3 years in college and still have no idea what do i want. it's depressing. please help.

College Life
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Okay i really hope some would help me because i can’t take it anymore! please don’t ignore.
this is running my life! my future!

Please don’t sugusstion for me to leave college because it’s not an option. i do want to attend college and plus my parents wouldn’t let me not attend.

So i’m 20 years female who is been in college (studying business but no major yet) in 3 years and have 2 years left and i still don’t know what the hell i want to major in or why i’m even in this college studying business in the first place.

first of all back in high school i remember being torn between choosing so many majors that i actually wanted to double major (which is extremely funny to me now) and business was one of those majors but i don’t know what the hell happened in senior year but i’ve changed completely i absolutely didn’t want any of the things i wanted before. i didn’t want to study any of the majors that i had in mind. i just didn’t see myself interested in them as a career path that much anymore. i never was a person who actually study but i’ve managed to keep really good grades in high school up until senior year i got not so good grades, i was really depressed from college and everything. the first year of college was a forced prep year (for all the students) and since a lot of the things we took, we took before in school so that helped me not to fail even tho i was a complete mess worse than i was the year before. i just kept getting worse. and what’s weird like the subjects that i liked in school didn’t interest me any more that much like math! i was so good at math i loved it! my teacher even wanted me to compete in a math international competition but i was scared to. and in college i actually failed math and sucked at every math related subject which is weird and embarrassing. i don’t how can i suddenly hate it (it’s not that math is different in college coz it’s not and it was definitely easier). and also computer, i was so good at it and even in the prep year when we took html and other study i got an A without even realising it even tho i hated the memorising part but i was good at doing the website and the stuff so i guess that made up for it (yeah i like computer but i still didn’t want to major on computer science which is a major i really considered but i just wasn’t feeling it). i also like english (hated the grammar and the spelling tho lol) and i thought of becoming like a journalist or novelist but still i wanted more ( i still wanna write books so bad tho! i will someday). anyway… the reason i choose business because it was one the things i wanted before and i will actually end up having more opportunities and choices with it. like it’s kind of a more diverse field. which is something i love. i really love diversity. the reason why i had so many things i wanted to choose is because i have a lot (like A LOT) of interests and i just keep moving between them and i don’t keep still with one at all. i just get bored so easily. and my interests just keep growing. anyway… so okay first year in business and i failed 6 out of 10 courses! and in my second year first semester i remember opening this topic with one my friends who’s studying graphic design. she told me what she kept telling since we started college that i should major in graphic deign just like her and i actually got that from multiple other people that it would really suit me. and i get why they would think that coz here’s the thing, i’m a creative imaginative person and i’m interested in these things but i don’t really draw and like to draw that much ( i used to draw a lot tho). my friend told me that they teach you how to draw, you just need ideas and that’s something i’m really good at (comping up with good ideas) and plus they have a photography class (something i really like) and they to teach you how to edit and use these softwares and stuff which sounds fun but what i kept telling her and everyone else is that this would be cool for like a hobby for me or a side job or something. i mean i really thought of it a lot but i always wanted more idk i want something fulfilling something that i could idk change the world with i guess. i’m now in my second year, second semester ( third year with the prep year) and i failed a couple more subjects and i’m getting really bad grades still. i can’t help myself i hate studying so much and i can’t stand studying something i don’t really enjoy. i mean what’s funny is that i do like watch videos on youtube about business subjects related stuff and read about it and stuff coz i am generally kind of interested in this but i get bored easily and i feel i wanna move to something else. i know i’m complicated.

all i know know is that i want a job that i can be creative in, that’s not a routine, and that i can be something you know…
i guess i want something that can combine a lot of my interests.

okay so now that you know the story of my life ( or part of it). what do you thing strange people on the internet?

i can list all the things that i’m mainly interested in if it would help you help me?

thank you in advance people.

p.s. yeah just to let you know. i’ve googled this so many times and did every personality test out these (i’ve figured out i’m ENFP personality type) and i just did all the research i possibly could …

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Since you don’t want advice to drop out of school, here is my advice. I think you should get your butt to class, do your homework, and stop failing classes. Choose a major that you can complete ASAP. Understand that no one really cares if you are bored.

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i care if i was bored tho. But what’s the point of continuing this if i don’t want it and i’m not gonna use it. i wouldn’t mind switching to another major. And it’s hard i swear i’m trying but it’s torture i can’t take it. i hate exams in general but having to be examined on things that i don’t want to even read is unbearable. i just to find a major i will enjoy.

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I hate to say it, but I don’t have the attention span to read your entire post. I will say that if you are apathetic, and have been for some time, you should consider whether you are truly depressed. Go talk to a counselor to see if this is possible.

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[quote]
but having to be examined on things that i don’t want to even read is unbearable

[quote]
. There will be a lot of things in life you don’t want to do, like dealing with deadlines or difficult clients at work. Or dealing with messy or sick kids. I hope you are able to reconsider your notion of “unbearable” Your post above was “unbearable” to read, but I just kept going and made it through!

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I really think you should leave the college and spend a year or so working. If you really want to stay, next semester try taking 5 classes in different subjects you are potentially interested in. At the end of the semester, pick the class you are most interested in and major in it. Make the decision and stick to it. Even if it ends up not being your favorite major at least you graduate in something instead of nothing. Also, stop failing classes.

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Is there no academic probation at your school? How do they let you fail so many courses and still be there? Also, I’m sure that if you tell your parents “I hate what I’m studying and failing most of my classes. I need a year to work and think about what I’m going to do so that I can pursue it fully and stop wasting my / your money,” that is a reasonable and mature thing to request. Let go of your assumptions about what they will say. It’s worth negotiating with them.

I second onceuponamom about seeing a counselor. When I had an episode of depression last semester, I didn’t want to go to any of my classes, even the ones I initially loved. A symptom of depression is anhedonia, the inability to experience pleasure in normally pleasurable acts. Also, utilize any free tutoring services on-campus / professors’ office hours… Don’t LET yourself get to the point of failing.

Does your college have a liberal arts degree? That might be something to consider. Secondly, how do you pick your classes each semester. It might be tough with the short amount of time left, but it will really benefit you to take a variety of classes each semester. Maybe a smaller amount of business will be more manageable.

As for jobs that can “change the world,” let’s see… Education? Probs not. Nursing? Public health? Law enforcement? I think you would really like journalism or working for some magazine; combines art, maybe business, computers, writing, has the potential for a lot of variety.

What subjects do you do well in / don’t hate / are closest to getting a degree in? Just take the minimum courseload allowed, focus on doing well in those classes, and when you feel confident about that, look into doing some networking / getting informational interviews with different professionals in the fields you are interested in to figure out what you want in life. That’s a project that should keep things interesting for you. I’ve had the same struggles with being bored by some of my classes, but at the end of the day, it’s a means to an end.

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CheddarCheeseMN, now that i read it again after few hours later, i get what you’re saying. i was just writing infos as i went along that i thought could be useful for someone in order to give me a proper advice. thank you for stopping by.

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onceuponamom, sorry i guess i wrote too much. i think i might be depressed but i’m not sure why and how it happened

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ohiokid1234, i never worked before. what kind of jobs do you mean?

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onmayway2013, so what did you do when you found out you were depressed? how did you manage it?

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Never worked before and in your third year of college? Maybe that is part of your problem.

If your parents have the dough, spend more time in college. You have to graduate when you are done, not when you exactly meet graduation criteria. Take some classes randomly - I took fine arts and literature courses even though I was an engineering major.

I don’t know about seeing a counselor, but talking to advisors in different departments can’t hurt. Or even career services, asking about different types of jobs.

With no job experience, you don’t even have a taste of what you’d be doing in the real world. I can tell you that with a business degree, you aren’t going to be doing what you did in business courses. You would be doing low-level management to start and dealing with day-to-day issues. Which is why you need job experience…

In short:

  • go to your college’s co-op office and see if they can get you a co-op position in your field or anything else you’d be interested in. Good news is that a business degree has wide applications, so maybe you could use it to get into a firm that deals with graphic arts, for example
  • go to other departments and talk to professors about what they do and what other majors would be like
  • see if you can get work study or a job on campus doing something so you can learn about working (if the co-op doesn’t pan out)
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@bethcollege <-- Tag function notifies the people you’re referring to

Let’s see… I’d been seeing a therapist since October for general anxiety about college, and she noticed before I did that I was getting depressed. It took a while for me to believe her, because there were periods of feeling really down, and then periods where I felt a little better. But when the depression got really bad in November, I finally accepted that I was depressed.

As for managing it, I didn’t want to take medicine, so I tried cognitive-behavioral therapy for a while (identifying negative thoughts as just thoughts instead of letting them worsen my mood, making myself do fun things that would make me feel better). I also tried some natural medicines like Super Complex B and St. John’s Wort that are supposed to increase mood, but they didn’t really work. And outside of this, I managed by quitting many of the ECs I was no longer having fun doing. I actually didn’t have any problems doing assignments or studying for exams, although I needed the pressure of a looming deadline to make me do it. Maybe it’s because of all the things in my life that were going wrong, schoolwork was the easiest one to deal with.

At the start of the second semester, I finally, reluctantly, agreed to take antidepressants, because I was still feeling really numb and apathetic about life. It really helped, lol. It took a while to get my mood up, but I had more energy and motivation to do things within the week. I still see my therapist once a week to work on improving the way I think (I tend to be very self-critical and pessimistic even when I’m not depressed) and a psychiatrist once a month.

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@rhandco oh i never knew that i can take random classes! so do they affect your GPA? how does it work? how can enter the class exactly?
and about the job thing idk i want to work this summer but i really don’t how to apply for a job or what job should i choose or even how to find any job in the first place. i’m financially secured so i never had to work. i’m suppose to start working only after i get my degree.

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@OnMyWay2013 i don’t feel comfortable taking medications. i would then rely on them. the weird thing is i don’t really know why am i like that. if i’m actully depressed, why? what’s making me depressed that’s causing me to stop enjoying everything and ruining my life?.. it’s so confusing.

i googled liberal arts degree and it’s sounds interesting. we don’t have it here tho. but there were a lot of videos on youtube saying why shouldn’t ever major in liberal arts. and i still don’t fully understand the major but if i consider it would it actually benefit me?

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@bethcollege, it depends on where you are going how flexible they are about adding electives that are not needed for graduation. The ideal thing is to think outside of the box for what is required - my son for example will be getting a music minor, and those classes oddly enough count towards humanities at his school.

But if you want to take a class that is not required, most colleges are perfectly fine with you doing so. The only difficulty is if the classes are outside of your college and the university is cranky about that (perhaps will require your advisor to give you permission).

If you are interested in web design but not in programming, there are classes for that, if not at your college, a college you can take a class at in the summer or online. You can use software tools to build webpages, you don’t have to code necessarily.

I’d suggest checking out this university: http://www.fullsail.edu/ for potentially taking a few online courses that seem interesting.

Also there are MOOCs which are free and online, to try.

I am trying to figure out though - I think the main thing you are saying that in HS, you had certain interests and did well at them, but the progression to college level work in the same areas bores you and you end up doing poorly. You might just be more right-brain (creative) than left-brain (mathy), but people tell you to be more left-brain because that’s where the “money” and “impact” is.

http://psychology.about.com/od/cognitivepsychology/a/left-brain-right-brain.htm

Think about people who work in advertising, they have a HUGE impact and don’t need to know squat about math.

The good news is, no matter what your degree you can maneuver yourself into a job that you like. You may have to start lower than you’d like if there is not a perfect match, but if you start figuring out what you do want to do, you’ll progress.

IMHO, all you describe is situational, and I don’t think meds will make someone happy when they are miserable, if they have reasons they are miserable. You seem to have a light at the end of the tunnel, but not be sure how to get there.

Is there any campus group that will help you, maybe one involved in webpage design or something like that? Could you give your department secretary advice on making their department webpage better?

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@rhandco i guess i am more of right brain person but i did love math (and science) a lot and was so good at it but like i said i don’t what happened to me in senior year i just lost interest in a lot of the subjects i was interested in. maybe i am depressed and this is the side effect of it idk. not just subjects hobbies even. i feel i need to push myself to do them and i do enjoy them eventually but it takes me so much effort to just do the things i actually like that’s why i am not able to study it’s physically and mentally tiring me.

and i didn’t mean that i love web design that much i enjoyed it but i never really saw it as a career path. it’s kind of a routine job and it’s limited.

the only thing i actually know is that i want a career that has an impact on the world (any good kind of an impact) where i have my space to be creative and innovative.

i know. i have a lot of issues. it’s been 4 years since my senior year and i’m just getting worse. :frowning:

i’ll really try to get a job this summer somehow. maybe that will help.

thank you for your help btw

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@bethcollege: Are you attending a For-Profit University? What would you say your GPA is now? Less than 2.0? Were you ever put on Academic Probation? I’m confused as to how many years you have been attending College. On the one hand you say you have done three years and then you say you have been out of High School for Four Years.

I’m curious, what is the name of the University you attending? IMHO, you should take some time off and work for a few years and attempt College again sometime in the future.

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If you are unwilling to get some paid job experience, volunteer at a homeless shelter or clinic. Then see how you feel. I would suggest you see a school counselor on a regular basis. No one said you “have to have” medication. Talking to a counselor on a weekly basis would help.

Take some random classes. Steve Jobs took Calligraphy at Reed College and learned how to write it in his version of fonts on his computer.

My daughter is your age and has signed up to take a class in: TRACTOR DRIVING. It has a wait list, but she’s still going to try to get in.

College is what you make it. So, go out and make something out of it!

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@pasta82 it’s 2015. i graduated in 2012 so i was a senior in 2011-2012. so i was in high school 3-4 years ago. and i am still in my third year in college. my GPA (without this semester) is about 2.7 out of 5. i already started taking the classes i failed at. i was suppose to major this semester but since i failed a lot of subjects i couldn’t. and i will most likely have to take some classes during summer break