We were able to invite one couple at the very last minute. Sadly some good friends were unable to attend. They let us know…and we called this other couple. They were in MY A lost, but not DDs because really they knew our older kid, not the one who was getting married. But they were very happy to come at the last minute!
We had plenty of room and if everyone invited had come, it would have been fine.
My niece is getting married the weekend before Thanksgiving. No invitations yet. Those of us who are traveling need info!!
@CountingDown the wedding is 8 weeks away?
Wow, same thing happened with my niece. Her wedding is October 25 (a Friday, no less, at 4pm) and we received the invitation last week. The venue is 2 hours from where most of the guests live, in an area that is popular in the fall. Small hotel wouldn’t do a block and rooms are expensive. I mean I knew when the wedding would be and booked a VRBO house for my entire family but others were really waiting for the invite to book. Five-six weeks is really not enough is people have to spend the night.
I signed the last of the venue related contracts yesterday so hopefully all those details are done and we can just move forward towards March.
Do they have a page on The Knot or another site? That should have info. You could RSVP on DD’s.
If this is your niece, can you contact whichever parent is your relative…and ask about the details?
It seems to me from DD and her friends that everything anyone needs to know is on their wedding page and the invitation is a mere formality. DD has not sent the invitations yet, but date, place and time along with hotel recommendations are already on that page. Save the dates went early since it is in the DR so requires passports and international travel.
A dear friend’s son & FDIL are getting married in 5 weeks. Sent STD’s out 8 months ago. Sent invites out 8 weeks in advance. Last Saturday, the couple received almost
40 of their invites returned from Post Office, marked undeliverable. Stressed.
I suggested they send a mass email to those 40, explaining and asking them to go to the wedding website address for details…and where guests also RSVP and make dinner selections. They are also re-mailing invites in bigger envelopes. A hassle they don’t need at this stage of the game.
I’m guessing that the wax seal on invites was culprit for snafu…the couple dumped invites in mailbox and did not ask for hand stamped at PO …
^^That’s awful! Good to have the online back up.
Do you tend to RSVP quickly when getting an invite? Are you more likely to “quickly” respond via a snail mail RSVP you have to send back or an online one you can do with a few chicks?
I did an online RSVP this weekend for a December wedding. I think the bride is trying to insert a little humor in the whole occasion (and I think the groom - the one we know - is just going along with “whatever”). I so appreciate humor! But some of it…was on the edge of not funny. For instance, in meal selection the vegetarian option was marked with “I prefer food that is covered in dirt”. (meaning vegetables but of course vegetarian is much more than that!) Just a little odd.
When we receive a wedding invite, we respond immediately. Then we make our travel plans if any, and we are good to go.
I sure wish everyone did that. We were chasing down RSVPs the week before we needed to give the final count to the venue.
my daughter is getting married oct 26 her invites have been out for a while. Also STD went out pretty quickly after engagement when she had her pictures done.
We didn’t have wax seals but did have them posted separately . I have been told this helps.
Also put a small pencil number on the back of the responses . and keep a record of which guest corresponds to the number. sometimes people forget to put their names on the responses. It helps to figure that out Most do not put return addresses on their responses .
As far as RSVPs go, I think one should respond quickly if plans are solidified but for some, it takes awhile to decide. As long as replies are received by the requested RSVP date, that should be perfectly fine. I wouldn’t feel pressured to get them done before then. There is a date for a reason.
I would suggest that wedding couples make their response date at least 10 days before they really need it. Even with that, they will be chasing people down for RSVPs.
There were people who insisted the sent in the RSVPs. No they didn’t. We had addresses stamped envelopes. No way for them to be sent to the wrong place. And we never got some!
My niece has a The Knot page, though it’s far from complete. I knew date and location; found the time on the site. RSVP section isn’t active. She is not holding blocks of rooms. I think most people are within a hour or two’s drive. On Saturday, she asked me to make her headpiece and veil.
She has a day-of coordinator who is going to “take care of everything” in the last two weeks. I think she just hired a coordinator. She’s a first-year teacher and is totally overwhelmed. She said she wants to keep things stress-free.
Problem with that, of course, is that Prior Planning, etc. helps to reduce that stress. My youngest sister and I have both done DIY weddings and have repeatedly offered to help and have been turned down. I offered to calligraph the invites three months ago; two weeks I told her to send me the invites by FedEx and I’d slap on the labels she says she has printed. Have told her whatever I can do remotely, I’m on it.
MOB is my former SIL and college best friend. She is very much of the hands-off school and is not funding or organizing any of it. FOB is my brother who is a walking disaster, and we all pray he stays sober and doesn’t bring a hookup. This is all unfortunately the family dynamic, going back many years.
Sister and I are arriving two days early and bringing our glue guns, tulle and hugs.
^^ @CountingDown , you’re a SWEETHEART!
As the MOG, I don’t know most of the details. For example, I don’t know if there will be anyone to help with hair and makeup. Other than my goody bags, I don’t think anything else is DIY. On the website, there is a list of things to do in the city, but it wasn’t taken to the next level of, “Here are 2-3 activities, check if you wish to join this group”
@CountingDown your niece is a lucky bride!! Good for you, being there to make things happen!
Abasket, re: wording on invitations for dinner choices: millenial humor. I won’t even tell you what our D and future SIL had for a couple of RSVP choices. With a bit of begging from us, they reluctantly went with (somewhat) more traditional wording. Also, their invitations were sent out only about 5 weeks before the event. They’d sent a save-the-date and had a website with most information on it, so thought that was enough. Ultimately, it all worked out and the wedding was glorious.
Still working on getting the thank you notes out —4 months later. Oh well.
Dd thought she read someplace that all thank you notes had to be sent within 30 days…so that’s what she did. It actually worked out well, as it got it off of her to do list.
@CountingDown , it’s so nice of you to offer you niece so much help. I’m sure she appreciates it. My own mother made the period leading up to my wedding pure hell and I know how much I would have loved having an aunt like you around to help.