@hayden your FSIL is pretty sharp to have figured out how to wait for your DD. I do believe DD2 will enjoy professional life after graduation, and eventually be ready for the right guy - who may be one of her current group of friends. DD1 and her fiance’ were friends first, and once they started dating, they were both ready for commitment and in love with each other. Hopefully planning will go well 
Perhaps this is a stupid question, but beyond the bridal bouquet, which gives the bride something to hold on to while walking down the aisle and looks nice in the pictures, what flowers do people need at a wedding?
Marian - there really is not a “need” for flowers at all, but typically there are bridal attendant bouquets, boutonnieres for the men in the bridal party, corsages/boutonnieres for the parents/grandparents. There can also be table decorations for the reception. D’s wedding included all of these as well as a large floral decorative arch (it was an outdoor ceremony). Her flowers were very expensive, but gorgeous.
Thank you, @FallGirl.
My daughter and her fiance are planning a wedding that will not have a bridal party. And the ceremony and reception facilities look pretty good the way they are. Flowers might be an enhancement, but I don’t think they’re a necessity.
I’m beginning to see an area where they might be able to save some money if they choose to do so.
Marian, There’s a wholesale floral warehouse in Silver Spring where one can get flowers for a very reasonable price, if the wedding is local to you. We also used ivy and greens from our yard. Cost was under $200. This was the one area where I nearly messed up big time. I didn’t have the floral expertise to make bouquets, corsages, etc., but one of my sisters and a SIL did and they saved my bacon.
I have nieces who have done baby’s breath and one statement flower (i.e., a sunflower) at tables and it was lovely and elegant. You should have many options with a summer wedding. Costco also does floral packages which are very reasonable.
I do agree that (at least for me) flower arrangements are low on the priority list and a good place to economize if the wedding/reception is in a lovely setting already.
My D2 didn’t carry flowers and the only ones at the house/reception were the cake topper. Frankly, those were a gorgeous white small, artificial bouquet. It looked right. Since I made the cake, D1 and I had control over the final choice and that was lovely.
Well 2017 is going to show me the whole spectrum of weddings. We are up to 3 family weddings - one at family farm near beach (wedding in a field), one that will be the whole “big deal” church/country club, and one that will technically be a party/for public wedding since actual marriage for VISA purposes is later this month. I will have lots of ideas before mine get there. One D has very serious BF but no official engagement expected for a while since both in grad school.
I was at a party yesterday and spent quite a bit of time talking with a woman who’s oldest D was married recently. She pointed out how nice it was to talk with someone who went through this recently as none of her friends have had kids get married yet!
Class mates of DD got married Friday. Friend’s DD is getting married in Sept - both families in our area.
Still waiting to see wedding guest list, but may be delayed until DD gets her first paycheck, and she can figure what budget they have left and what they want to put in (she has been burning wedding $$ on her living expenses - short fall from her smaller jobs with little pay). She is getting out save the date magnets to those ‘for sure’.
Still dealing with the whole limited list issue here. We had our annual New Year’s Day chili fest and there are so many people who are here every year (and we’re talking over 20 years now). My S and his fiancee were here and everyone was asking about dates and plans etc. I must’ve spent half the party explaining that with the large families on both sides and a limited (though not small) space at the venue, we (the groom’s parents) were limited to about 10 people and our S (yes, with our input) pretty much chose those people because they have been part of his life since the day he was born.
I have been taking a poll amongst my closest friends as to whether an engagement party that includes people who will not be invited to the wedding would be in poor taste and they have all (especially those who have been through this before) have assured me that it would not and they would be thrilled to attend. It’s such an odd position for me to be in to not be able to include all our friends for a happy life cycle event, but weddings are different.
As for planning, they have a venue, a photographer, and will know on Tuesday whether they have a rabbi. My S reached out to our rabbi, but he was already busy that day. The bride bought her dress in 45 minutes! She went to a place that is a non-profit that carries overstocks, and runway and showroom samples etc. She chose a beautiful dress that was worn on the runway once and really needs little alteration. I can barely order an entree in that amount of time It will be here before we know it - the wedding is exactly nine months from tomorrow!
Here’s an obscure etiquette question: what’s the proper acknowledgment when the bride’s parents receive a check from the groom’s parents to cover part of the wedding? Last weekend, our soon-to-be SIL gave us his parents’ check to cover the bar costs for their July wedding. We knew they had offered to do this, and because mine is the name on the venue/caterer’s contract, they wrote the check to me. We have one payment remaining for the wedding, which is due in April.
We’ll meet for the first time at a party in a few months (they live 6 hours away). Our only point of contact so far has been through Christmas cards, with a note from each mom expressing how much we love the other’s kid (which we do). So would you call the parents just to say thanks, we got it, or would you send an actual note? I’d have to ask my d for their phone number.
I don’t want to come across as seeming to feel entitled, or as if we’re the “real” hosts just because we’re paying for the majority of the wedding. I thought I might say something about how wonderful it is to share in giving our kids a beautiful wedding or something like that? Thanks for any ideas!
@Marian, We used Costco for most of our flowers. I had a talented friend do simple bouquets for the bride and bridesmaids and boutineers and wristlets/corsages for the grooms party, parents and grandparents. We had extremely simple table flowers (some green and a calla lily) in small vases that I got at Michaels for the tables. Our reception place provided a nice centerpiece of three hurricane lamps on a round mirror so our vases just added a little something. My sister arranged flowers in a couple of large vases at the front of the church. We didn’t spend a lot but I thought they added some beauty.
@frazzled1, I think either a note or a phone call would be very appreciated by the groom’s parents. If yo haven’t spoken to his parents yet, this might be a good reason to call.
Do you have their email address? I’d just shoot a quick email out letting them know you are in receipt of the check, looking forward to meeting them in person and to the wedding, etc. I don’t think it needs to be too formal as they SHOULD be contributing IMO.
I’d send a note. Nothing elaborate.
I agree email is best, and I would include info about when their portion of the payment was or will be made to the caterer, since that is what I would want to know.
I do feel for the folks that have a lot of family and friends local to the wedding, and some/many having no clue on how expensive wedding guests can total up to for dinner reception Some southern weddings are cake/punch reception, but not appealing for many couples.
DD and FSIL have to include just those that are true friend/close friends. DD with guidance of DD2/MAH has confirmed 3 bridesmaids who are the ones who should be bridesmaids. Now DD/FSIL have to trim their guest list, or contribute the money to include them. Fortunately DD has a good enough salary for them to decide what is more important to them, spending the money or not spending the money.
DD has asked her bridesmaids and is starting to think about bridal/bridesmaid’s dresses (the wedding is in May 2018).
She attended a wedding on NYE and was chatting with some of the bridesmaids (always doing her research - that’s my girl!!) One bridesmaid mentioned that it took 6 hours for the hairstylists and make-up artists to get the bridal party ready for the wedding. That seems like an awful long time for six bridesmaids and a bride - or am I wrong?
Joining in this thread as S1 recently became engaged. I didn’t read the entire thread, but saw @doschicos comment that the groom’s family should contribute to the wedding. I assume she meant beyond the traditional rehearsal dinner. We’ll likely also rent accommodations for the groomsmen since they’ll marry in the bride’s hometown. The bride’s family seems very well off. Is the current custom to offer the bride’s family cash or (I’d prefer) to donate to the couple and let them supplement the budget however they desire? Is there a certain percentage we should give? This is all very new to me!
“it took 6 hours for the hairstylists and make-up artists to get the bridal party ready for the wedding. That seems like an awful long time for six bridesmaids and a bride - or am I wrong?”
That sounds crazy and like they didn’t have enough people to do hair and makeup on several people simultaneously. I would think that by the time the wedding rolled around the first person done wouldn’t be looking too fresh.