2016 and beyond wedding moms and dads (Part 2)

I went looking at venues with my mom (many years ago) and there was one that was comfortably affordable and was just what I wanted. We asked about availability in the range of dates we were considering and the manager said they just had one option, a recent cancellation, and it was for a Sunday afternoon. We grabbed it and never looked back. Never expected or planned on having a Sunday afternoon wedding but it was our best option.

D had Saturday 5PM wedding which she and SIL were very happy about.

Honestly, however things work out is generally fine.


In the old days where most of friends were married in a religious ceremony.

If the wedding was on a Friday night, it was catholic. Sunday, Jewish.

I know not a hard and fast rule. But now, many weddings aren’t in a church or synagogue. And the day of the week it’s on doesn’t have a correlation

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I remember Catholic friends favoring Sat wedding after 4pm… because the mass “counted” as church - Catholic guests could sleep in on Sunday.

But what about Saturday 5pm Catholic mass? I remember when Saturday early evening mass was added…those Saturday evening weddings got nixed.

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Not sure… just going by memory of college friend’s wedding planning.

found this - Catholic Wedding Help: What time must be a wedding Mass be scheduled to fulfill the Sunday obligation?

I understand what you’re saying. :slight_smile: But at our Catholic church and those in our area there was a regularly scheduled “counted” mass Saturday at 5pm (or 4pm or whatever) - so any weddings would have to happen and be cleared out a good bit prior to that mass starting. (or the little old ladies arriving plenty early to say their rosary!!)

At least “back in the day”!!

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Same. Catholic weddings were Friday night or Saturday afternoon. Never Saturday night as there was mass. I’m young enough to always have had Saturday night mass. :joy:

Jewish weddings couldn’t be on the sabbath. So before sundown on Friday or after sundown on Saturday. Almost impossible in the summer for Saturday. It seems like in the day, the weddings were mostly on Sunday.

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My daughter’s bat mitzvah (not a wedding of course!) was a Havdalah (end of Shabbat) service. My Israeli friends’ childrens’ weddings started on Friday afternoon. One was in a nearby vineyard where the groom worked, and some observant attendees walked back to the moshav where my friends (and now their kids and spouses and grandkids) live–about a 45-minute walk. Other observant guests left in time to get home before sunset.


Our Catholic Church has a weekly Sunday evening Mass at 5:30 pm (counts as Sunday Mass) - and a lot of active families or families with young adults go to that – if they are away for the weekend, they get back in time for that Mass.

Also a campus ministry Catholic Church in a big city has a ‘late’ Sunday evening Mass - I believe it is at 8 pm. It helps the hospital shift workers that work 7 a - 7 p and they go to the 8 pm Mass. It is a well attended Mass by the young adults.

Priests or Deacons can preside over a Catholic wedding, but only a priest with the Mass. Often if the bride or groom is not Catholic, the couple chooses a ceremony w/o the Mass.

It is based on availability of the Church and staffing.


The latest Saturday wedding Catholic Churches would do around these parts back when I was getting married was 3. We had to be done before confession started, and confession had to be done before 5:00 mass. I’m no longer Catholic, so I don’t know if it still happens that way.


Many of the Friday/Saturday wedding times were if the couple wanted a mass. Priests were only allowed to say two masses a day, so usually they were ‘all filled up’ on Sundays, so you could have a ceremony but not a mass on Sundays. Many dioceses now allow Saturday masses to start at 4 pm, so that moves weddings up to 2 pm starts to clear out by 3:30. Our church has a 4 pm, a 5:30 on Sat and 4 masses on Sunday morning and one at 6:30 pm. Not a lot of times for weddings other than Sat between 11 and 2.

Gee, try scheduling a funeral! When my mother died last year we couldn’t have the funeral until 3 weeks later.

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Back in the day, I do think there were more priests around(?) There still of course is potential conflict for church/parking.

Oh many many more, but more masses at each church too (and more churches). When my friend got married (about 40 years ago) there were 3 weddings at her church the day she got married, and that was the norm. Three every Saturday and probably one on Friday night.

In Sunset Park, Brooklyn, there’s a huge church that celebrates Mass in Chinese, Vietnamese, Spanish and, of course, English:

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We had a Saturday morning wedding, then a champagne brunch. Guests seemed to enjoy it. A little different and less expensive.


That is what my daughter wanted, a la Downton Abbey. Alas, she’s getting married in Indiana at a ‘wedding venue’ with a typical afternoon wedding (and no mass).

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It may be a little unusually to have all 4 of those in one church, but not unusual to have all 4 in one area. We have several that have Spanish, and at least one the does Vietnamese. Also signing for deaf.

I went to mass on Easter when I was in China. It was a little different as instead of being an hour, it was on a loop. You walked in and it was already going on. When we seemed to have been there for one cycle, we left. It was all in Chinese but we seemed to be able to follow along and some of the people around us helped. It was fun. Sort of like going to a Latin mass with all the same parts but different words.

(Sort of like non-Catholic wedding guests attending a wedding mass - a good priest will make them feel welcome by explaining what is going on)


My husband also was in China for Easter, while on work assignment (he had a 10 year Visa to China) in 2018. He was 1 hour north of Shanghai. Driver from the hotel got him there; it turns out the service was almost over when he arrived, and as a ‘visitor’ he got an egg and a flower - I guess they looked at the egg as ‘the tomb’. He saw where the bus stop was, and there was another lady there with an egg and a flower, and she spoke English. So she was able to tell him how to get back to his hotel.

It turns out, that was his last work trip to China. I didn’t have my Hepatitis shots completed (which was dumb on my part) in time for his trip, but I might have gotten hung up on getting a visitor Visa. Also his work trips would come up and getting a flight with him could have been expensive ticket. DD2 had been to China - was on a jazz performance tour, invitation of China Culture (they love jazz music) - so DH and DD2 could relate stories. DH took the ‘bullet train’ one time. On Shanghai sky scraper screen, photo of DD2’s jazz group - neat to see.

Two nights ago I put 50% down on the venue. Today I was supposed to go dress shopping with D2 and D1, but my mom came down with shingles. My brother and his wife were going to visit my mom this weekend, but decided not to because for fear of getting shingles. The only way to catch shingles is by touching an open wound, it’s not airborne. My mom was teary and upset, so I decided to visit her instead.
The girls FaceTime me and sent me a lot of pictures. I think we may have a dress. There is one that I love. We have few more appointments scheduled, but she may cancel some of them now. The funny thing is she may end up getting the dress at the same place as her older sister. D1’s dress had a lot of lace and beads, and D2’s dress may be very simple without lace with a very long train.