@bookworm that sounds so nice! I’m glad it was a wonderful weekend!
Disclaimer: I am only sad privately, and I know I am overly sensitive:
We got a thank you note from the newlyweds this week – points to her for getting them done so quickly. I was disappointed that S didn’t help other than return addresses and mailing (he didn’t even sign ours). But ok. But to be honest with myself, I admit it really hurt my feelings that it is just a thank you note, written from a script (a list of what we gave them) with a one line personal ending. Keep in mind that we paid for everything except the photographer, invitations, cake, and dress. We did the local legwork and reported faithfully to them and let them make decisions. We ran interference with the horrible MOG. We held their hands, helped them plan, spent the wedding weekend functioning as the planners. And no, of course you don’t do this to get a grand thank you.
I guess I just expected …something else? And it’s always a mistake to expect things, I know that. (For context, all my siblings, inlaws, and most of my local friends gave their parents thank you gifts when they were wed, and most of them received a token gift when their children were wed). My husband was given socks to match all the groomsmen, the MOB was given a pin to match the bridesmaids jewelry, and I got…nothing but a thank you note written on the stationery I gave them as a shower gift.
I didn’t know this was a thing. MOB and I each got a cooking lesson. Since I wasn’t expecting anything, that was nice. I texted MOB to give me a call, as I’d like to hear how the young couple felt afterwards.
Gifts to the bridal party seemed quite nice. Someone mentioned that I should be giving the bride a piece of jewelry. I had ordered earrings, but they arrived a day late. The question to me of what jewelry I had bought was asked in a lovely store, so I bought a necklace and earrings. It was the favorite of my 40 y o cousin, so I hope bride liked. If not, she can exchange
Brides BD is in a few weeks, so she’ll get the earrings then. So many more expectations than years ago.
D gave a card with a handwritten note to each of us (H & I) the morning of the wedding. She & her H thanked us in person numerous times before & after the wedding.
Sometimes my DIL does things that make me shake my head.
But I try to remember that she is an only child and as far as I can see, doesn’t have much interaction with family. I think my small but close and loving (and bickering) family confuses her.
I don’t t think she was taught the same social niceties that maybe I tried to make my kids do. And my son can be dense also.
I’ve been saying a little prayer for 3 families we know…all scheduled to have weddings this weekend. Two are in Napa & Sonoma. Those families were notified earlier this week by caterers, florists, venues, hotels that once the power goes out, it could be up to five days before it returns. Power went out early Wednesday morning. Most power has returned…but still, fingers crossed that none of their vendors lost food or flowers…
Another friend’s son is getting married this weekend in Yosemite. There is a fire near there and the main road (140) is closed. Luckily, it is now 40 % contained and mandatory evacuations have been lifted . There are alternate roads, so guests will be able to make it in. However, they have been warned the smell of smoke is at the lodge.
Huge amount of stress ahead of what should be such a joyous week…
D1 & SIL gave each parent a present. They gave me 2 paintings of cherry blossom (part of name). I didn’t get a thank-you note. They did give me a nice wedding photo book.
@greenbutton - you did a lot for the couple. I am sure they are very appreciative of your help and they may wait for another occasion/way to thank you. I think sometimes people just not very good at showing their appreciation.
So hoping the weddings in the fire affected areas are able to occur. So sad when things outside their control affect all these plans.
We didnt get a specific thank you gift that I recall, but both s’s thanked us profusely, and we actually, with younger s, were invited to travel on part of the trip after older s’s wedding (it was older s’s wife’s idea!). It was wonderful! The 5 of us were together for the first 3 or so days of their honeymoon! We arrived at the location separately, but were together for the first few days before we headed on different travels. That was an incredible gift!
D and SIL are in LA for a wedding this weekend. Rehearsal and dinner last night was in Pacific Palisades, and although no smoke she said it smells like a campfire. I can’t imagine being any closer, especially with some of the interstates being closed.
Well, this Saturday is my baby girl’s big day. We have spent this last week together with last minute errands. We live in So Cal, but they are getting married mid state. My mini van is loaded like the Joads going west from The Grapes of Wrath lol. It’s been a bittersweet experience for me.
FMIL who is from Singapore told us that FSIL and D1 has the perfect wedding date. For their culture, the #10 means perfection and the #’s 1 and 9 together means forever. So her wedding date of 10/19/19 means perfection forever and ever. I certainly hope so.
They will have a Chinese Tea Ceremony and FMIL has been very gracious in that she told D1 that instead of wearing a traditional Chinese dress she should wear the wedding kimono and obi that has been passed down from her great grandmother. DH is pleased because he feels it’s a wonderful way to celebrate his mom who passed two years ago at age 89.
To get in on the bandwagon, my FIL asked if DD1 was open to a Sake Ceremony that is traditionally performed at weddings. DD said sure, just bring the sake! He is 90 and pleased. Though not the oldest, DD1 is the first of his grandchildren to marry.
Friday everyone will decorate the venue and church, have the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
Saturday will be hectic with the tea ceremony, sake ceremony and the wedding ceremony within a 2 1/2 hour time frame, but it will work.
Sunday is last minute cleanup and return home and then Tuesday DH and I go to Hawaii for two weeks! DD and FSIL’s honeymoon is delayed until November and they will go to Singapore for one week and Thailand for one week.
D1 had a tea ceremony when she got married. We had it before the welcome party (Fri night) so it wouldn’t be as hectic Sat. We only invited the immediate family to the tea ceremony. Everyone said it was very memorable. We all got very emotional. Niece is getting married in 2021 and she is also going to have a tea ceremony.
Hi everyone, new MOG here! S got engaged 2 weeks ago. He and his fiancé live in another state, 500 miles away. Her family all lives in the same area, our family and friends will need to travel. The location is not a tourist destination per se, although folks could tack on some extra days to the their trip and do some sightseeing. Otherwise, it’s a long drive or added cost of airfare for those who choose to come. We also found out (too late) that my H’s sister and her husband have a conflict with the date that can’t be changed. Wondering if anyone here has done a home town celebration for those who can’t make the trip to an out of town or destination wedding? Looking for some ideas on how that might be done - including timing and structure of the event ( before the wedding or after, music and dancing, etc.) S and his bride are VERY casual and none of the wedding will be lavish; budget is an issue for them. If we do something in our home town, it would be along the lines of a beef ‘n beer. The wedding date is October 10, 2020. If anyone has experience with this and how it worked out, would love to hear about it!
When S1 got married in a civil ceremony and 3 weeks later S2 got married in a resort area across the country almost none of our families were able to make it. We did an east cost party/reception several months later at Christmas and made it a holiday party/welcome to the family party for both. It worked out great. Casual open house holiday type party.
I hosted an engagement party in my house about 5 months prior to the wedding. Brides party drove down, so my first time meeting them. It was a Sunday open house, 11-2:00.
The hard part was keeping the guest list to people who knew my son growing up.
What’s a beef n beer, other than the obvious eating of beef and drinking of beer? I think this must be a regional thing I’m not familiar with. Congrats on the engagement!
Ah yes, it must be a Philly thing! A casual party at a hall such as American Legion post, firehouse or church, food served is hot roast beef sandwich buffet (usually salad and pasta dishes as well) and main beverage is keg(s) of beer. S is a volunteer firefighter and a paramedic by profession so the firehouse venue would be appropriate.
H’d cousin’s D was married overseas & they had a big party for friends a couple months later. Bride wore her gown, but otherwise it was just one big party with appetizers & drinks at a casual restaurant. Lots of fun!
@doschicos, Traditional beef and beer is a type of stew. I think it’s a southern dish. My husband’s family used to get it when they went to the shore.
@Embracethemess, if your son just got engaged and the wedding is a low key event that’s a year away, is there any way the date be changed by a few days so his aunt and uncle can attend? If not, I think a reception in your hometown for people who can’t make the OOS trip is a nice idea. In our area families rent the American Legion or a similar hall for those types of events. Some use the kitchen to make their own food and others have it catered. You can make it as formal or casual as you want.
They did give me a nice wedding photo book.