I was excluded from family pictures in H’s family even after we had been married for decades…maybe they were hoping 
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Right? It’s a bit of a red flag. Unless it like happens before the ceremony, before the couple has seen each other… trying to give some benefit of the doubt!
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For my daughter’s wedding, we do have a picture with just her, my husband, and my son; groom did the same with his parents and brother. This was not as a what if, just one last of the nuclear family. Then the same picture was taken with both the bride and groom. I have to look back at my son’s photos as I truly don’t remember!
A good photographer will ask you to make a list of photos you want, including the people that should be in them. This is so you don’t forget about Aunt Emily. We told family to stay behind after the ceremony by the stairs, while everyone else went to cocktails. As my daughter did not want to miss her own cocktail hour, pictures were short. Of course there were others during the reception.
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I had a friend who sent out her Christmas card with a wedding photo of their nuclear family- so, bride but no groom. Everyone thought it was odd.
At my son’s wedding my other son’s gf was in some pics and then would step out for some. The bride and groom arranged all this ahead of time.
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Oh my, I thought my MIL wanting a picture w/o me in it was also very odd - especially with DH wearing a cream color tux and the rest of the guys with black tuxes. She knew it was ‘wrong’, so as we were exiting the church, she nabbed my photographer… well, the picture turned out blurry and not usable. One thing if all the guys were in same color tuxes and wanting this ‘family picture’ – but it was stinky to do IMHO.
The Christmas card w/o the bride or groom as a nuclear family only - that is not right especially with the picture from the wedding and the Christmas after the wedding.
To me it signals not welcoming the new spouse to the family!
We took all kinds of photos – 98% were with bride and groom but we also took parent and child photos, sibling photos which just had bride or groom depending on the side of the family. Groom’s dad also had all of his siblings at the wedding (a very rare occurrence) and asked for a photo with the six of them (no bride or groom or spouses). It was all fine.
As with most things at a wedding, people should do take the photos they want (as long as it isn’t hurtful or purposely exclusionary). Even with making a list, there are always a few photos you wish you had taken but as long as there are plenty to remember the day it is all good.
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Every family event, weddings and Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, my grandmother would want a picture with her 3 children w/o spouses. None of the spouses cared as they were all loved. After GM died 36 years ago, my mother and her siblings still take their required picture when together. 
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We are 30 days out from the event which will be closer to her brother’s than her sister’s.
I have been consulted on a few items but mostly the couple is handling (and paying for) everything. (They’ll get a gift, like her siblings, but my goal was for my kids to create the weddings they could afford. DH and I paid for our own, too.).
The bits I have been privvy to have been eclectic and well considered. The venue will be stunning (Ronald Reagan Building in DC).
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I think it would be fine to take the bride and her family, then add the groom. Or the groom and his siblings, or the groom’s family including grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc.
I’m sure there were a ton of pics of the bride, her sisters (3, all bridesmaids) and their parents. Only one grandparent was there, bride’s, so I hope there were pics of him with her.
There were pics (before the wedding) of the groom and his parents and sister (also walking down the aisle). My complaint is that there were none taken of the MOB with her siblings (5 of the 6 of us were there), or a ‘progressive’ pic of the bride and groom and then adding parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins. Then swap it out and do the same with the bride’s family (if they wanted it). The photogs were at the hotel for about 5 hours before the wedding and the nuclear families were there (plus spouses and boyfriends).
Throw me a bone. I bought a new dress, I would have liked a pic.
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That feels very reasonable. And hurtful. It may have not been intentional but it certainly would feel like it wasn’t a thought for either the bride’s family or the photographer. Maybe thoughtless is the better word.
My mom and my in laws made a huge effort to attend the local to the wedding couple’s wedding. There wasn’t a paid photographer but one of the guests is an influencer who was tasked with taking photos. I was overwhelmed with the logistics of the wedding.
But I wish my mom would have had a picture with her and her grandchildren and great granddaughter. And my in laws the same. The only pictures were with all of the grandparents. Which is unfortunate. But things were so unplanned that these things didn’t happen.
We can’t get those moments back. For all of these people to be together again may never happen. It’s sad. And that’s the overwhelming emotion.
There’s lots I would have changed in the end. But it’s over and I can’t. So I’ll try and live with that.
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My MiL likes photos of just her and her sons/grandsons. I think it started bc she felt including me was somehow going to offend my own mother — like the family I married into was trying to appropriate me. She had good intentions and now it is just a thing we do. (But it’s not a wedding, and I see that is different)
DiL very much wanted a photo of everyone at the wedding and didn’t we just pull it off!! It is her favorite by far, but you couldn’t do that with 200 people!
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Some photographers only want to take the pictures that they ‘set up’, and they have the bride-to-be (and whoever she includes with the photographer) on a certain number of ‘set up’ pictures. Sometimes they brainwash a bit - at niece’s wedding, I asked her about sibling picture, and she gave me a spiel, so we used my sister’s camera at an outdoor area with someone taking the photo for us (mother of bride and her siblings) – and then niece’s photographer was nearby and went and snapped a photo. Sometimes the photographer takes various casual pictures. With DD’s wedding, photographer was fine for others taking pictures – his fees were for taking pictures and the couple received all his digital pictures. We actually used other’s pictures for the following Christmas cards since the bride got too busy to share what their photographer took.
In the olden days, photogs took a set number of film pics and of course we never knew until they were printed which ones were going to be good. With digital equipment, they can take hundreds and hundreds of photos and just erase the duds.
At this wedding, there were 2 (maybe 3) photogs, a videographer, and they were with the wedding party for 12 (TWELVE) hours, getting ready at the hotel, first look of father and groom, al the wedding party, etc etc. Wedding started at 4 pm and went till 11. I’m betting there were 1000’s of pics. The time of the B&G was the limiting factor as they were busy getting hitched, dancing, eating, visiting some tables (not all).
I think the photogs should take the posed pics and lots of others. If a group says “take our picture” they should just do it. They could even have an area for casual pics. I think my daughter will have that, just a place with a nice background and a family can stand there and click, move out of the way and click the next group.
But honestly my nephew’s wedding was lovely, the flowers were fantastic, the food tasty. The photography is my nit to pick, and I’m sure they’ll love the pics as they will be in all 1000 of them. I should have gotten someone to take phone photos of me and my kids, siblings, and the cousins, but unfortunately, the bride and groom wouldn’t have been in them and I just didn’t think of it.
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Our photographer asked for a list of who we wanted in pictures. DD worked on this list very carefully, but did omit one group who should have had a picture. You know…if that was the only mistake in her wedding, I’ll take it.
She did want pics of our nuclear family both with and without her new husband. We also have a picture she wanted of the women on my side of the family who are never in the same place at the same time…and they were all there (no grands alive on that side of the family).
There is also a picture just me with our two kids. I’m not sure why!
There were a lot of candids…and everyone was in at least one.
The one thing I would have done (DD wasn’t thrilled with the idea) was pictures of each table and the folks at it. That would have guaranteed at least one pic with each person.
Oh well.
Our photographer set up a screen off to the side partway through the reception. He and his partner split the work of taking candids of the reception fun & taking shots in front of the screen. Some of our very favorite shots are the groups of friends and family who mugged for the shots in front of the screen.
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Have to say I have not seen the entire photo collection from either wedding.
Kiddos paid for photographer services and gave us albums of photos they curated for us. That’s it. 
Photographers do not like to be told what and how photos are to be taken. Because that might be interpreted as them sharing copyright rights. They like to control that aspect of their business.
Two of my kids are married and in both cases, the photographers asked for a written list of must have family/friend group photos. We also told them it was ok to take couple/group photos that guests requested.
Both weddings also included photos of the bride’s and groom’s original nuclear family. Thinking back 40 years, so did ours. It was kind of a before and after.
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Our photographer asked for a list of what photos were to be taken. He also asked if there were specific locations where the couple wanted pictures taken. He was very collaborative in his approach. And his work is fabulous.
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That is fine. That doesn’t mean loss of copyright if the photographer is free to arrange the subjects on those locations to his/her liking and doing this on his/her own timeline. Meaning not simply pushing a button.
Again, this depends on the contract (and probably cost). We paid for full ownership of the pictures, but the photographer had the right to use any of them for his own publicity. He took several thousand pictures and we received a DVD which had ALL of these and no marking that would render them not able to be copied or printed. We paid for this type of picture release. We also paid an additional amount for the album for the wedding couple.
Our photographer liked doing business this way. I know that this isn’t what all photographers do.
we did NOT interfere with the photographer and his second shooter at all while they were taking the actual pictures. That WOULD have been over stepping our bounds. Period.
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