^^^ Yes, and I am by no means saying that a wedding outside of a physical church building is not ok! I’m just merely considering what seems to be a bit of a reversal in terms of actual wedding ceremony venue. From 30 years ago weddings frequently being in a physical religious building and occasionally occurring in locations other than a physical church building to today seeming to be the opposite - often outside of a physical church building.
I would agree - one of my sisters and I were married in our synagogue and our other sister was married by the rabbi in an outside venue - these were 37, 32, and 19 years ago. I wonder if reception venues have become much more accustomed to offering ceremony space in a “one-stop shopping” kind of way.
What I am learning is there are no perfect weddings and they are lovely anyway. Perfectly imperfect.
My D wedding is approaching quickly. End of October. The details are being done. Still looking for a father /daughter dance song. The wedding bocks are a pain.
When we booked the venue we chose the ballroom instead of the tent in case a hurricane came up here. plus we were concerned it would be too cold. You never know this time of year.
Our d2 wedding is planned around her church a Catholic one. She and FSIL attend and love it. Our D1 wedding in May will be at the venue. Very different weddings.
I am going to look at dresses this weekend with D1.
S2 got married at the venue (outside at a golf course with an ocean view). D1 will get married in March also at the venue (restaurant patio). My sister married S2 and will marry D1. She got whatever is required to be an officiant on the internet for S2’s wedding last August and has done a couple weddings since. She is a writer, so is good at weaving a story.
D1 definitely wants a chapel and minister. She’s not “attendance” religious, but values the points.
DS2 and DIL went with secular and definitely more low-key than many weddings. They had a short but very sweet ceremony at our city hall. Since I’ve been involved in local affairs for a couple of decades now, and the staff is familiar to and with our family, it was /kind of/ traditional. 
The “kids” live out of state, DS2 is from here, and DIL from opposite end of the country. Our locale had the simplest admin requirements. They did have several ceremonies to choose from. Not bespoke, but joy-filled and meaningful off-the-rack.
Our D is getting married at City Hall, but we do not have any religious affiliation.
She and her boyfriend spent the major part of this week visiting terraces (rooftop bars) for the after party. (Restaurant for the reception was chosen before.) I was able to participate remotely via photos and text. So much fun! They just decided on the terrace that best suits their needs.
I’m enjoying the wedding planning so much more than anticipated. I think it’s because the couple is making all the decisions and we’re not involved with the financial end of it. We gave them money, but it’s up to them to stay within that budget, or go over and add to the funds.
This morning D and SIL went to disembark…and their large rolling duffle is missing. Can’t be found, so they file a claim and head off to the airport. At noon, they receive a call that it has been found in employee luggage. Really? Hard to miss—-lime green with bright orange ID tag, so guess it stood out when they really went looking. It’s supposed to be Fed-Ex’ed out tomorrow. Sure hope so, D was distraught as it contained most of her summer wardrobe and shoes.
Hope their connection works out of Atlanta and their bag shows up. You’re right—don’t think she’s cruising again any time soon. First cruise for SIL, he might be done, too!
JYM! Whatever happened with the wedding? Did guests make it there?
S & FDIL are marrying in our church – officiants are the current rev, who barely knows them (church rule) who is assisting a former rev who spent many many hours with S during the early months of S’s illness. I will say that church weddings are less and less the norm here. But churches aren’t always as easy to work with as an event venue, perhaps that is a factor.
FDIL will wear her gown all night. The dress MOB bought for departure is now going to be the rehearsal dinner dress.MOB is still peeved, but moving on.
@greenbutton I just wanted to convey to you that I think that you must be a very special person that your FDIL feels so easy and comfortable around you that she is able to come to you for comfort and advise regarding her difficult mother. Not many FMIL and FDIL’s have such a close relationship. Your guidance and understanding has probably been the proverbial “port in the storm” for her.
I haven’t heard yet about the wedding, @bookworm. While it is supposed to be held tonight, I suspect the facility and vendors and staff are not prepared, and many guests probably couldn’t arrive. Stay tuned…
On a mildly related note, D3 (who has no wedding plans of her own) went on The Knot to find out how to market herself as a wedding musician and now is getting tons of wedding related emails from lots of companies. She’s not sure if she’s amused or irritated…
@stradmom did your D check out wedding wire dot com?
@gosmom I’ll pass that along - thanks!
Our church used to have numerous weddings. D was one of only three who were married by our minister last year (although she actually was married in a church 45 minutes from our church … the minister played an away game!). D is the only non-Catholic in her group of friends who was married in a church (most of her Catholic school friends were married in a church).
We were invited to five weddings last year. None were married in a church.
We are invited to two weddings in 2020 and neither of those weddings is in a house of worship either. Both are outdoor ceremonies.
We’ve been to only one church wedding lately, and it was the default location due to cost. They wanted to be married at their venue, but the bride’s church was free as she has been a member all her life. They paid the minister, but it still was over $1000 less.
Still mostly church weddings around here but ones that aren’t have used a ordained minister rather than just officiant. I think the trend toward weddings being more about reception/party have played into this. Most not at churches have had the ceremony and reception in same venue, which I do understand helps with logistics (including moving tipsy people safely) especially when out of town for most guests.
Almost 100% sure my Ds will choose to be married in home church.
I can’t think of any wedding that I know of that has been in a church or place of worship in years. Even my friends whose children are very involved in their church have chosen outside venues. Also definitely seen the trend of ceremony and reception in the same location. I’ve also noticed most couples that I know of seem to prefer a ceremony to take place outdoors.
Both of mine who are now married had outdoor ceremonies and indoor receptions. Though one of those receptions was dinner outside and dancing inside. That was nice as it gave those who wanted to get away from the music a place to go and have conversation. One was married by someone of our faith that they hired. The other was married by a friend of the groom. Both did make the choice to get married under the chuppah.