Jackpot! Finally took my D shopping today for a dress for her brother’s wedding since she’s has been putting this off forever and the wedding is in 10 weeks. She is a bridesmaid and the B said to get whatever she wanted as long as it was floor length and in a color palette ranging from lighter pink to dusty rose to cassis (a less saturated burgundy). The other 4 bridesmaids all picked dresses in the light end of the spectrum and my D picked a dress in cassis. B suggested she look at the rose but is fine with the darker color if D prefers… and she will prefer it. She has very fair skin and pink just washes her out. After a brief foray into true bridesmaids dresses at a national chain store where she almost had a meltdown, we found a beautiful dress in the darker color that was identical to the sample the B had suggested. They didn’t have her size in the right color so I ordered two styles of the same dress for her from the manufacturer. My D can be a real pain and the idea of not looking her best in her brother’s wedding has been making her irritable and snarky - I am so glad this is done. So, I got a dress and she got a dress and all I have left is my mother!
We’re fairly certain our D will marry this year - engaged w/ring, bought the dress, but nothing set in concrete. It won’t be huge, under 100 guests, and relatively casual. Her fiancé is uncomfortable discussing $ from us, so what we spend is being worked with her.
The wedding will be local. Not on a church, although a family friend who’s an Episcopal priest may be able to perform the ceremony.
I was introduced to who later became my ILs with first names. They weren’t my parents. My H always referred to my mom by her first name (dad had passed away).
Funnily enough, the kids’ friends always called my mom “Nan”, which is what they called her.
My mother in law was lovely. Not perfect but I miss her. She said something to the effect when we got engaged that I know you only have one mother and I don’t expect you to call me mom. But she went on to say that only her sister ( who had unexpectedly died recently) calls me Juliet ( everyone else called her Julie) and would like me to call her Juliet. I will never forget it and It was an honor.
My mother became Nana about 35 years ago and I’ve never heard anyone call her anything else since. We, her kids, all call her Nana too, and our friends and the 800 kids involved in my brother’s youth program, and their parents. It is very easy for my daughter’s boyfriends to call her Nana but much harder for them to call me by my first name.
Even my father called her Nana
Ok, more wedding advice needed. As I mentioned above, S has been downsized so, for the moment, he has more time than FDIL. He has agreed to do the final meeting with the florist and asked me to go with him. FDIL sent me one picture and said this is what she envisions for her bouquet and those of the bridesmaids but whatever he and I choose will be fine. I just know she hasn’t mentioned this to her mother and I am dreading being responsible but I want to support my son. I know her parents are away next week so the excuse of timing may work but I’d rather know she’s discussed this with her mom (which I will ask but as mentioned on the tasting issue, I can’t be sure it happens).
I am now 400 miles away from home at my mom’s helping her find a dress for the wedding, which will complete my dress trifecta (me, D, Grandma). Then, five weeks before the wedding I will bring her to live with us until that weekend, after which my sister will take her home. That’s actually not a bad thing because she will have time to be well-rested, feel included in the planning festivities which she loves, and she’ll get to spend more time with her great-grandson. Our house is set up well for this as she has some private space and she gets along well with my H.
Who says 10 weeks is a lot of time 
I feel like the ball has started rolling downhill and will only pick up speed!
@runnersmom - I wouldn’t worry about the bride’s mom. She asked her soon to be husband to take care of it. You are just going along for support, not to usurp her. If the mom gets upset, she can take it up with her daughter.
Good luck with your mom!
That was close (about the bridesmaid dress) @runnersmom! Good luck with grandma’s.
And the trifecta is complete - Grandma has a dress! It is unbelievably beautiful on her and she looks gorgeous - hard to believe she’s almost 88. It’s so special to have her here for yet another wedding.
We leave really early tomorrow for the DR. Seems to me that a lot is still unsettled for Saturday but DD is there now and dealing with it. Wish us luck!
@Singersmom07 Enjoy your time in the DR and the wedding! Even if some details are left undone or are last minute, your daughter will get married nonetheless which is most important.
@Singersmom07, it will be wonderful. Your D is getting married! Just enjoy everything and don’t sweat the small stuff.
@runnersmom- the flowers will be beautiful- surely the florist has a great eye and can tell from the photos what she wants.
@Sinngersmom07- Que sera sera. It will all work out beautifully- enjoy it!
@Singersmom07 and you have a gorgeous and comfortable dress!!
In case it helps any future MOBs or MOGs, I thought I’d share a link to the dress I wore. My S’s wedding was New Year’s Eve, and their colors were black and gold. My dress was black and silver, which might not be appropriate for all weddings, but it was great for ours:
https://www.adriannapapell.com/sequin-v-neck-dress-with-flutter-sleeves-AP1E205631_Black_M.html
It comes in petite sizes (which I needed) and also in plus sizes. It was very comfortable and I received lots of compliments.
Gorgeous s dress . Did you find this in a store?
No, I had a hard time finding dresses in stores because I needed a petite size. I ordered this directly from Adrianna Papell’s website. I also ordered (and returned) multiple dresses using Amazon Prime Wardrobe. I couldn’t find the dress I ended up with on any department store websites in a petite size, only regular sizes.
Beautiful, @collegequery. Did the sequins and bugle beads hold up? I had read some reviews that say the embellishments sometimes come loose and am wondering since I actually just ordered my D’s bridesmaid dress directly from Adrianna Papell’s website. https://www.adriannapapell.com/art-deco-beaded-blouson-dress-with-halter-neckline-19191410NUD_M.html?cgid=long-Bridesmaid-Dresses. It shipped within 3 days. She tried on variations of the same style (sleeves and spaghetti straps) in a store to get the right size then ordered the stye and color (cassis) she wanted from the website.
Beautiful dress, @runnersmom ! I didn’t have any issues with the sequins/beading coming off, but I wasn’t out in the dance floor all night like most of the younger guests.
D1 and I are in Texas for a wedding tomorrow night. She’s a bridesmaid. I sure hope the weather improves, but the forecast calls for cold temps and rain. Not sure when they have to decide about the outdoor ceremony…
It’s been a week and we are all still on a high from the wedding on 1/11. The weather was phenomenal and we had an outdoor wedding in the Washington DC area. (We had a tent on reserve but chose to skip it as the weather forecast improved).
The wedding, reception, and accommodations were in a charming location.
We rented three suites at the hotel: the bridal suite, the hospitality suite, and a third suite.
We held three gatherings in addition to the wedding. Plus… the groom’s parents hosted the rehearsal dinner for 40 on Friday night before we hosted a welcome party in the Hospitality suite at 9:30. Friday night we had sandwich platters and a bathtub full of beer and beverages — plus wine. (I had to flick the lights at midnight — we needed to be rested for Saturday!)
On Saturday night, we hosted an after party, with another bathtub full of beverages plus pizza. (Lights were flickered at 1AM, and the younger crowd went across the street to a bar until closing time). Sunday morning we hosted again: bagels, cream cheese, salmon, coffee, OJ, cheese, banana bread, fruit platter.
We loved that we gave people more time to be together.
During the day on Saturday, we had our hair “done” at Dry Bar. I was done first and returned with a bowl of several gourmet ice creams and spoons for all bridesmaids. Just a bit of fun before returning to the bridal suite where a pita platter was waiting for their lunch.
Wedding and reception. Very personal “sermon”, great appetizers, really fun assigned seatings (so many folks told me they loved who they were seated with), about 135 in attendance. We had two medical declines on Thursday and one additional guest on Saturday, so that was pretty close to our paid seats.
Black tie optional — all men in suits or tuxes. Many women in long dresses. All dressed to the nines. This was a group that likes getting dressed up.
The groom’s mother and I both wore dresses from Adriana Papell, hers in green and mine in dark blue — completely different styles.
We had a parents table with both sets of parents, grandparents from both sides, a treasured uncle, and the officiant and his wife.
In a somewhat unusual floor plan, we put all of the under 30 generation on one side of the ballroom and all over 30s on the other side. That worked pretty well.
DH and I grew up in the same area (but not where we live now). Our siblings knew each other or had friends in common, so we split our siblings and put some of each together, with our best friends mixed in.
The dinners were sirloin steak (sorry, we needed steak knives), salmon, and a great vegetarian Mac and Cheese with sun dried tomatoes. The cocktail hour was followed by (4 planned, 5 actual) hours of open bar. Our two bars stayed open an extra hour. They were supposed to close down at 9:30 but stayed open til 10:30 (our bar fee was included — so no extra cost to us).
No sloppy drunks, no DWIs, no disruptions…
Cocktails were both inside and outdoors and the outdoor space had heaters and a firepit, so some were outside later in the evening.
I can’t say that I sat much. I got up during the dinner courses and visited the 12 guest tables. The treasured uncle had a choking event during dinner — and was quickly attended to by other guests… an EMT, ER nurse, another nurse, and an orthopedic surgeon! (The OB didn’t get involved LOL!)
The photographer, florist, DJ, and hotel staff were all excellent and as helpful as they could be. The dance floor was still packed at 10:30 for the last song.
OK, I would have liked it if the photographer’s assistant (her husband) had worn something other than a coral golf shirt — something darker, maybe black, would have looked better.
All in all, we were thrilled to have such a perfect event for our daughter and her husband — and a great gathering with so many people we love.
We have been sailing through this week with the joy and success of the weekend. I can’t believe it’s been a week already.