemmed for a shorter one.
The “first look” should be totally when and where the couple want it. I sort of like the idea of a dad-daughter “first look”.
S and DIL did not do a first look. Many people told us that his reaction was the best reaction they have ever seen - his face just CRUMBLED when he saw her! And then her look seeing him taken by emotion - priceless! It was emotional but also light hearted and loving at the same time. S is a softy IRL.
DIL stayed at her mother’s house the night before the wedding; S stayed in the hotel.
They did have a “first look” when pictures were taken before the ceremony. Even though S had lived with the dress for about a year, he had never seen it & certainly didn’t see the bride in it. His “first look” reaction was priceless.
D stayed at the hotel with her bridesmaids & SIL stayed with the groomsmen at his parents ‘ house (even though he & D had their own place). They did not do a first look. D wanted to do it, but it is considered very bad luck in SIL’s family’s culture for the bride & groom to see each other before the ceremony on the day of the wedding. It was a small thing for her to give up to allow her future MIL some peace of mind.
I’d like some opinions on what I realize is a very personal decision. D is getting married in her city 1400 miles from where we live. We gave them what we consider a significant amount of money for the wedding, plus we will be hosting and paying for a local celebration, since only a small number of family and friends will be making the trip. H thinks that should be our gift to them, but I feel awkward not giving them a “wedding gift”. For those who paid for or substantially contributed to the wedding costs, did you also give a wedding gift? My other thought is to tell them we will give them money to help them buy something for their house which they hope to purchase in a year or so. Thoughts?
@twoinanddone - Have your daughter take her actual measurements and then call the store. They’ll tell her which size to order.
@TCMom, when S1 got married two years ago we hosted the rehearsal dinner and brunch, and paid for some specific items for the wedding (busses, desserts, gelato cart). We did give them a wedding present as well - we purchased the appliances for their kitchen renovation. For S2, we are splitting the cost of the wedding with FDIL’s family (including the rehearsal/welcome dinner and brunch) but I assume we will give them a gift, as well, though I have no idea the extent of that gift right now. Our decision to co-host the wedding was our decision, they did not ask us to do it.
@TCMom We also have gifted the entire cost of the wedding to DD, which I thought should be enough. But now that we’re getting close to the big day, I’ve decided we need to do something gift worthy. Since she is in her last year of school and will be moving next spring, I don’t think “stuff” is what she needs. So DH and I are giving them a cash amount towards their honeymoon which they’ll take before graduation next year.
When DD and SIL got married, their gift was the wedding. We didn’t get them an additional gift. We hosted and paid for a welcome reception, wedding reception and day after brunch…and all the fixings that went with those things. We also hosted the bridal party for three days before the wedding weekend.
I don’t think the wedding couple expected any additional gifts.
That being said…they got a nice Christmas gift that year!
We gifted ours travel for their honeymoon. We have timeshares and a lot of travel points they could use to plan their trip so it wasn’t cash but it was equal to it.
They did the first look. The look on his face in the pictures was adorable.
We gave them money for the wedding which was about 2/3 of what they’d originally budgeted. We also paid for the fireworks and the house rental where the bridal party stayed. We didn’t give a separate wedding gift. We had given them $ towards the appliances they needed when they bought their house and paid for some electrical and plumbing work.
In addition to a cash gift used for the honeymoon, we gave them a small symbolic gift.
" D is getting married in her city 1400 miles from where we live. We gave them what we consider a significant amount of money for the wedding, plus we will be hosting and paying for a local celebration, since only a small number of family and friends will be making the trip. H thinks that should be our gift to them, but I feel awkward not giving them a “wedding gift”"
Honestly, I didn’t know that was a “thing”, for the parents of the bride to give a wedding gift. My parents paid for our wedding, paid for an engagement party, and also paid for the rehearsal dinner which was also large (husband’s family didn’t have the financial means then). I didn’t even think I was due more than all that generosity.
Additionally, my folks funded my education and, years after marriage, helped us with a down payment on our 1st house. I’ve been very fortunate to have parents who are financially secure AND generous. Any wedding gift in addition would have paled in comparison. So not needed or expected.
Our gift to D1 will be the money we gave her for the wedding. She didn’t expect an additional gift. Same with S1 (and we paid about 60% of his).
I’d only give an additional give if it was a family heirloom like a pearl necklace or china.
Re: a gift in addition to paying whatever portion of the wedding itself…
I personally think our society is too “gifty” - a wedding is gifts to the extreme - all in a short amount of time - shower gifts, wedding gifts - unless I have something sentimental to gift them I think the wedding expenses is generous and requires no more.
We got our S and DIL nice shower gifts, paid for the rehearsal dinner and gave them a sum of $$ towards the wedding. No wedding gift. But, I have made it a habit to give them some $ on their anniversary - I think it’s more enjoyed by them now than when they had a mountain of gifts at the wedding before them!
My parents gave me my “something old” - earrings that belonged to a great grandmother. That was more than enough after paying for the wedding.