This is where I want to explode and say “WHO IS GETTING MARRIED HERE”. Lol. The couple should make the decisions - it sounds like theirs are reasonable - and everyone should smile, hug and nod!
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I remember your post about the meeting at the venue. Interesting that the difficult parent decided to leave before the contract was signed.
Intentional? I wonder?
Personally from what you’ve said, it sounds good to be divorced from that and to be in a what sounds like a healthy relationship. 
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I completely understand and respect your opinion on the Church. For me, as someone divorced and remarried, I’ve personally had very positive experiences with the Catholic Church, even though I’ve had to go through a lot of steps. For me, the church’s lengthy annulment process was healing and helpful, and when it was time for me to get remarried, my parish priest was very encouraging and helpful, even though it did take some time to go through all the necessary steps. So I think that my positive experiences are what’s leading me to say that it will all work out, it just might look a little different or take some more work. I just wish everyone else had similar positive experiences.
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A lesson learned. A friend’s sister got married in Lincoln NE one fall, and there were 6 weekend that were non-starters as they were home football weekends. It left her with Halloween weekend!
My daughter got married in Indiana on something called Covered Bridge festival and all the hotel rooms were expensive (IN INDIANA!) It was also a big IU v Nebraska weekend (that was about 2 hours away and the local state college had homecoming, the Colts played at home…It’s hard to know what caused the spike but it was expensive. Also, many people had trouble getting rental cars even with reservations.
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Truthfully we didn’t sign the contract that day, and I don’t think he had an ulterior motive in leaving when he did. But oh, it’s so not nice to threaten to withdraw something promised. That really damages relationships. And yes! I’m grateful for a healthy relationship now. AND, I also give thanks just about every day that my ex is in a relationship with a wonderful woman, who loves my D and treats her well. I’m so grateful for that.
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Great point about the rental cars. Thanks!
Indianapolis is not a huge airport, but it had all the major rental agencies. People were waiting in line for HOURS.
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We are looking at a wedding in a popular southern city in May. For 3 rooms for 2 nights it will be right about $3K. Plus we will have to make an almost 10 hour drive (easy for us, but harder for our kids who work). Flying plus uber to and from place will be close to $1K per couple. And it’s a family wedding, so we will likely pay or at least offset the cost for kids. I did look for VRBO type places, but there are almost no 3 BR/2BA or larger near the wedding venue. We have months to decide, but it’s so expensive! I guess it’s just what people do?
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Yikes. That’s so nice of you to pick up the tab for your kids!
We haven’t decided for sure, but at least one simply can’t afford it.
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I was worried about aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins.
I always will help my kids. I also was happy to help out the grandparents.
I should have let aunts, uncles and cousins figure it out.
I always feel responsible for crazy lodging prices for a wedding that my kids planned but didn’t think out the other expenses their guests would have to pay.
It seems that the wedding couple can either find a venue that has (somewhat) reasonable accommodations but that venue costs a fortune for them. Or try and find a venue that’s out of the way, is more reasonable. But lodging and associated costs are through the roof.
I don’t make the rules, but it seems to be the case
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Melvin, it is rare to hear such positives so I am glad you shared.
Back in 2019-2020 we had a challenging time with the Arlington Diocese. We had been here for more than 25 years, registered, sacraments, and all.
We wanted to have the wedding at another church in the diocese, that was closer to the reception venue (and would have been willing to pay a fee).
In the end the kids had a Friday night mini church wedding at our home parish with 20 in attendance — and then we moved on to the “rehearsal dinner” in a chosen venue adding in aunts and uncles. Saturday featured another ceremony and reception for 140.
It was a decent compromise but I’m not quite over the church challenges.
FWIW, some diocese are more flexible than others. The Baltimore Diocese maintains a list of non-church venues that are approved for weddings, including outdoor sites, I think.
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Possibly one of the best pieces of advice on this whole thread! 
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Our son/DIL found a fabulous outdoor venue at a nature preserve (but catered under a big tent). It had affordable-ish hotel rooms, I think about $200/night. Package came with schoolbus shuttle. The trade-off was that there was no good access by public transit, and some of the guests flew in. It all worked out, but a few of the guests had a hefty uber bill (which I think in some cases got split).
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People also need to remember that as the couple/family makes choices, you have choices as a guest. To attend or not attend. And everyone needs to respect that and not feel obligation.
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S and DIL checked out several venues and chose one they felt was central enough. Easy gif folks to drive to or catch a ride share. We never offered to help pay any accommodations but we did chauffeur my BIL around some and my neighbor let my best friend stay at her home, right next to ours. No one complained and everyone made things work.
My sister got married by a catholic priest in the DU chapel (which I think is methodist). The priest just required a church like place, not a field or park or hotel ballroom.
There is one church here (very small) that is Our Lady of Lourdes and it has a grotto where they are allowed to hold weddings. Really, it is like getting married on a sidewalk and I would just use the church which is 20 feet away. There is a nice park across the street but that is a no-go.
I think the trick is to get a priest agree to perform the ceremony and let him worry about the diocese. We have a Jesuit priest friend who has never gotten along with the archbishop so he enjoys breaking the rules.
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D1 got married at her Alma mater. We picked the weekend between the graduation and alumni weekend. The campus was beautiful due to preparation of those two important weekends. I have paid close to 1000/night for parents weekend, moving in day and graduation, so I knew what hotel rates were like for those dates. D1 wanted to get married in a particular hall at the school and it was open for reservation at a specific time. We stayed up until midnight to grab it. D1 was also flexible if we couldn’t get it. Her wedding planner was very helpful in coordinating the whole thing.
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I’m so sorry you had that experience. That seems needlessly obstructive. Thank you for letting me know about some dioceses keeping a list of other venues!
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I was very grateful to be married by a very forward-thinking priest from my husband’s family parish. I’m not Catholic but he allowed the minister from my family’s church, who I was very close with, to participate and perform half the ceremony. I’m quite sure he did not ask permission from the diocese. After we were married, he also allowed me (along with my Catholic husband) to teach confirmation. I wish there were more priests like Father Finnegan (RIP).
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